A handful of peanuts...

too small

2012-02-09T13:23:00.000-08:00

you know your house is too small when you don't have to unplug the vacuum cord once in order to reach every last crevice of the house. well...that and when you can't find a space to escape the sounds of your crying non-napped eleven month old.

i am at my wit's end with this child. we have swaddled and rocked her to sleep since birth and although the swaddle has dramatically decreased, she will not sleep unless we stand there swaying back and forth. most times it takes two or three tries of laying her down before she will actually nap. we've been fighting lately. she's winning. i rock her as long as my back and arms can take it (about 30 minutes), and then i gently place her in the crib. she then cries for an hour until i give up and get her.

any ideas? this situation happens only during nap time if you are concerned. i will not give up her nap times, but my back can't take her 18 lbs. anymore. help...please???

Who really fights about that anyway?: Lori

2012-02-09T04:00:00.000-08:00

What do you do when you don't get asked to your junior prom? You dress up as if you had been asked and go to dinner with your best gal pals. That's what we did. My next guest blogger, Lori, joined me and another friend at a swanky restaurant in Scottsdale as we drowned our sorrows of not being asked to the dance in delicious food. She was one of my best friends in high school, and I wish we lived closer because I know we would would be running buddies if it was possible.

Do you remember the reason behind your first fight? How did you make up?

Our first fight was actually in the broom aisle at Target. We had just gotten home from our honeymoon and had taken our loot of Target giftcards to the store to try to stock our apartment. I picked out a "stylish" looking broom (if there is such a thing) that I wanted and he insisted that we buy the green Mrs. Libman broom that his mom had always used growing up. We duked it out right there in the middle of the aisle and in the end, he won and we got the ugly green broom. It's a good thing too because it really is a good broom and it is the kind I still use, 8 years later. I'm not really sure how exactly we made up but we were newlyweds...fresh off the honeymoon so you can probably imagine what happened.

i will be featuring different pieces of some of my favorite bloggers and readers' love stories throughout the month of February since it is the month of love and all. So don't be alarmed if you have lots of posts from me this month. Happy "love" making, and I mean that in the cleanest way.

peanut wonderings: what did you want to be when you grew up?

2012-02-08T12:48:00.000-08:00

{me circa 1987}

Does any kid really know what they want to be when they grow up? I guess they think they do. I did. At four, I was dead set on being a barbie. At ten, I knew I would be a professional ice skater. At seventeen, I settled on my natural ability to be a teacher and decided that would be my future profession. I tried to ignore my talents and switched around from major to major while in college hoping I would graduate in anything other than teaching, but nothing fit my personality as well as being in front of a classroom full of rowdy pubescent boys and girls.

Yesterday when I picked Mya up from preschool and again learned that she didn't want to sit and listen like the other kids and that she remained headstrong about doing her own thing, I wondered what she would be when she grows up. It's a gamble. She will either be the President of the United States, a hockey player or a nurse.

She'd make a good president because she is really good about saying a lot of fancy things but doing the exact opposite of what she says. She'd be an excellent hockey player because she has enough built up aggression that she will let it fly on the ice. And she'd be a stellar nurse because even though she has a rough exterior, she has a heart of gold and loves to nurture people. I often find her in her room rocking her baby animals to sleep. And when I was sick last week, she would come into my room and stroke my hair while whispering, "You'll get better soon."

I don't really care what she becomes as long as she doesn't end up in jail.

What did you want to be when you grew up? Did you become it? If not, what did you do with your life instead?

a slightly immodest love note: Bonnie

2012-02-08T05:00:00.000-08:00

My next guest blogger, Bonnie from Life of Bon, commented on my blog a few weeks back telling me she wanted to participate in this month's blog series. Before emailing her the list of questions, I decided to check out her blog and was really surprised to see a face I hadn't seen in years. I knew it was her instantly. She had been in several of my English classes at BYU. I remembered her because she is one of those people who has a personality of sunshine. I can't remember ever seeing her not smile. I admired her but that was about it. I am so glad we reconnected through this strange blogosphere.

The story of our first "love note"

I still have the first "love note" from my husband, Greg. It was written the day we met. I met Greg when he was walking across our apartment parking lot and I was sitting on my balcony. Because I am ridiculously outgoing and half crazy, I yelled out to him and his friends and asked them what they were up to. Greg replied that they were going to barbeque hot dogs. In a moment of pure insanity I yelled down, "Why don't you come to MY apartment to make ME a hot dog!"... and then added last minute "With your shirt off!" Greg, shy and completely thrown off, gave me a weird look and continued on his way.

I went to a friend's house that night, but when I came home, the following "love" note was taped to the apartment door. It read:

Bon Bon, I came over with my shirt off to make you a hot dog, but you are not here. Nonetheless, you are one great gal... Greg.

And that's when I knew... it was love.

i will be featuring different pieces of some of my favorite bloggers and readers' love stories throughout the month of February since it is the month of love and all. So don't be alarmed if you have lots of posts from me this month. Happy "love" making, and I mean that in the cleanest way.

Our love story: Our cozy first date

2012-02-07T15:00:00.000-08:00

That was our first picture together. Don't we look so young? It's crazy to think that was over five years ago. I think our video turned out better this time, and by that I mean...I don't think I interrupted Tim as much. I'm crossing my fingers, but you can be the judge. Enjoy!

relationship topic # 2: communication

2012-02-07T12:00:00.000-08:00

[image source]

It took twenty-two years and one rather aggressive shove into a concrete wall to realize the silent treatment may not be the best way to communicate in relationships. It took less than 30 seconds after my head was buzzing from the bang against the wall to understand saying "I'm sorry" is a much better plan.

There I was frustrated, confused, lonely and now sore from a newly-forming bruise on the back of my head in a foreign country trying to communicate to a person who didn't speak my language. While I was more advanced in the Spanish language than she was in English, I still had no idea how to express how I was feeling to this person I hardly knew. So I remained absolutely silent. Not a peep popped out of my mouth for over a day and a half, and I guess she had had just about enough of it. I remember she tried to start conversations with me. I quickly rejected her attempts. And so she did what I think everyone wishes to do when receiving the silent treatment--she threw me against a wall and told me to "get over it...whatever it was."

And within seconds, I did. It was pure magic.

Not to reveal all the dirty secrets of my childhood and adolescent years, but I grew up in a home where the silent treatment was the most common form of punishment. My parents gave it to us when they disapproved of our decisions. My siblings and I often exchanged scowls but not words as we passed each other in the hallway. Looking back at it all now is really quite laughable because we've all changed so much, but back then...no one knew how to communicate. And "I'm sorry" was rarely uttered when it unequivocally should've been said.

There were days when you could hear a pin drop because of the silence.

I vowed that day in Argentina that I would never let myself be silent for that long again. After talking to that same wonderful person who literally knocked some sense into me, I decided to give myself a time limit. I made the limit 20 minutes (give or take a few depending on my anger level). I have tried to remain true to my limit although I'll admit there have been a few longer periods. Sometimes a girl just has to collect herself.

Communication in any relationship can either make or break it. Too often, it breaks it. I've lost several good friends because of a lack of communication or miscommunication. On the flip side, some of the most fulfilling relationships I have are with people I can talk openly and freely with because they are patient with my communication flaws.

I don't want to only focus on the marriage relationship because I believe communication is key in any relationship, but boy has Tim ever taught me about communication in the past five years. So I will give you some tips I have picked up from our relationship and ones I have gathered throughout my life in hopes that it will help you reevaluate where you are and where you want to be.

**Talk less, listen more: A very wise man gave me this pearl of wisdom. I am still terrible at it when it comes to my relationship with Tim, but I do try to remember it when in conversations with friends because it allows them time to talk without being interrupted. No one likes to be interrupted.

**Learn to say sorry first: Why do we always think the other person needs to say it first? I will never understand that. I have realized in all my twenty-eight years that saying "sorry" isn't like playing tag--you're it. Just say it even if you are right. Being right isn't always the important thing.

**Go to bed even if you feel you must fight it out: I really dislike that marriage advice always passed to new brides...you know the one..."Don't ever go to bed angry." I say that's hogwash. Sometimes a good night's rest and clear mind is all you need to get back on track. Why fight while your angry and tired. Nothing good has ever come from being tired.

**Give yourself a time limit if you prefer the silent treatment: Are you like me? I'm sorry if you are. The silent treatment sucks. There isn't a pretty or eloquent way of saying it. Give yourself a time limit and tell the other person you just need some time to think. Try to go into a different room or push your phone away from you so you don't have to watch what they're tweeting and just think about things alone. You'll be amazed how good it feels to get over things faster.

**Don't use manipulative phrases when trying to explain why you feel the way you feel: You know those really manipulative phrases we use to try and paint a picture that we are right and the other person is well wrong and left too much collateral damage? Well, don't use those awful phrases. Be kind, but say what is on your mind the way it should be said. Try to use an even tone (sometimes this is hard for me since I am already loud as is), and sit while talking. I feel like standing provokes yelling. But maybe that's just me.

**Write down in a planner when you talked to someone on the phone: This is a recent thing I've learned to do to keep in touch with friends. I don't live by a single one of my best friends. And because I don't, I forget when I called or texted them last, so I keep a log in my planner. It's a good reminder.

**Take notes about solutions that work and don't work: If you blog or journal, this shouldn't be too hard for you. Write down good and bad solutions so you can go back and remind yourself how to make things better.

**Seek professional help if you are really stuck in this area: I'm not a professional. Duh. So if you need more help, get some. There's no shame in that. I bet the people you talk to will be happy you did. I do like this article though if you don't have a pretty penny to find a counselor.

What things have/have not worked in your life? How did you learn the technique? If you missed relationship topic #1, see here.

A fabricated lab schedule: Taryn

2012-02-07T04:00:00.000-08:00

I met Taryn over two years ago when she began attending the dental college I worked at while living in Utah. I have never been shy about saying I don't love dental hygienists, but there was a select handful from her graduating class that I admired and respected. She was one of them. Taryn had a baby girl within a month of starting the grueling dental hygiene program, but I never once heard a complaint out of her mouth. Her husband would often come by at lunch time to spend some quality time with her. I loved watching them together. I often thought that if I could be friends with the students, I would want to be friends with Taryn and Brady because they are a lot like me and Tim.

How did you meet?

The first time I ever met my husband wasat his (then) girlfriend’s apartment. We love to remember that we met eachother long before we were ever friends and even longer before we ever dated.Provo, UT can be such a small world!

My roommates and I were looking for a new placeto live, and had gone to check out some condos. We just picked a random doorand knocked. A boy answered the door, and was very happy to welcome us in andexplain to us why this would be the perfect place for us to live. There was agirl there too, and when we asked for a quick tour of the place we weresurprised to learn that this was actually her apartment, not his. She hadn’treally said a word the whole time. I’m not psychic, but I don’t think his girlfriend was super happy that he was so eager to welcome new girlsinto the neighborhood. Oh and he had a giant white boy fro! I’m not joking. Hedefinitely made an impression on us that night! Not only because of his massivecurly hair, but also because he was so friendly and genuine. He did his job,and we decided that we would move in to those condos the following fall.

When we did move in I had totally forgotten ouroriginal meeting, and I think he had too. We weren’t drawn to each other rightaway, it wasn’t love at first sight, and neither of us even had marriage on ourminds. Instead we were friends. For a long time I was actually better friendswith his friends than I was with him. Maybe I even dated one of his friends,and maybe he had other friends that he hung out with more than us.

So how did we meet? I always have a hard timechoosing which story to share when I get asked that question, because we didn’ttruly meet until we happened to have a class together at BYU. What class youask? Anatomy! We walked to class together, sat in class together, had cadaverlab together, and talked and laughed through class together when we should havebeen listening. I still remember talking that Sunday night before the new semesterstarted about which classes we were taking. He said he was taking Anatomy andwe found out we were in the same lecture and same lab! For some reason, he askedme multiple times which lab I was in and what days of the week it was, andalways said, “yeah, yeah that’s the same one I’m in”. Later I learned that hespent the whole week trying to rearrange his work and school schedules to beable to fit that specific lab into his schedule just so he could be with me.

We studied together and even though I tried notto, I realized that I kind of liked this guy. I was always excited at thethought of being with him. When I got dizzy from the smell of formaldehyde hetook care of me. I hate talking on the phone, but I found myself talking on thephone for hours with him. Once I realized how long it had been, I wouldimmediately make up an excuse and end the conversation. I was scared to let thefriendship become anything more than that. However, now that I had truly gottento know him, there was no denying that my feelings ran deeper than the friendshipthat I had originally chalked this one up to be. We really were great friends, we knew eachother well, we got each others jokes, we liked the way the other person viewedlife, we found ourselves finding every excuse to be together as much as possible,and we were more happy with each other than with anyone else in theworld. By the time we realized we were made for each other, and alwaysmeant to be more than friends, we had already built a strong foundation of loveand respect for one another that could no longer be hidden. Call it fate,a higher power, kindred spirits, serendipity, or what you will, but somethingor someone kept putting us in each other’s path over and over until we wereready.

With the start of our friendship, a flame was ignited,and from the moment that flame was ignited, it would never go away. Evenmore than four years later, though sometimes we disagree or get annoyed atsilly things, there is still a flame we each have for each other thatruns so deep it can never be put out.

just because

2012-02-06T18:27:00.000-08:00

I wish you could see this picture in all its glory, but I had to edit it for the masses. I don't want some creeper looking at my peanut. I love that big belly, especially when she runs around naked.

A gas station romance: Katie Stratton

2012-02-06T04:30:00.000-08:00

If you haven't visited Katie's blog: Katie's Pencil Box, I think you probably should take a minute out of your very hectic Monday and discover the beauty of a true artist. Her words, her art, her photography take my breath away. She will inspire you out of your pajamas and make you want to pick up a brush and paint, even if you have never painted before.

(photo credit: jenny haas)

how did you know you were in love?

when matt and i met, i wasn't in much of a place to be in love. i very much fought against it...and he was the most patient with me. he waited and waited and waited some more for me. we joked that when i really and truly was in love with him i would take us somewhere fancy to celebrate...like the hot dog island at the gas station. most nights he would drive past a gas station and ask if i was ready for a hot dog....i would laugh and say "we'll see".

after months of friendship and dating, one day i realized i couldn't breathe when i looked at him and never really cared to breathe again. i took him to the gas station and put a hot dog in his hand. we stood there and laughed and cried a little bit. we sat on the floor and ate our hot dogs and were promptly kicked out for loitering. haha.

it's been a couple years and i still can't breathe when i look at him. and gas station hot dogs will forever be the most romantic food in the world to us.

i will be featuring different pieces of some of my favorite bloggers and readers' love stories throughout the month of February since it is the month of love and all. So don't be alarmed if you have lots of posts from me this month. Happy "love" making, and I mean that in the cleanest way.

monday morning chatter

2012-02-06T04:00:00.000-08:00

I know...it's a terrible picture, but we'll just have to get over that. Last weekend I found out I have more woman in me than I had previously thought. I knew I could bake. Half of Peoria does too. But I didn't know I had it in me to do any other "crafty" project that required my hands. I have zero...and I mean zero...hand-eye coordination. I have never been talented in painting or sewing or creating anything that entails a sewing machine or a hot glue gun.

However, I did learn last weekend that I can crochet. I am slower than the average bear, but I enjoy how strategic the whole process is. And although I have to think a lot as I weave my little fingers in and around the soft yarn, my brain seems to fade away into a peaceful state. It is very therapeutic. We are headed to Chicago soon so I want to have two scarves made to hand out on the street. I can't guarentee they will be pretty scarves, but I know they will be warm. So here's to me and finding my inner woman.

I'm pretty exhausted today. I hope energy finds its way into my body soon otherwise my kids will have to be okay with cuddling and watching cartoons. Happy Monday!

a famous writer leaves her legend in mystery: Dorothy Gilman dies at 88

do you think teenagers are better behaved now than when you were younger: Today's Teens Better Behaved

i should really buy this sweater to wear when lounging around the house: Drop-shoulder cardigan

if you have a girl that is as girly as mine...she will love this: Paper dolls

these pretty little things are all my stomach wants lately: Perfect French Fries

in honor of her awesome superbowl show (i adore the song but don't love the video): Madonna-Like a Prayer

A first kiss for a tomboyish princess: Jari

2012-02-05T04:00:00.000-08:00

When my next guest blogger and best friend, Jari, told me a boy named Fred had asked her on a date, I remember thinking...Oh please don't let it work out. Who wants to marry someone named Fred? Truth be told, I imagined he would be short, round, old and slightly balding. I had never met a Fred before so that is what came to mind when I heard that name. Luckily for me and especially for Jari, Fred is nothing as I pictured him. He is handsome, young and sports a full head of hair. He is also perfect for my best friend.

Our First Kiss…

Some girls are born princesses, and helpless romantics.Others are natural born tomboys who love to roll in the dirt, wrestle for funand beat up on boys. But no matter what type of girl they are, every girldreams of the moment when her future husband kisses her for the first time.Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not a princess or a tomboy. But I am muchless of a princess than a tomboy. Growing up, I always dreamed that my best friend would be aboy, that we would do and talk about everything together, and then one daywhile we were hanging out shooting guns or camping, we would realize simultaneouslythat we were in love. He would take my face in his hands and gently kiss mejust like Mr. Thornton and Margaret Hale inNorth and South. Now let me just tell you, first kiss with Fred and our subsequentromance was nothing like my dream.

The first time I met Fred I knew that if we ever dated wewould get married. I avoided him like the plague for the next two weeks. Notthat he was trying hard to see me. After all, we were neighbors at the time soit wouldn’t have been hard to run into each other. But then on Friday night,January 19^th, I received a fateful text message. “Do you have planstonight?” To which I promptly responded no, and did he want to hang out? Callme crazy. I certainly wasn’t at a point in my life that I wanted to getmarried. But then again, we were just hanging out, right? We had a blast. Andtwo weeks later we were exclusively dating. That’s a story in and of itself butback to the topic at hand…

Because we were exclusively dating I knew we wouldinevitably have a first kiss. Most girls in this situation might be thrilledwaiting for the anticipatory moment. I, on the other hand, was overwhelmed withthe task of avoiding a terrible cliché. You see, Valentine’s Day wasn’t too faraway and I knew he was going to wait until then to kiss me. I didn’t want toknow it was going to happen. I wanted to be pleasantly surprised. It wassupposed to be a magical moment. No one is surprised when they get kissed onValentine’s Day. The week of Valentine’s Day arrived and in an effort to find away out of the dreaded situation I talked to my good friend Janine who wiselyadvised me that the only way to make sure my first kiss wasn’t on Valentine’sDay was to kiss him first before the day arrived. Shoot. Was I really supposedto be in charge of my first kiss ever with my future husband? But deep down Iknew she was right.

In the following few days several opportunities presentedthemselves for me to seize the moment and make magic happen. But each time Ichickened out. And then the day arrived. February 14^th. We went outto an early breakfast together and then said good-bye until night because Fredhad classes to attend to. All day long I fretted about what I knew was to come.Worse than that, I knew that all my roommates knew and that when I came homethat night everyone was going to ask me about it. Why did I have to be such achicken and not kiss him first?! If you want the truth, I don’t remember anything thatwe did that evening besides deliver flowers to his sister (it was her birthday)and the drop off at my door. Student housing doesn’t provide for the mostprivate of evening farewells. I could hear my roommates inside the door.

The moment arrived. I knew it had come and I couldn’t doanything about it. There I was; freaking out that he was going to kiss me insuch a cliché manner. There he was; freaking out that he was actually going tokiss me at all. And then like all the glory of an awkward teenage kiss (thoughwe were both well into our 20s) he leaned in and kissed me with a quivery lip.WHAT!!!! Your first kiss with your husband is supposed to send fireworks intothe sky and I got a quivery-lip kiss? Was I mistaken in knowing we were goingto get married? After all, there’s got to be some chemistry. We said goodbye, I quickly walked past my roommates(one of whom was my sister) into my room and I stewed about it all night. Thething about having a first kiss with your serious boyfriend is that it sets aprecedent and you know on all the dates thereafter that you will be receivingkisses. It’s bound to get better, Ithought.

Turns out after date number two following Valentine’s Daythe poor kid was just as nervous as before, and what did I get? Anotherquivery-lip kiss. The next kiss was slightly better but I wasn’t sure progresswas fast enough for him to get it right before he proposed. I explained mydilemma to another friend. “Look Jari.” She said. “If you like him so much andyou don’t like how he’s kissing you, next time just kiss him the way you wantto be kissed.” Brilliant. So that’s just what I did. 4 years and 1 child laterFred’s still kissing me the way I like to be kissed. And we are living veryhappily-ever-after.

(Just a note: I agree with Jari's friend and her advice. It's true...if your special someone isn't kissing you the way you want...teach him. You'll be glad you did.)

i will be featuring different pieces of some of my favorite bloggers and readers' love stories throughout the month of February since it is the month of love and all. So don't be alarmed if you have lots of posts from me this month. Happy "love" making, and I mean that in the cleanest way.

I hardly looked at him the entire night: Anna

2012-02-04T08:04:00.000-08:00

My next guest blogger is an avid reader of our blog and is my newly-married sister-in-law. She and Paul were married in December and are now enjoying their final semester of undergrad as newlyweds. I wonder if they will keep their grades up...just kidding. I know they will. Anna is one of the kindest and most genuine people I know. I know she is already one fantastic wife.

What do your remember about your first date?

Paul and I knew each other in high school...kind of. We knew of each other would be a better way to put it. So, after high school we both did our own things; school, missions, and then ran into each other one day on campus. Paul got my number and said we'd have to do something together sometime. I thought that was a great idea.

It was quite an ordeal getting the first date actually set up since we played phone tag back and forth for about a week and a half, but we were finally able to go out. We went on a group date to someone's house in Heber and it was great. There was a wonderful dinner, it was a beautiful night, and the house had a great game room upstairs that we took advantage of. I thought Paul was great; a wonderful conversationalist, fun to be around, easy to talk to, and we had some good discussions about things I was interested in like literature (including "Les Miserables" by Victor Hugo and "Dead Souls" by Nikolai Gogol) among other things.

I was pretty excited at the end of the date and definitely was up for spending more time with this guy. And, luckily, it ended up working out. When I've asked Paul about that date, the only thing he remembers is that is was a good date...and that I hardly looked at him the entire night. I guess I was nervous. Whoops. Well, good thing we got to keep spending time together!

i will be featuring different pieces of some of my favorite bloggers and readers' love stories throughout the month of February since it is the month of love and all. So don't be alarmed if you have lots of posts from me this month. Happy "love" making, and I mean that in the cleanest way.

A not so private first kiss: Joanna Goddard

2012-02-03T00:30:00.000-08:00

I was so nervous to write Joanna to help with this project because she is such a popular blogger, and I am well...not so much. It took me two days to muster the courage to email her. Imagine my surprise when a few days later I found this little note in my inbox: "I'd love to be part of this, what a fun idea." I was introduced to Joanna and her blog: A Cup of Jo by my best friend who had been following her for years. A Cup of Jo has become one of my favorite blogs because Joanna is an amazing writer. She blogs about things that mean something. She is genuine and real in every post. If I could meet one blogger, it would be her.

What do you remember about the first kiss?

After our first date, Alex walked me home from dinner, and, although I was usually a pretty slow mover (I'm a Michigan girl!) we kissed outside my apartment. The funny part? We were on busy Bleecker Street in downtown Manhattan, so even late at night, crowds of people were passing by. Three drunk guys passed us and yelled, "Look at the lovers!" Very romantic...we still sometimes joke about it, five years later. :)

i will be featuring different pieces of some of my favorite bloggers and readers' love stories throughout the month of February since it is the month of love and all. So don't be alarmed if you have lots of posts from me this month. Happy "love" making, and I mean that in the cleanest way.

food friday: stuffed bell peppers

2012-02-03T00:00:00.001-08:00

Stuffed Bell Peppers
4 bell peppers, any color
Salt
3 Tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil
1 medium yellow onion, peeled and chopped
1 clove garlic, peeled and chopped
1 lb. seasoned, cooked ground beef (I season my meat with salt and pepper, season all, garlic powder, and red pepper flakes)
1 1/2 c. cooked rice
1 c. diced tomatoes, fresh or canned (I use the canned tomatoes with green chiles)
1 Tbsp. chopped fresh oregano or 1 tsp. dried oregano
Fresh ground pepper
1/2 c. ketchup
3/4-1 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
Dash of Tabasco or hot sauce
1/4 c. water
grated cheese

Bring a large pot of water to a boil over high heat. Cut tops off peppers 1 inch from the stem end, and remove seeds. Add several generous pinches of salt to boiling water, then add peppers and boil, using a spoon to keep peppers completely submerged, until brilliant green. (about 7-10 minutes)

Preheat oven to 350. Heat 3 Tbsp. of oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add onions and cook, stirring often, until soft and translucent, about 5 minutes. Add garlic and cook a minute more. Remove skillet from heat, add meat, rice, tomatoes and oregano, and season generously with salt and pepper. Mix well.

Arrange the cut side of the peppers up in a baking dish, then stuff peppers with filling. Combine ketchup, Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce and 1/4 c. water in a small bowl. Mix well then spoon over peppers. Add grated cheese to top of peppers. Add 1/4 c. of water to the baking dish. Place in the oven to bake for 40-50 minutes.

simple as a belly button

2012-02-02T18:00:00.000-08:00

don't you wish life was as simple as discovering your belly button for the first time?

i do. this week has really been a doozy. i am tired beyond exhaustion. my littlest peanut has been suffering from the worse case of the stomach bug. on more than one occasion you could find us both on our hands and knees gagging on the poorly laid kitchen tile. she because the milk didn't sit right. me because the smell of her throw up was more than i could bear. we are quite the pair. mya has been avoiding both of us like the plague. i don't blame her.

my house is a disaster. the dishes are no longer screaming at me. they have now assumed the silent treatment. i just avert my eyes from the kitchen sink so i can't see the crumbs staring into my half-closed eyes. the clothes i folded last night have been tossed to and fro in mya's attempt to find her giraffe p-jammies. goldfish are already mashed into the nasty carpet i vacuumed this morning. and don't get me started on the bedrooms. perhaps we will all feel better this weekend, and i will want to clean. (let's be honest: who just wants to clean?)

parenting is a lot of work. it doesn't matter if your kids are two, twenty or fifty--you are always concerned for their welfare. when something isn't going right in their life, you want to help find a solution. at least, i do. i have hated watching v struggle this week. i have also missed running around the house with mya. i have had to neglect one just a little to baby the other. i know--tsk, tsk. i think deep down she understands.

although parenting can be hard, i am so glad i am a mom. i am happy that tim is my partner in crime. boy, is he ever a good partner. he came home early one of the days just to relieve me of some stress. he even let me slide on p90x. we've been going strong for over 6 weeks, but this week i just need a break. my body is at a breaking point. he has let me go to bed early and continued with the schedule as normal. what a guy.

someone recently asked me how i am able to blog with all that is going on around here. well, it's called scheduling posts. i write things down as i think of them. i save them and schedule them to appear a certain day. i refuse to neglect my little peanuts just to appease my writing needs. and believe me...i need to write. it clears my mind and heart and helps with the insomnia, oddly enough.

i hope you continue to enjoy all the relationship posts i have in store for you this month. i (and sometimes tim) have put a lot of thought into each post.

our love story: how we met (vlog style)

2012-02-02T10:15:00.000-08:00

This is our first attempt at a vlog, or video answer. Turn the volume up a bit because after watching it, Tim reminded me how bad I mumble. Oops. Please try and look over the fact that I cut in every ten seconds while Tim is talking. And please don't look at our messy kitchen. And avoid staring at my greasy workout hair. P.S. We didn't eat the rest of the pie.

We had fun doing this as awkward as we are. But if you liked it, tell me. Perhaps I can coax Tim into doing more for the future. We'll see. Enjoy the story of how we met. And just as a side note to keep in mind: When you get to the part about Tim's brother's wife (sp?), I feel you should know that she has become one of my best friends since Tim and I got married. We were not already friends when she met Tim's brother. That would've made the story even crazier.

Love can happen a second time: Mara Kofoed

2012-02-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

I don't remember how I happened upon Mara's blog, but I am so glad I did. She is an amazing person and a motivating blogger. She inspires me with every post. She has lovely gems of wisdom when it comes to making your marriage not only work but work very well. I won't spoil her story; it sounds better in her words anyway.

How did you know you were in love?

Well, I had been married before for 7 years. I had learned a lot about love during that time and learned even more about it during the divorce. So when I found myself unexpectedly single again in my thirties, I knew a thing or two about what I wanted in a husband. So many people were very kind and were trying to set me up with guys. They would always ask... "What kind of guy is your type?" And my answer was a "A nice guy. A really, really nice guy is my type." I also wanted him to be on the same spiritual path that I was on, as that had finally become very important to me in the couple of years prior. And I wanted a guy to have some spiritual fortitude.

As I faced the dating scene in Manhattan, it was easy to tell if someone met these requirements. Problem is, not too many guys met these requirements. ha! Come to find out, it was a pretty tall order. But one day I got an email from a woman I knew in Boston. She said she wanted to put me in touch with a guy she went to church with in Boston. She said he was a really, really wonderful guy. Everyone loved him and was wanting to set him up with people. And...he had just gone through a divorce. Based on these very basic things she told me, my heart was about to burst. I knew I was about to meet someone wonderful. You see, when you go through a divorce, you know how ugly it can be. So the fact that he had just gone through a divorce yet was A. going to church. B. still worthy of the praises of others. C. getting recommended to others by friends.......well, to a divorced woman, hearing this meant the WORLD. haha. I could read between the lines and knew firsthand how significant this was. So...I think it's safe to say I was in love with Danny before we exchanged our first emails. I was just in love with the kind of man that he was. And that love was just confirmed again and again with every word that he wrote to me. And again, when we met up 3 weeks later on a corner in New York City. We got married the next spring.

i will be featuring different pieces of some of my favorite bloggers and readers' love stories throughout the month of February since it is the month of love and all. So don't be alarmed if you have lots of posts from me this month. Happy "love" making, and I mean that in the cleanest way.

My first kiss with the player: Whitney

2012-02-01T13:00:00.000-08:00

I am so excited to share the stories I've received over the past month. I feel privileged my friends and fellow bloggers/readers would divulge pieces of their love story with me. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have.

{The first entry is very fitting for today's theme. Whitney is one of my very best friends. Neither of us has ever had too many girl friends, so the fact that we clicked is a pure miracle. She and Rusty are our equals. We are not completely us without them.}

Our first kiss; how to describe it? Ah, oneword…persistence. I was “waiting” for a missionary when I met Rusty and wasn’treally looking to date anyone seriously. Rusty dressed like a bit of a thug andput off a “bad boy/player” vibe. I agreed to hang out a few times and on thesecond night we hung out (in less than a week) he tried to kiss me…tried. I sawit coming and spent the majority of the evening keeping my head in hard toreach places. We walked around a little outside and he tried again, but I dodgedhim. The next night we hung out again, which meant he tried to kiss me again.That time I wasn’t quick enough for the complete miss, but gave him the cheekinstead. At that point it was obvious to both of us (and to all the curiouseyes that wander at Raintree Apartments) that he was trying…hard. We stayed outuntil after midnight, snuggled outsidein blankets thanks to the honor code. At that point the ever elusive kiss was aconversation point. It went something like this:

Rusty: “Why don’t you want me to kiss you?”

Me: “You barely even know me, why do you want to kissme?”

Rusty: “Well, I’m good looking and you’re good looking,soooooo…..why not?” (Yes, that’s for real)

I remember thinking man,this player is playin’ hard. So we snuck into the Raintree clubhouse andwatched a movie. We stayed in there until 6am and Rusty was trying everythinghe could think of to get that kiss. Finally around 7am he had had enough andgot up, ready to go back to his apartment. I thought wait…don’t go. I think I DO want you to kiss me. So I told him not to leave, to which helooked at me suspiciously and tried one last time…success. As he walked me back to my apartment Ithought well,player got what he wanted, guess that’s it for him. Almost 6 years later Ican firmly say…thank goodness he proved me wrong.

Our love story: The first kiss

2012-02-01T12:30:00.000-08:00

As I post stories from other bloggers/readers throughout the month, Tim and I thought it would be fun to share pieces of our love story with you too. (We'll be writing them together because we are insanely cute like that.) Some of you may know them already, but you'll just have to hear them again. Plus, we indulge a little more in writing than we do in actual speech so you may learn something new.

Me: Do you want to start?
Him: No, you go ahead. I want to think about it first.
Me: I just remember we got out of the Taurus. Did we go on a date?
Him: I don't know.
Me: Me either.
Both: Hmmm. [head scratch]
Him: Was it a Sunday?
Me: Yeah, I think so.
Him: Or was it a Saturday?
Me: I think it was a Sunday. I didn't see you the day after our first date.
Him: Yes you did. You saw me everyday.
Me: Oh.
Him: You strategically "left your gloves" in the car so I had to see you. Quote, unquote.
Me: Ahh...I remember.
Him: I know it was snowing.
Me: I remember a street light. Wasn't there a street light?
Him: There was some light. Probably the heavens smiling upon us. [hahaha]
Me: You walked me up to the stairs, right?
Him: No, I drove up the driveway. We only walked two steps or so because the door was on the side of the house.
Me: Hmmm. I am bad at this.
Him: Duh.
Me: So there was a light. From heaven, right?
Him: You gave me the look. I had to do it. [hahaha]
Me: You gave me the look so I gave it right back.
Him: No I didn't. Whatever.
Me: You did. Admit it.
Him: You totally wanted it.
Me: True, but so did you.
Him: I obliged.
Me: No...I let you kiss me.
Him: Oh please.
Me: Was it just a peck?
Him: Uhhh...I think it started out a peck.
Me: Oh. Perhaps we should censor the rest.
Him: Must have been memorable. [hahaha] Good thing we had others.
Me: I still remember your face--the way it wanted to kiss me.
Him: Oh please. You have a bad memory. We all know you forget everything.
Me: Rude, but true.

But really, I do remember a soft light coming from somewhere, we'll say it was from heaven, and it was lightly snowing. It was perfect. I had wanted Tim to kiss me since he held my hand while watching The Office on our very first date (which happened to be the day before). Well, I had wanted him to kiss me since I decided I was totally smitten after two phone calls. So I had to wait a long, long time.

Tim just remembered it all happened after we went to the wedding reception of the guy I thought I was going to marry before I realized Tim was way better suited for me. Tim kindly agreed to be my date to this other dude's wedding. (He was a gem from the beginning.) I was staying at my best friend's house in Salt Lake, and I remember holding hands on the way home. I knew we were going to kiss. He knew it too.

i will be featuring different pieces of some of my favorite bloggers and readers' love stories throughout the month of February since it is the month of love and all. So don't be alarmed if you have lots of posts from me this month. Happy "love" making, and I mean that in the cleanest way.

peanut wonderings: when was your first kiss?

2012-02-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

how old were you when you had your first kiss? would you take it back if you could?

I was fourteen

I had just ditched my glasses and my frizzy perm

In a sense, I thought I had come into my own

I quickly realized I hadn't

He was seventeen

A boy from the track team with too much enthusiasm

He was handsome

and had a car

I needed a ride

He didn't park in front of my house

I was confused

He kissed me square on my lips before I could find the door handle

It scared me half to death

I wouldn't kiss again until I was seventeen

That first kiss was just so traumatic

I would take it back if I could

And I would've punched him in the face if I had more guts

[image source]

p.s. my husband hates when i talk about other people i kissed...so maybe don't remind him of this story when you see him because he frowned the entire time he was reading it.

trial separation

2012-01-31T05:17:00.000-08:00

There is an invisible prenuptial agreement somewhere with imaginary scribbled signatures from both Tim and me which states, "If either the husband or wife gains more than 25 lbs. from the wedding date, guilty party agrees to a trial separation on the couch until he/she loses weight." Thankfully, we have never had to enforce the trial separation although Tim playfully threatens to kick me to the couch during pregnancy because he said we never discussed any clauses to the agreement. (I think he justs want the bed to himself since I am a terrible sleeper during pregnancy. I toss and turn relentlessly.)

Joking aside, two dear friends of mine called me last week to tell me they were separating from their respective husbands. The news came as quite a surprise and rocked my socks off. I listened to their stories and wondered how in the world I could help. I've had that same question swimming around my head all week, and I finally decided to ask you for advice.

My one friend has already contacted a lawyer and knows divorce looms in the future. Neither she or her husband is willing to budge on a couple of key issues and a permanent split seems inevitable. My other friend is not even considering divorce. However, she is participating in this trial separation in hopes that it will produce a positive outcome. As we talked, we asked each other how it would be possible to make separation a positive and good experience.

Do you have any ideas/suggestions?

Last week was exhausting for me emotionally as I tried to consider how my friendship to these two outstanding women could buoy them up during this trial. Thinking about them has made me squeeze Tim a little tighter and kiss our girls that much more.

[image source]

an explosion

2012-01-30T18:02:00.000-08:00

i think the government might consider employing my little troop of peanuts in their next defensive war scheme. we create some major explosions around these parts. the aftermath has destroyed the house and weakened papa and mama peanut.

is anyone else battling the stomach bug? i may just go to bed, and it's only 8pm. i look like a train wreck, and my body just needs a rest after all that it has seen today.

[image source]

monday morning chatter

2012-01-30T08:00:00.000-08:00

(Liniers, Buenos Aires, January 2006)

Buen dia, or good morning for those of you who need to brush up on your Spanish skills. This morning I am a bit nostalgic for the city that still holds my heart: Buenos Aires. I remember my first morning in B.A. The alarm buzzed at 6:20am and somehow I found my way off the top bunk that swayed like a ship at sea and made it to the dimly lit bathroom. I splashed water on my face and bent down to lace up my running shoes only to find a very foreign face waiting for her turn in the baño. I slid past her in the hallway and muttered the best I could think of in my groggy state, "Buenos dias, hermana," to which she quickly corrected, "Buen dia." Confused, I took a seat on one of the only pieces of furniture in our living room. What did she just say? Doesn't she know how to say good morning? Did I say it wrong?

Within minutes we had our apartment keys in hand and were descending down five flights of curvy stairs. When she opened our building door, I remember feeling chilled to the bone as the cold, damp air enveloped me within seconds. We began our jog. Being a true Argentine, she wasn't much of a runner but wanted to support my desire to stay fit so she tried to keep up with my rickety pace. When we reached the small--and I mean really small--park in the middle of a triangular intersection, she took her seat at the nearest bench where I quickly picked up my pace and began to run what seemed like a hundred laps around that tiny plaza. After 20 minutes, she stood, and I knew it was time to return to the apartment. On our quick walk back, we were met by dozens of smiling faces rinsing off the sidewalk, turning on their bakery lights and washing the store windows. Each one greeted us with what is all too familiar to me now: "Buen dia hermanas." And so I learned the correct Argentine way to say "good morning" and happily began my bumpy eighteen months in a distant land.

Six years ago I went on a service mission for my church. I fell in love with crowded streets, cranky cab drivers, expensive water bottles and smelly subte (subway) cars. I miss it all terribly, especially since I looked out my icy window this morning only to be greeted by empty streets. Not a soul to wave to. No one to whisper good morning to. Most mornings I wake up early enough to wave to our sweet neighbor girl who has taken fondly to my girls, but not today. I just missed her. Today I wish we lived in a big city so I could pack my girls up in the double stroller and walk with them among the bustling and hurried crowds. I think Mya would love that. She's a people watcher just like her mama. If only...

So if you could choose a big city for me to move my peanuty family to, which would it be? And where would you tell me to go first?

I hope you have a peaceful week. I am excited to begin this month's blog series. I have some amazing bloggers/writers/friends to introduce you to. P.S. I am still accepting answers. However, until then...here's my Monday chatter:

This woman's audacity motivates me: Jacqueline G. Wexler dies at 85

An article on writing I really enjoyed reading this week: How to become a writer

I really like and want this skirt--I'd wear it with comfy, colorful flats: Papersack Skirt

The sandals that have me dreaming of spring: Jalen by Jessica Simpson

You can bet Mya and I will be making this Valentine crown this week: Heart crown

I'm making these delicate little cupcakes for a baby shower this week: Red Velvet Cupcakes

I am in love with this song I found from fellow blogger C. Jane Enjoy It: Jack and White-Night after night

I decided this week that I need to start watching this show from the beginning: 30 Rock

introducing the newest peanut

2012-01-29T19:44:00.000-08:00

name: goldie

birthday: ask PetSmart

weight: approximately five pringles chips

height: about the same length as an apple stem

scale color: sunshine gold

eye color: beady black

cost: $.27

death date: we hope not soon

This was our big family date this weekend. We love doing things that make that little peanut smile. She is madly in love with that little swimmer. She talks to her every time she comes into the kitchen. She is our newest kitchen table centerpiece. Who needs flowers when you have Goldie?

stuffed

2012-01-28T10:30:00.000-08:00

This is what it looks like when a 3 year old stuffs herself into a Halloween costume fit for an 18-month old...

an award

2012-01-28T10:00:00.000-08:00

I can't remember the last time I actually received an award. I bet it was that last track meet I competed in my sophomore year. Does receiving an A on a paper count as an award? I probably put more sweat and tears into my twenty page papers than I did in all my ice skating programs as a teenager. Do you know how hard it is to fill twenty pages? It's nearly impossible unless you are writing about a spectacular topic, which never happens in college.

Well, a fellow blogger and recent cyber friend granted me the Liebster Award. Liebster in German means dearest, beloved, or favorite, and it is for bloggers with under 200 followers (which I obviously fall under). Thank you Char. I enjoy perusing your blog and keeping up with all the fun things you do.

The rules are:

1. Thank your Liebster Blog Award presenter on your blog.

2. Link back to the blogger who awarded you.

3. Copy & paste the blog award on your blog.

4. Reveal your 5 blog picks.

5. Let them know you chose them by leaving a comment on their blog.

My Five Liebster Blog Picks are...

1. Life of Bon

2. Field Notes

3. The Zufelts

4. good day, sunshine

5. Life won't wait

relationship topic #1: intimacy in romantic relationships

2012-01-27T05:02:00.000-08:00

Shhhh...this might surprise you...I'm not a virgin. Okay, it's not really new news since I have two peanuts and all, but sometimes this fact still surprises my 28 year old self. (As a disclaimer to my readers, I want you to know that I recognize this topic is taboo, especially in many religious communities. If just reading the word "sex" makes you uncomfortable, stop reading now. I will address other more pleasing topics throughout the next month so be sure to stick with me.)

Today I'm tackling the topic of intimacy in romantic relationships in the only way I know how--I will be straight, honest and clean. I'm talking about this topic first to get it out of the way; it's an awkward subject for most people. Don't worry mom and dad, I promise not to write anything that will embarrass you; however, I want do want to begin a discussion that will hopefully evoke helpful feedback for all couples.

If you know me or Tim at all, you know we joke about sex a lot. I'd like to blame the bad habit on our best friends but am not sure if that theory still rings true since we haven't lived near them in over two years. We joke about the normal things: funny lingerie we see in major department stores and interesting objects sold in gas station bathrooms and overdone love scenes portrayed in movies or in tv shows. But though we playfully joke, I am a firm believer that intimacy is a very personal and divine act and should be treated as such.

Before I got married I thought I knew my fair share about sex. I did not grow up in a home where the word "sex" was ever shielded from family conversation. In fact, it was a semi-regular topic of conversation in my grown-up years. I think my mom felt it was important for us to know the straight facts so we didn't get ourselves into trouble. Whether or not my siblings and I heeded her cautions is up for debate. Well, thanks to my mom's words and discussions I had had with my friends prior to my wedding, I felt prepared for intimacy.

However, I quickly realized how unprepared I was. I will let you in on a little secret: Intimacy is different for every couple. What might work for one couple might fail for another. BUT (and this is the most important part) you should never stop trying to make your partner feel happy and comfortable. Tim and I learned this secret on our honeymoon and throughout our first year of marriage as we discussed what we thought sex would be like and what it actually was. Yes you read that correctly, we talked and still talk about the ups and downs of sex. Our intimate life has changed as we have changed. Yours will too. I hope you talk about it with that special someone.

Do we have any special advice for you? Not really. We are not experts. But we do love each other a lot and try in every way to make each other happy. But since I know you are secretly hoping I will have some pearls of wisdom, here you go (take it or leave it):

--Our good friends once told us, "Men are like microwaves, women are like ovens." I'll let you figure out the meaning behind this one.
--Intimacy does not always equal sex. Sometimes we are perfectly satisfied cuddling at night as we enjoy pillow talk.
--Another friend really opened my whole world when she told me to stop thinking about other things during sex. I think this tip is more for women because Tim can't understand why I'd be thinking about the dishes or my messy house during an intimate moment.
--If you are really struggling in this area, you should probably talk about it more openly with your spouse. You may even need to purchase some literature. Don't be ashamed. There's an entire section devoted to the subject in your local Barnes and Nobles. And yes, I know that.
--You should talk about frequency. Sometimes males and females are on two different playing fields when it comes to how many times a week/month/year (hopefully not year) people should have sex. The number will change with different periods of life so you should revisit this one every once in awhile.
--Say thank you or show appreciation for intimate moments shared. Sometimes I will text or email Tim midday and say "thanks for last night" or "i needed that hug this morning" or i loved that kiss on my cheek." He does the same. The more we do that, the more we feel inclined to do it again. So be grateful.

Did I say too much? Are you blushing? Mom, I'm pretty certain you are. Sorry about that. I tried to tread lightly as I wrote about this topic.

Now...talk to me. Do you agree? Disagree? What did I miss? If you want to read more about this topic, please visit the very knowledgeable author Alisa Bowman at Project Happily Ever After.

food friday: homemade spaghetti sauce

2012-01-27T05:00:00.001-08:00

My dear friend and very talented cook and photographer, Nickell, opened my whole world to homemade spaghetti sauce nearly a year ago. I first tried this delicious and easy sauce on her BBQ chicken pizza. It was the base red sauce of the pizza. I begged her for the pizza recipe and was happily surprised when I realized the sauce could also be used in spaghetti. We love "psgetti" in this house. Every time I eat this meal I wish we still lived around the corner from Nickell and her family. Missing you guys tonight.

Nickell's Spaghetti Sauce
1 small can of tomato paste
1 can tomato sauce
1 14 oz. can diced tomatoes
1Tbsp. garlic poweder
1 tsp. oregano
1 tsp. parsley
1 tsp. basil
1 tsp. Italian seasoning
1 tsp. onion powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
1/4 c. Parmesan
1 Tbsp. sugar
1 lb. cooked ground beef (omit ground beef if using as the base of a pizza...obviously)

Combine all ingredients except ground beef in a pan. Bring to a low boil. Add cooked ground beef and let simmer for 10 minutes. Pour over spaghetti noodles.

Want to know a secret? If you want this sauce to be even better than it already is, add a little heavy cream on top of your sauce and mix it around. The people in Argentina taught me the heavy cream trick and it has been a life saver on my super sensitive stomach. My tummy just doesn't handle straight red sauce well.

pillow talk

2012-01-26T07:19:00.000-08:00

**i roll over to nestle my head in that cushiony part between the shoulder and armpit**
me: you smell so good
him: you smell good too
me: you smell better
him: true
me: well...i did put deodorant on today
him: don't you put it on everyday?
me: sometimes i forget
him: i notice
me: rude
him: well...it's good you put it on today
me: i know
him: i know what we should talk about at our next family night
me: what?
him: personal hygiene
me: poopers
him: well, someone has to teach mya how to be clean and obviously you're not the one to do it
me: rude again
him: who is the one who forgets to shower, wear deodorant and brush their teeth?
me: touche
him: and i am going to teach her to wipe after she goes to the bathroom
me: good idea
him: she's so gross
me: i know, but at least she likes to wash her hands [insert laughter]
him: yep
me: i'll let you be the teacher
him: who else could teach it? obviously not you.
me: hmmm.
him: i'm glad you brushed your teeth tonight
me: me too
**kiss, kiss**

to my credit: i do shower at least once a day...i just never know when that once will come around. and per my new year's resolution--i've been much better about brushing my teeth and flossing when i wake up instead of whenever i remember during the day. if you have kids, you totally know what i am talking about. i am not gross.

lemonade

2012-01-25T17:09:00.000-08:00

i once knew this girl

we weren't close friends, but we were more than mere acquaintances

although we shared the same age, she was the teacher and i was the pupil

she was dealt a large bowl of lemons

but she quickly learned to make the sweetest lemonade

she died three years ago

there isn't a week that passes that i don't think of something she taught me in her final three weeks

now people honor her by doing what she loved

they run for her

just as she ran for others

i wish i lived in arizona so i could run in her race

but i will pound the pavement here to remember her on the same day of the race

if you didn't know her, you should probably start from the beginning

she will amaze you and touch your heart even though she is gone

if you live in arizona, i hope you will participate in her race

it would mean a lot to me...but more importantly...to the family she left behind

peanut wonderings: are you more scared of dying or having your partner die?

2012-01-25T05:01:00.000-08:00

Tim thinks this is a really creepy topic. He didn't even answer the question when I posed it to him last night. I'll admit that it is, but it's been on my mind ever since I read a sweet little post by Joanna Goddard. She asked her blog readers if they ever worried about their partner dying. My immediate reaction: YES...every time he is five minutes off his normal home arrival time.

I don't know why I am the way that I am. I am a worrier and have been for as long as I can remember. My stomach would knot up any time my parents went on a date and didn't come home exactly when they said they would. That knot has probably tied itself into several potential ulcers since we've been married.

Here's the deal: I am madly in love with my husband. I feel him even when he isn't around me. His voice is always inside my head pushing me forward and cheering me on, especially when 2:30pm rolls around and the kids are out of control. I know every inch of his face. I love the touch of his skin. I steal his pillow after he gets out of bed in the morning just so I can smell him a little longer. He is the only person who knows and understands all my idiosyncrasies, and he is the only person I have ever felt I can be completely "me" with all the time. He is my equal in every way so the idea of something happening to him is really an uncomfortable one. Perhaps you have felt the same...

However, I was thinking about the article as I listened to Tim breathe deep in sleep, and I started to think of Jo's question from another angle. Am I more scared of something happening to him or to me? If you know Tim, you know that I am his whole world. That man could probably go without everything else if asked to just to be with me. As unbelievable as this may sound in this crazy world full of divorce and separation, Tim is 100% committed to making my life better, happier even. (And he does.)

As the question brewed in my head, I thought about how Tim would react if something happened to me. He would be heartbroken. The face that normally graces my presence with a smile would be smile-less. And that would kill me. I know he would pick up the pieces because he will be forced to, but I know how much the loneliness would hurt him.

Then, I thought of my girls and the many milestones I would miss. The school performances. The dances. The boyfriends. The weddings. Everything. I had to stop thinking about my peanuts because my stomach really starting aching at that point.

But then my thoughts turned to my parents, siblings and friends. People who are already separated from me by distance, and I thought about how much they are a part of my life. And how I am completely wrapped up into theirs.

I am not trying to toot my horn. Heaven only knows I don't have a big horn to toot, but I think there are people who would miss me. And the idea of that makes me sad. So I remain undecided. My life would be incomplete without Tim. I doubt I would ever remarry. He has ruined the chances for any other man. Who could ever compete with the love he has shown me for the past five years? But I think losing me would kill him too. So it's a tough call. What do you think?

impossible wardrobe

2012-01-24T17:04:00.000-08:00

Remember the little blue dress? Remember the days when that's all she would wear? I long for those days. Now I can't seem to keep her out of closet. She goes through at least 10-12 wardrobe changes a day. It's impossible to keep her room clean. I should've been counting my blessings when all she would wear was that dang twirly dress. So much less laundry. (Don't you love how V follows her around?)

not always as romantic

2012-01-24T05:00:00.000-08:00

to be in love is such a romantic ideal, but staying in love is not always as romantic. while love most often endows people euphoric feelings, staying in love can be grueling at times. you may battle the lack of time or a handful of peanuts or too much work or some anger or a bit of depression or an absence of trust or persistent addictions. to remain in love takes time, patience, forgiveness, understanding, respect, kindness, physical connection and a change of heart (list not all inclusive).

with the month of love quickly approaching, i will be exploring the different facets of relationships that perhaps people think about all too often but speak of so infrequently. i will speaking from my own experience being married to tim and from relationships i have been able to observe closely. while most of the discussion will be centered around romantic relationships, i will be interjecting some thoughts for other relationships. is there something you would like me to research and write about? or is there a particular area of your relationship that you feel is worth sharing for others to learn from? please email me at ahandfulofpeanuts{at}gmail{dot}com.

i am still waiting for a few responses for my February Crush Project. would you like to participate? all you need to do is email (above) me a picture of you and your special someone along with an answer to one of the following questions:

How did you meet?

What did you think of him/her on your first date?

What do you remember about the first kiss?
What has been your best date?
What has been your worst date?

Do you remember the first awkward moment between you two?

Do you still have his first love note? What did it say?

How did you know you were in love?

How did he ask you to marry him? Or how did she react to your proposal?

What is your favorite memory of your wedding day?

What is your favorite moment of the honeymoon?

What was your first gift to him/her?

Do you remember the reason behind your first fight? How did you make up?

What is your preferred way to flirt as a married couple?

Do you have a special pet name for your crush?

How do you keep the flame alive after months or years of marriage?

monday morning chatter

2012-01-23T09:30:00.000-08:00

I like to smile, but I don't do it enough. This weekend I smiled a lot. Do you know what makes me smile most? Making other people smile. I feel proud if I can provoke a smile or sly grin from one of my bitterly sarcastic remarks. I feel sexy when I see Tim checking me out from across the room. I feel wealthy if I find a few extra dollars left in our account at the end of the month. I feel successful if I bake a plate of treats and find them gone by midday. I feel accomplished when I play with the girls and hear their infectious giggles and squeals. Savoring the proud, the sexy, the wealth, the success and the accomplishments of every day make me smile.

Last week I sent Tim to work with a bag filled to the brim with these delicious homemade cookies (I found the recipe here thanks to Melina. I would half the recipe next time because we really should not eat 70 cookies.):

It is not unusual that I send treats and goodies to work with Tim. I am like a proud mama sending her kid to 1st grade with treats on his birthday. I love to bake but can't afford the calories so I send them to Caterpillar. Engineers don't seem to think about calories. I guess they don't have time with all those other logical things rolling around in their brains. They love my cooking. Their daily compliments such as: "Did your wife just grow up with her mom in the kitchen?" or "Is there anything she can't make?" or "Will she take orders?" just fill my little heart to the brim. So I keep baking for us, and well, for them because they keep making me smile. Tim came back to his desk after running around on the floor for awhile and found the bag empty and this note:

Swoon. You may think I am dumb, but boy that bunch of tractor designing men can really turn my frown upside down. Thank you men. You bet I will be refilling the bag soon. What makes you smile?

This week's chatter:

a sad obituary i read last week. it made me tear up from the beginning: Sarah Burke dies at 29
college football loses a champion: Joe Pa dies at 85
after reading about another death because of texting while driving, here's this week's article: Distracted Driving

the swimsuit i am considering for our cruise: Tommy Bahama "Pearl"
the little black dress that i wish i could take with me on the cruise: Twistneck dress
an easy valentine's day craft any mom would adore: Valentine handpring wall hanging
a romantic breakfast that will make your special someone fall in love all over again: Smashed raspberry chocolate pancakes
the song on my mind this morning: Josh Radin-What if you

let the epic battle begin...

2012-01-22T17:40:00.000-08:00

one golden-eyed princess + one fiery red-headed witch + one dashing prince phillip + one chubby good fairy + two homemade tinfoil swords = the epic battle of the century. it has begun. may the best character win.

some simple financial advice from a grandma

2012-01-21T05:00:00.000-08:00

I know this lady who happens to be a grandma of a handful of peanuts, and she is a very wise lady. When I think of a person who really understands money, I think of her. She taught me the value of a dollar when I was barely out of diapers. I can still remember sitting at her oblong wooden table eating donuts on Saturday mornings and have her unknowingly teach me how to be smart with money.

Sadly, I did not heed her advice until I met Tim and decided I didn't want him to know me as a financial disaster. I learned to budget. I learned to save my pennies. I learned to spend wisely. I will be forever grateful for the lessons I learned from this smart, little lady. I asked her to write a thing or two for you lovely readers about how she and my grandpa figured out the ins and outs of money while raising kids. Hope you enjoy it:

"At first, we didn't mange well. We had credit cards up the ying-yang and Grandpa was earning $90 a week. On Saturdays he did some refereeing for basketball games and umpiring for baseball games to bring in some additional money. I had to go to work. We sat down one night and cut up all of our credit cards leaving only one for emergency with $5,000 credit limit. In those days the finance charges were low. We started the green book listing all our bills on a monthly basis. As we paid them, we highlighted them out. This gave us an overview of our bills and what was outstanding. I realize now, one uses Excel or something similar on their computers. I personally don't put my banking info on the internet. The green book is sufficient.

We joined the 401K plans for retirement starting with the lowest contribution we could do. It added up. We put 10% of our earnings in a saving account for small emergencies. Nowadays there is so many electronic gadgets that tempt the younger generation. They always seem to want the newest thing. Thankfully we don't get involved with that. We stayed within our means.

I read your list and saw one item you were anxious to get: your income tax return. We always looked forward to getting ours. Every year we would pay a portion on the principal of our home, car, medical bill balances and any balance on the one credit card.

Now we sit back and enjoy retirement."

Note from me:
I should keep a green book, but I usually write our budget on a piece of paper and hang it next to our a computer. I need a daily, visual reminder to help me stick to the plan.

endearing

2012-01-20T10:44:00.000-08:00

Is it bad that one of her most endearing qualities is her sad face? I want to scoop it up like a bowl of ice cream and eat every last bite. She is utterly scrumptious. Lest you be concerned--I picked her up immediately and dried those sad alligator tears with my sleeve. That is the pure love of a mother.

this little lady...

2012-01-20T07:51:00.000-08:00

This little lady has been on a roll this week. She...

...has discovered she loves hot chocolate

...has eaten too many sugar cookies and told me she "feels a little crazy"

...asked me "if my pee-pee was bleeding" as i signed in at my very busy doctor's office

...lost her expensive earring (ugh)

...learned how to do the splits

...broke the pearl bracelet Tim gifted me for Christmas last year

...has been a princess all week

...has pretended i am an evil witch all week too

...picked V up and dropped her in the middle of the grocery store

...decided she wants to be a nurse and "poke people with needles"

...stopped a lady wearing a bandana and asked her if she was a pirate

...has told me she loves me a trillion times

Boy, she drives me crazy sometimes. My face was totally red when she yelled what she did in the doctor's office. I'm glad she is so observant but wish she knew discretion. I guess that will come with time. Even though I wanted to crawl under a rock a couple of times this week, I just adore her.

food friday: my healthy attempt at chicken enchiladas

2012-01-20T05:00:00.000-08:00

(sorry this picture isn't the best...i always forget to take pictures of the dinners before we eat them)

I adapted this recipe from the "Kraft Foods" website. I love Kraft Foods because they give simple dinner recipes for people like me who want to eat something totally delicious but don't want to run to the store for bizarre ingredients. You may have to fish around for things that suit your personal taste, but I have not been disappointed when using recipes found on their site. I found this one when we were first married. I don't even look at the recipe anymore when I make it so that should tell you how much we like this meal. They aren't your typical enchiladas, but they are delicious.

Chicken Enchiladas

3 chicken breasts, boiled and shredded

1 onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 1/2 cup salsa

4 oz. reduced fat cream cheese

1-2 Tbsp. chopped cilantro

1/2 tsp. cumin

**optional: 1 can chopped green chiles (I always add them. We love things spicy.)

1 1/4 cup cheddar cheese

8-10 tortillas

Place chicken breasts in boiling water. Boil. Remove from water and shred. Preheat oven to 350. Heat pan sprayed with cooking spray on medium heat. Add onions and garlic; cook and stir 2 min. Add chicken, 1 c. salsa, cream cheese, cilantro, cumin and chiles (if desired). Mix well. Cook until heated through, stirring occassionally. Add 3/4 c. cheese, mix well.

Spoon about 1/3 cup of the chicken mixture onto each tortilla. Roll up and place seam side down in a 13x9 baking dish. Top with remaining salsa and cheese.

Bake 20 minutes or until heated through.

this week according to my iPhone and some answers

2012-01-19T10:00:00.000-08:00

my latest daily craving: mcdonald's yogurt parfait

entertaining v during her supposed naptime

keeping warm in our meat locker house

crushing on tim so i didn't focus on the mcdonald's nausea

freezing with the kids under several blankets

mya's newest skill--the splits

v eating cookie dough

v eating my yogurt parfait

v eating an orange (do you see a pattern?)

On Saturday, a fellow blogger, Whitney, tagged me for the "11 fun facts" thing that is going around the blogging world just like the cough is going around our house. I'll admit that I never do these things. I just never have anything really fun to say about myself so I just read what people write and pass on my turn. Well, here is my feeble attempt at the "11 fun facts," but I will not keep the tag going only because I think the people I could tag would roll their eyes at me. So I am sorry I am breaking a few of the rules.

eleven fun facts about me

1. i have kept every love note tim has ever written me

2. i nap every single day

3. i love salt a little too much that i may die by an overdose of salt intake

4. i like to shower in the dark

5. i brush my teeth with hot water

6. pie is my favorite dessert

7. i have a secret crush on ryan gosling

8. i wish i could receive a piece of snail mail everyday--it's my favorite

9. my best friends are just as sarcastic as me and provoke me to say really funny things

10. i love when tim runs his fingers through my hair and ask him to do it frequently

11. i could eat pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner

answers to Whitney's questions

Who is your celebrity crush? already noted...ryan gosling

If you had to eat one food for a whole week what would it be? pizza or caesar salad

What's your favorite kind of pie? strawberry-blueberry or banana cream

Who did you see at your very first concert? sugar ray

Do you think the chicken or the egg came first? definitely the chicken

How do you eat your Oreo's? whole with milk

Are you a cat person or a dog person? dog person

What is the color of your favorite nail polish? tangerine

What was the last text you sent? "No I haven't. It will. It pains me too."

Do you have any "made up" words or phrases you use in your family? bummies, chubby chubbers, tuper, tootsies, ya-ya

If you could splurge on one fashion item what would it be? a really good pair of skinny jeans

dear landlord,

2012-01-18T17:36:00.000-08:00

dear landlord,

thank you for saving us from the 54 degree meat locker we were living in this morning. you really are a peach. our noses are no longer rudolph red. in case you were worried, i just checked the thermostat, and it's now a reasonable 63 degrees. we can almost walk around barefoot again. and while i am in a thankful mood, i should mention how grateful i am that you replaced the battery in our smoke detector. the only problem...you gave us a dead battery so now i have two options: remove the "new" battery or patiently wait for you to come back to replace it again. i think i am going to remove it and throw it at the wall because the beeping is really getting on my nerves. {pause} i removed it already. and another thing...thank you so much for putting the towel rack on the wall, except i think you may have overshot the original spot by an inch or two or ten. what should i do about the pale yellow stain left from the rack before it fell? oh, just leave it? no problem. i agree...the house is already ghetto enough.

well, you really are swell. but really...thanks for making our heat work. i didn't know if i would survive another frosty night.

take care,

the peanuts

p.s. i just wanted to include a picture of your amazing work so you can pin it to your wall of accomplishments.

peanut wonderings: is there a place you dread going?

2012-01-18T04:49:00.000-08:00

It's a tie. I hate walking over to my kitchen sink. My dishes whisper mean things at me all day for neglecting them so I just avoid it. But I think I equally dread going to this place just as much as I hate my stuffed porcelain sink. See if you can figure out where it is by this short video:

Welcome to my personal purgatory: McDonald's Playland. The last time we visited, we were blessed to witness the following chaos:

the small jungle gym shaking violently

the chicken nugget vomit coating the newly-remodeled tile floor

the vacant eyes of mom's as they scanned their iPhones and avoided watching their kiddos

the incessant shrills of ten-year old boys and girls (aren't they too old for that thing?)

the smell of grease permeating the too-small parent sitting area

the groups of adorable moms I wish I was friends with avoiding eye contact with me

the large amount of food on the ground available to my ten-month old

Walking into any playland just makes me nauseated. I don't know what's worse: the greasy food or the screaming kids, but my stomach knots within seconds of stepping in that place. However, Mya loves it. She can't get enough of it so I take her there so she can be among people and scream with the other children because she knows she is not allowed to scream like that at home.

**I sent this video to a good friend of mine after we got home. She texted me three words back: bathe them well. Don't worry...we did.

fertility issues: babies...and the lack thereof

2012-01-17T06:00:00.000-08:00

Even though I have two little peanuts of my own, the subject of infertility has been weighing heavily on my mind lately. I feel particularly close to this subject because I have so many friends who want to grow their families, and yet they have not been given the opportunity to do so. And when I say I have a lot of friends struggling with this problem, I am talking double digits. And in my little realm, that seems like a lot of people to me.

After we had Mya, I had a series of tests done that revealed that my hormones are a bit out of whack and that I do not ovulate properly. To this day, I am thankful for my honest doctor who looked me straight in the eyes and said, "It's going to be harder to get and stay pregnant the next time around. You should know and prepare for that." And it was. Mya was an absolute miracle baby for us. I still don't understand how she skipped the crazy steps I had to take to have V, but boy am I grateful she came. My doctor was right. It was harder to conceive V. But she came after we handed over lots of cash, time and tears.

You know how people often say, It's hard to explain unless you've gone through it? Well, that's completely true. Wanting a baby and not having one is a heartbreaking experience. It shakes you at your very core. I can't tell you the amount of times I went to the store and bought a pregnancy test without telling Tim only to hope that I would be able to surprise him later. After dozens of failed tests, I decided to forgo that idea. It made the hurt worse. I also can't tell you how many times my doctor and I spoke frankly about the subject and how she listened to me and even hugged me. Yes, I let her hug me because I felt that in some strange way she really understood my situation even though she was unmarried and had never gone through it. I guess I figured we had something in common. She wanted something. So did I. And it hadn't happened yet.

I'd like to say that I grew up during that experience, and perhaps I did. But if I have to go through it again (and I know I will have to go through it again), I wonder if I will remember the lessons I learned.

Lesson 1: I learned a lot about patience. I read and reread these words more than I'd like to recount,

"Patience—the ability to put our desires on hold for a time—is a precious and rare virtue. We want what we want, and we want it now. Therefore, the very idea of patience may seem unpleasant and, at times, bitter. Nevertheless, without patience, we cannot please God; we cannot become perfect. Indeed, patience is a purifying process that refines understanding, deepens happiness, focuses action, and offers hope for peace" (Dieter F. Uchtdorf: Continue in Patience)

Lesson 2: I learned to live in the moment. There were times I wondered if I would ever have the chance to give birth again or give Mya a sibling, but I learned to stop worrying so much about what I could not change and to live in the moment and to love the family I did have. This experience comes to mind when I think about this lesson.

Lesson 3: I learned that ultimately we cannot tell God what we want Him to do, even when we want Him to help us with a good desire. This was the hardest lesson to learn. Do you know how much I hated hearing, "Things will happen when they are supposed to." Still thinking about that phrase makes me growl. Grrr. I think it mostly irritates me because I'd think, "Duh, I know that. I don't need you to tell me that." And if you know me, you know that is exactly what I'd think. But there is truth in that horrible saying. We cannot command God. We just can't. And I'm not an expert on this one so I think I'll just leave it at that.

If you've experienced this or are still experiencing this, what lessons have you learned? Think about it and write them down because I promise you'll want to read them later. What more can I say? Well, I'm sorry. I ache with you and those dang negative pregnancy tests. I don't know why it isn't happening for you right now, but someone does. I know He does. After the miscarriage, I've really taken a step back and have been able to see my life for what it is and what I want it to be. I know I want more kids (at least one more) in the future. We really want a little Timmy running his with rolly legs around these parts, but that will have to wait. My body, my mind and my spirit are not ready to endure that again at this point.

introducing her to my first love

2012-01-16T18:10:00.000-08:00

Today I introduced Mya to my first love--ice skating. I've been secretly counting the days until Mya's little feet would fit perfectly in those brown leather boots. I was hoping she would love it as much as I did as a child. And she did. I can't tell you how many memories I have of ice skating. I ice skated competitively for over ten years. When I think of my childhood, there are few memories that don't include an ice rink of some sort.

Every time I walk into a rink, a flood of feelings attack me and I nearly always tear up remembering how much I loved the ice. I loved the smell of the ice. I loved the way it felt on my blades as I glided forward and backward. I loved how my lungs felt open and clear as I breathed in the chilled air. I loved the smell of sweat that accompanied a hard day on the ice. I loved lacing up my boots and wiping the ice from my blades.

Today those nostalgic feelings almost choked me as I helped Mya lace up her own boots. As I dressed her in her hat and gloves, I couldn't help but pull her close to me. The more I pulled her close, the more she struggled free. She just wanted to get on the ice. Just like her mama. She has no fear. I quickly found a locker for our things but was too slow to see her initial reaction to the ice. When I reached the opening, she was already scooting the ice between her skates as she clung to the wall.

The newly-minted memory lasted 35 minutes. She fell over and over but never lost the smile. I carried her and we skated around the rink several times letting the air blow through our hair. As we exited the rink, she looked at me and said, "Mom, I was brave, huh?" Yes...baby...you were. You were a dream.

monday morning chatter

2012-01-16T05:20:00.000-08:00

{An oldie I came across that just made me smile...circa summer 2007}

I'm loving this holiday weekend. Are you? I've basically been hiding under my large plush blanket since Friday afternoon, and I don't think that is going to stop today. The snow has ceased, but the wind has picked up and chills me to the bone every time I step out my front door. Spending so much time in bed under my blanket has given me plenty of time to read, think and be still. All things I desperately needed to do for a few days.

I have quickly come to realize how much life consumes us. It can swallow us whole if we let it. Being still was the only remedy I knew of to help me step back and slow down a bit. I listened to the wind beat on this old, rickety house as I read my books. I watched the clouds turn from white to gray to pink to purple as I listened to peaceful music lull me to sleep. And I listened to the deep breaths of my children sleep as I stood patiently at their doors during naptime. It has been the perfect, tranquil weekend.

I can't believe our time in Peoria may soon come to a close; we find out our future destination in March. I remember the way my stomach dropped when we drove up to this lifeless house nearly seven months ago. I scowled at every crooked blind, poorly painted wall and peeling linoleum tile. In my mind, this house would never be home. But you know what? I was wrong. It is very much our home. I know every sound this house makes. I know how to get from my bedroom to the kitchen without opening my eyes at 3am. I know how to avoid scratching my arm on the bent hanger attempting to hold up the shelf in our freezer. I know how to shut V's door just right so it doesn't squeak and wake her up each night. This house has somehow changed me. And even though I have no desire to live here another year, I am so glad we can call it home for now.

Our time in Peoria has been very special for me and Tim. I don't think I have ever loved him as much I have come to love him here. There is something sweet about seeing the man you married and the father of your children sacrifice his time and energy to make you comfortable. Tim does that everyday, and I love him for it.

Well, enough of this sentimental blah, blah stuff. I don't mean to talk about leaving so soon, but I have had so much time to think this weekend. And this is what I have been thinking about. Well, this and my Monday chatter. Happy Martin Luther King Day!

A "chillingly scientific" pianist dies at 82: Alexis Weissenberg

You can decide for yourself if the obituary theory is true: Weissenberg archive
I think we all need to remember why we celebrate today: Martin Luther King
Some say these are the jeans to own. Someone please give me courage to buy a pair: Red skinnies
A dress fit for spring: Sunrise Cove Sleeveless Dress
A craft for Valentine's day: Sweet Gnome
Some noteworthy hair tips from the gorgeous Mrs. Yazzie: Tame you hair
People in Peoria rave about this place for breakfast...might give it a try: Le Peep
I used to listen to this song in the dark as I rested on the floor: My Immortal

oh ob...

2012-01-13T13:21:00.000-08:00

I had my yearly women's exam this afternoon. Probably my most hated appointment all year. I've even changed it so many times that I knew I couldn't avoid it this time. The good part: the appointment lasted less than 5 minutes and cost me $0. The bad part: the awkward conversation during the quick check and the strange goodbye my doctor gave me as I left, "It was really great to see you again."

Really doc...was it great? Was it? Ugh. Until next year.

food friday: baked penne and sausage supper

2012-01-13T07:00:00.000-08:00

This meal was so good. I mean restaurant good. I wish I would've had time to make some french bread to go along with it. I am positive I will make this dish again. I adapted this recipe from The America's Test Kitchen Healthy Family Cookbook.

Baked Penne and Sausage Supper
1 14.5 ounce can diced tomatoes
1 1/2 tsp. olive oil
1 onion, halved and sliced thin
1 red bell pepper, stemmed, seeded and cut into matchstick pieces
3 garlic cloves
1/8 tsp. red pepper flakes
8 ounces hot or sweet Italian turkey sausage, removed from its casing
Salt and pepper
8 ounces penne
1 cup shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese
1/2 cup shredded Parmesan cheese

Lightly coat an 8x8 inch baking dish with vegetable oil spray and set aside. Pulse the tomatoes with their juice in blender or food processor until mostly smooth (about 5 pulses). Heat oil in skillet and add the onion and bell pepper and cook until softened, about 5 minutes. Stir in garlic and red pepper flakes and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Stir in the sausage and cook until no longer pink, about 5 minutes. Stir in the processed tomatoes. Bring to a simmer and cook, until slightly thickened, 6-8 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Meanwhile, bring a pot of water to a boil. Add the pasta and a 1 tablespoon of salt, stirring often until almost al dente but still firm to bite. Reserve 1/4 c. of the cooking water and drain the rest of the water. Add the meat sauce and reserved cooking water to the pasta mixture in the baking dish and sprinkle with 1/2 c. mozzarella and 1/4 c. parmesan cheese. Repeat with the remain pasta and cheese. Bake at 425 until the sauce is bubbling and the cheese is lightly browned, about 15 minutes. Let cool for 5 minutes before serving.

About 380 calories and 13 g. fat

today

2012-01-12T08:46:00.000-08:00

today is one of those days where i just wish it was already nighttime (it's only 10:11am) and that i could be cuddled in bed next to tim reading the next chapter in this month's novel. but alas, it's not. we're still two hours away from lunch/nap time. i don't think the alka-seltzer has quite worn off yet so my brain feels a little numb. i guess the freezing cold weather might also contribute to the numbness, but who knows? i thought i had a doctor's appointment this morning. i assumed i was totally ahead of the game by finding a sitter and driving tim to work in the small blizzard this morning so i would have the car. it took me nearly two hours to get home in the falling snow and ice after dropping tim off at work. a commute that usually takes 17 minutes. both girls were in tears and screaming uncontrollably. all the while i was just trying to maintain my best defensive driving skills. once we pulled into the driveway, i ran the kids inside and found a quiet haven in my dark bathroom where i did a few yoga deep breaths to calm my tense chest. little did i know that the doctor's office was calling my cell to confirm my appointment for tomorrow while i was taking a few minutes to myself. as i listened to the message, i just thought "you've gotta be kidding me." grrr. all this planning and i planned it for the wrong day.

is there a bright side, you ask? well, yes. i have learned there is always silver lining to every situation. sometimes you just have to dig to find it. i didn't have to dig too far because i called my friend/sitter and explained my error and she graciously accepted my plea to watch my girls tomorrow. thank you...thank you...thank you. tim called to make sure i made it home okay and i told him how about how i messed up, and instead of being frustrated with me, he just laughed and said everything would work out fine. my girls stopped crying the moment they saw me pouring their favorite cereal in bowls. they have already learned the definition of "comfort food." and me--well, my chest is no longer tight. i thought i was going to have a heart attack. illinois drivers make utah drivers look amazing when driving in snow.

i am grateful for a lot of things this morning: that i am alive, that my car is not smashed into another car or a freeway wall (i counted 16 accidents in the 15 mile commute), that my girls are no longer crying, that v is taking a good morning nap, that my friend didn't mind switching days, that i have plenty of hot chocolate stocking my shelves for this cold wintery day, that mya and i played dress up and i still fit into a dress (see above) my mom made for me when i was 13 (minus the chest...i am slightly larger than i was then and i mean that in the most literal sense), that we have a new can of reduced fat sour cream and onion pringles to snack on today as we watch the snow fall, and i am definitely grateful that my heat works.

today is a silver lining kind of day. i know it's going to be a mess on the freeway when i pick up tim so i only hope that the next few hours give me the rest and patience i'll need for the extended commute.

good bed

2012-01-11T16:09:00.000-08:00

"You're a really good bed mama," the princess said as she climbed on her mama's lap to watch Little Einsteins. Glad to oblige...my girl.

peanut wonderings: can you spot the HUGE error?

2012-01-11T05:32:00.000-08:00

So in an effort to make my February Crush Project work, I started emailing some of my favorite bloggers/readers last night. I probably should've waited until this morning because I wasn't feeling too hot last night and had just taken a heavy dose of Alka-seltzer before sitting down at the computer. I sent this email to one blogger. See if you can spot the mistake:

"I was wondering if you would like to be a guest blogger on my blog A handful of peanuts... in the month of February. I am contacting some of my favorite bloggers and asking them to send me a picture of me and their spouse and answer one of the following questions:"

Did you see it? Did you gasp out loud when you read it? Or did you miss it like I did when I did a quick review of the email before sending it? Let me narrow it in a little for those of you who missed it.

"I am contacting some of my favorite bloggers and asking them to send me a picture of me and their spouse and answer one of the following questions:"

Ummm. No. That is obviously wrong. I do not want people to send me a picture of me and their husband. Oops. I sent a correction email but doubt they will participate because they probably think I am insane. And perhaps I am.

The February Crush Project

2012-01-10T06:00:00.000-08:00

For the month of February, I would like to feature pictures of some of my favorite readers/fellow bloggers and their crushes. I will be contacting some readers/bloggers, but I want everyone to participate. Please send me a picture of you with that special someone and an answer to one of the questions below to ahandfulofpeanuts{at}gmail{dot}com before January 31, 2011. I can't wait to share a piece of your love story along with pieces of my own next month.

Crush questions
How did you meet?

What did you think of him/her on your first date?

What do you remember about the first kiss?
What has been your best date?
What has been your worst date?

Do you remember the first awkward moment between you two?

Do you still have his first love note? What did it say?

How did you know you were in love?

How did he ask you to marry him? Or how did she react to your proposal?

What is your favorite memory of your wedding day?

What is your favorite moment of the honeymoon?

What was your first gift to him/her?

Do you remember the reason behind your first fight? How did you make up?

What is your preferred way to flirt as a married couple?

Do you have a special pet name for your crush?

How do you keep the flame alive after months or years of marriage?

anger

2012-01-09T20:19:00.000-08:00

Sorry to post again tonight, but I had to express how I angry I am at the current moment at my team. I guess they decided not to show up. Grrr. And I am not happy about it. Another lame title game.

camping in the winter

2012-01-09T18:13:00.000-08:00

Who says you can't camp in the winter?

My little peanut has never actually been camping. The closest she has ever gotten to the great outdoors is when Tim and I set up the tent in our backyard over two years ago. Doubt she remembers that. However, she is obsessed with tents and camping.

She's been begging to go camping and since the temperatures are near freezing at night, we decided to set the tent up inside in our living room. She is enamored with the thing. She eats every meal she can inside it and asks me to play in her "castle tent" all day long. Who needs personal style when you have a tent in your house?

monday morning chatter

2012-01-09T06:00:00.000-08:00

Morning. I trust you had a relaxing weekend. If not, plan one for this next weekend. You won't regret it. The best part of my weekend...you wonder? Definitely the $8 cheap date Tim treated me to on Friday. We swapped babysitting with another couple, used a gift card for dinner and walked around the newly opened Bass Pro Shop for entertainment. Let me tell you...you see all kinds in that store. I'm sure people thought the same of us since we were among the minority not dressed in camouflage or sporting an outdated hair style.

Reasons to locate the nearest Bass Pro Shop in your city:

the man with two dragons tattooed on his neck with his special someone's name etched in between

a frighteningly large cat fish with massive teeth

a camouflage couch for sale (it was really comfortable...bring a blanket and take a nap)

the chicken sopping sauce that looked a little too tempting

the woman with the killer mullet

every man's dream giftcard on display

mr. grizzly teaching his boy to hunt at an early age

where man can face his true enemy--the bear

the woman with the poofy half ponytail and bad posture selling gun safes

the man of your dreams holding a large gun and looking sexy doing so

a girl who has obviously never held a gun before

the nice man with hair dangling from his weather-worn ball cap

Do you need more convincing to check it out? Well, let's see how I can bait you to the store. They have an awesome "Shootin Range" that allows anyone to handle heavy machinery. What man wouldn't love that? Each section of the store has its own scent. I found that a little strange and wonderful at the same time. The women's section of the store actually had a few items I would be interested in purchasing such as a long pea coat and some hiking pants. And well, I think you would just laugh a lot. What more do you really need? I dare say not much.

Well, enough with the promotional gig and on to way more important things. Here's my Monday chatter, enjoy:

A man who helped bridge a gap between two religions dies at 90: Jerzy Kluger

A friend sent me a link to this funny article about Twilight: If famous writers had written twilight

The bedding that I am secretly hoping Tim is stashing under the bed for Christmas: Catalina Duvet

The dress that makes me wish I owned a horse: Aquamarine Satin Dress

A Bass Pro Shop inspired comedic spotlight: Camping

For those of you like me who don't yet own a sewing machine, here's an easy craft: Sock craft

The restaurant that is greatly missed in Peoria by two hungry breakfast eaters: The Original Pancake House

A blog post that just made me think a lot last week: In with the new

This girl has incredible musical talent, and I think you should know her: Scarlett Rabe--Hold me

lovely saturdays

2012-01-07T14:02:00.000-08:00

Saturdays are specials days because Tim is home with us. Boy, do we love and need that. The girls hopped in our bed this morning around 6:30, and we just wrestled and played until our stomachs decided we needed breakfast. The day has flown by too quickly. At least we are getting custard for dinner. Something to look forward to.

food friday: curried chicken

2012-01-06T12:00:00.000-08:00

2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1-inch pieces
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 tsp. curry powder
1 tsp. kosher salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
1 c. chicken broth
1 heaping c. thinly sliced celery
1 heaping c. coarsely chopped apple (I used a little more than 1 large apple)
1 tbsp. cornstarch
2 c. hot cooked rice
Optional: chutney (i don't know what that is), raisins, coconut, peanuts

Rinse, dry and cut chicken into 1-inch pieces. In a large pan, heat oil over medium-high heat. Add curry powder; cook and stir for about 30 seconds. Add chicken, salt and pepper; cook and stir until chicken is brown. Slowly add broth, celery, onion and I added another 1/8 tsp. of pepper. Bring to a boil; reduce heat. Cover and simmer for 15 minutes. Add apple. Cover and cook for another 5 minutes. Combine cornstarch and 1/4 c. really cold water; add to pan. Cook and stir until thick and bubbly. Cook for 2 minutes more. Serve with rice and optional condiments. We only had peanuts so that's all we added. (I would also add a little more salt to the finished product, but that's just me.)

Nutritional Value: About 280 calories and 7 g. total fat

warmth without sunshine

2012-01-06T05:36:00.000-08:00

Have you heard of The Shine Project? The creator is pretty sensational, and she is really sparking a fire inside me to serve others. Each week she gives her readers a weekly challenge. This week's challenge: If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be? This challenge inspired a lot of my writing this week...if you couldn't tell.

So what would I change? I would change the fact that every time I go downtown or visit Chicago, I see people curled up in corners in search of warmth. I really dislike being cold, and I hate knowing people suffer from the chilly winter air without coats, hats and gloves, especially when those people are children. It breaks my heart. So I want to give warmth to children who probably don't see a lot of real "sunshine" in their lives. I've already requested help with crocheting instructions and hope to make beanies to donate to shelters around the area. I doubt they'll be as cute as the one baby Mya's wearing above, but I promise they'll be warm. And that's all that matters.

What would you change?

our little mama walks

2012-01-05T20:36:00.000-08:00

because you love them...

2012-01-05T20:04:00.000-08:00

because you love them, and because i love you...here are my favorite pictures of the girls this week.

has it been unseasonably warm anywhere else the past few days? we reached the beloved 60 degree mark today, and i just threw on my running shoes and took a stroll with my non-napped, cranky children. i had to coax mya outside with tortilla chips. does that concern anyone but me? she didn't want to go outside. you can see from v's face before the walk and from mya's lack of enthusiasm that we have been stuck indoors far too much this winter. the walk was perfect. both peanuts cooperated...meaning neither one screamed to go home but rather sat gawking at the brown scenery. at one point mya asked, "mom, did we walk to arizona? why is everything so brown here?" i laughed right out loud. she's a smart one.

time budget

2012-01-04T19:12:00.000-08:00

via

In this house, we live and die by our budget. I know it will not always be this way, but it is for now. If we are following our money closely, I breathe and sleep easier. If we choose to be a little wild and crazy with our purchases, I lie awake worrying at night. Does that happen to anyone else? Maybe it's just me.

Last night after doing what seemed like an unimaginable amount of squats (realistically it may have been 20) during our nightly workout, I started thinking about something the instructor always repeats, "Quality over quantity people...quality over quantity." He says it in a way that just makes you want to reach through the television and slap him, but when you really start thinking about what he is saying--he's teaching a major life lesson. Quality over quantity. This thought kept nagging me as I struggled to sleep last night because I started thinking about how I constantly lie awake at night fretting about money, but how I hardly ever make myself accountable for what I do with my time all day.

I knew immediately that I had to make myself a time budget and hold myself accountable for my daily actions. Because I am trying to grow and develop some pressing interests, losing track of time and what is really important is often a slippery slope. Black and white must-do activities turn to gray maybe-i'll-do-them-if-i-have-time activities. I started my time budget just as I do with my money budget--I planned the absolute activities such as praying, eating, showering, brushing teeth, playing with the peanuts, reading good books, cleaning, cooking, exercising, etc. Then I gave myself some wiggle room for error just as I do with my bills. Then I add in the hopeful activities such as napping, blogging, catching up with friends, watching Sex in the City. I set limits and put the rough outline next to my bed.

It's a good standard that I know I can judge my days by; however, I have learned to be flexible because life never really goes as planned. Today, Mya fell while running on the sidewalk and skinned her knee and hand. She was devastated and just wanted to cuddle up with me and her "bambaid" while we watched a show. The dishes didn't get done. The dinner preparation was pushed back. And naps were delayed. But you know what? It doesn't really matter. I put her first. She is what matters.

It is important to focus on quality over quantity. When I worked full-time, I saw my girls all of about 2-3 hours each night, but I made that short time count. I got down on their level and played with them. Everything else took a back seat (which usually accounted for our cluttered house). But the cleaning eventually got done. It always does. It was all about quality since I didn't have quantity. Now I see my girls all day every day so I have lots of quantity, but if I just sit at the computer typing or stay in the kitchen cleaning...what good does that do me? I'd lose the quality. So whether you are a full-time mom or you work full-time and parent part-time or you don't have kids at home and have lots of down time, find a balance in your life. Make a time budget. I bet you'll get a lot more done in a day.

What are your thoughts?

peanut wonderings: books

2012-01-04T06:25:00.000-08:00

Do readers find their books or do books find their readers?

On a different note: Some street art I found in Normal, Illinois was featured on this blog: The Infinite Madness

loving someone very different than you

2012-01-03T13:01:00.000-08:00

I once wrote a post about loving someone just like you. I remember writing it with tears in my eyes as I expressed my struggles with raising Mya because she was and still is a lot like me. I was pondering this post as I shampooed my hair this mid-morning, and it occurred to me that it is equally as important if not more important to love someone that is very different than you. I don't know why it's taken me so long to follow up on my initial post. I guess we realize things little by little.

Just today, writers of the Chicago Tribune released the following statements: "Man, 27, killed in Austin shooting," "Man critically wounded in South Side shooting" and "Cold snap doesn't stop violence: 2 dead, at least 3 wounded." So much violence. So much hatred. So much misunderstanding. People are no longer trying to understand one another. I would bet that miscommunication and a lack of knowledge are at the deepest root of many conflicts our world faces today. If only we could see beyond the age difference, the educational background, the skin color, the sexual preference, the poverty level, the language barrier and the religious beliefs of someone else and see people for who they really are. Each one is a person. And probably an important person to at least one other person. He/she could be a mother or a father. A daughter. A son. A brother. A sister. A friend. An athlete. A blue-collar worker. A student. A newlywed. A colleague. A pen pal. You get the picture: we are all valued in someone's eyes.

In my twenty-eight short years, I have come to love so many people who are very different than me. I love a logical engineer, a hardworking single mom, an atheist, a list maker, a natural born mom, a person who struggles with short-term memory loss, a gay fashionisto (as he calls it), an organized actress, a perfectionist to the core, a farmer at heart, a successful business woman, a settled social worker. However I, myself, am not logical. I should be the definition for emotional. I am happily married with two little peanuts, but motherhood has not been a natural transition. I believe in God with all my heart. I despise lists and try to avoid writing them. I have a decent memory of recent years but am vague on my younger years. I am straight and have to lean on others for fashion sense. I am not organized (you should see my house). I used to be a perfectionist but now try to do the very best I can with what I have. I have not and do not wish to ever live on the farm unless there is a wrap around porch with a swing like in the movies. I am no longer a successful business woman since I live in my pajamas. And I am a vagabond through and through. I love to move and be new places. See...I am as different as can be from some of my closest friends and confidants. But I love them, and I know they love me.

While I did experience an instant "click" with some, it hasn't always been the easiest choice to love someone that doesn't look the way I do, eat the way I do, act the way I do or believe what I do. I've often had to jump over big hurdles to get to the other side. However, overcoming the hurdles that limited my initial view into a friend's soul has helped me really see who he/she is and who he/she can become.

When mulling over this topic, I am reminded of a conversation I had with my brother nearly six months ago when he came in town to visit. We had just spent a few emotionally charged days in Chicago and Peoria and were headed to the St. Louis airport so he could catch his plane to Dallas. We began a rather heated discussion about our different beliefs on our three hour commute. As children, my brother and I were raised by the same parents who provided us with nearly the same education (more or less), but as adults we live very different lives. I am fairly conservative while he would be viewed as rather liberal. I am Mormon and my faith runs deep when it comes to doctrine. My brother is gay and trying to find a church that allows him to be himself while still reverencing Jesus. Believing what I do has been a large speedbump when understanding my brother, but because I adore him, I want to comprehend him and support who he is. In our discussion, we talked about the purpose of life and the reason for religion. I believe there is a purpose to life that helps us back to God. He thinks we are on the earth to become good people but is iffy in regards to an afterlife. I need a religion. I try to live by the commandments outlined by the church. He feels people's view on religion often restrict them from living the way they want. Stubborn as we both are, we would not budge on our views. By the time we finally reached the airport, we eventually understood each other and agreed to disagree. We are as opposite as two siblings can be in that aspect, but love has bridged our differences.

In the end, people are diverse. Most of the time you can't change them and they can't change you. But there is beauty in seeing beyond the differences. There are no limits with friendship when you can really see who a person can become and that you could help them in the process.

just want to remember

2012-01-03T11:32:00.000-08:00

just want to remember that this girl has to run her fingers through her hair until she falls asleep...that and she has to be rocked to sleep still at ten months. my arms are beginning to bulk up from lulling this one to her dreamworld.

monday morning chatter

2012-01-02T07:33:00.000-08:00

Oh gosh...I can't believe it's already time to wake up. The little peanuts had a really rough night last night which meant I hardly slept a wink. I swear V cried for close to three and a half hours last night and anytime I attempted to put her back in her crib, she would squirm and squeal like a little piggy. Her screams woke Mya up multiple times. Let's just say...I never found my perfect REM cycle. Tim isn't feeling well this morning so I am trying to peel my eyes open to stay awake while he naps. Wish me luck.

Yesterday, Mya graduated to a big girl class at church. Doesn't she look so grown up? No more nursery for that feisty peanut. Being in a "big kid" class means no more toys and no more treats. I was really worried she wouldn't like the change, and I was right. Tears streamed down those chunky cheeks for the first hour. She kept peeking around her seat to look at me, and it just broke my heart. I wanted to run to over and scoop her up, but I knew that would only cause more problems so I forced myself into statue-mode and pretended not to see her tears. Bad mom of the year award goes to....me. Her new teacher reassured me that she did much better during the second hour.

V also had a monumental day yesterday. She took 13 steps all by herself. We've been working with her for the past week and on average she takes 3-5 steps, but 13? We were so impressed. We all looked on cheering her every step. Too bad we weren't quick enough with the camera. Maybe next time.

Even though I am exhausted and totally worn out because of my hard night, I can't help smiling at my two peanuts this morning. I am so proud of them. They, with help from their incredibly handsome dad, really make this life worth living. I hope you have a sensational week.

my chatter:

This modern ceramic artist lived to be 105...I hope I don't live that long: Eva Zeisel

A special reader emailed me a link to this author's website. I've read his book but didn't know about his site. I love this article: What makes certain people special

My brother introduced me to this designer--I want this dress: sinclair dress

The sweater I bought for Tim because he looked so dang good in it: Teal Sky V-Neck Sweater
An adorable quadropus craft for the peanuts: Quadropus
A spendy restaurant on the hill that I hope to try before we leave this place: June
A fun, hip way to decorate your wall: A Beautiful Mess
A song I love to remember: Iris

To dine and dance

2012-01-01T12:43:00.000-08:00

Last night we created a kitchen masterpiece that killed our P90X diet, but man...was it ever tasty. All four of us (yes, V included) dined on t-bone steaks, a homemade chimichurri sauce and baked potatoes. You know you've eaten a real "man" meal when you finish eating only to find pieces of meat wedged between your teeth. We all needed a good flossing after the dish. After dinner and a fantastic flossing job, we changed our clothes and spiced up our hair and makeup so we could hurry back to our happening dance party. Dance party for four...yes, please. We twirled and dipped and lunged into the new year!

pillow talk

2011-12-31T14:35:00.000-08:00

Me: I'm really excited. I have a surprise for you.
Tim: Really? What is it?
Me: I'm not going to tell you, but if you guess...I will tell you.
Tim: Is it something that's going to happen in the next few minutes? (cheesy look)
Me: No.
Tim: Dang. Did you find a babysitter for tomorrow?
Me: No. I didn't think there was enough time to find someone on such late notice.
Tim: Bummer. I have no idea.
Me: Come on...guess.
Tim: Sex?
Me: You already asked--No.
Tim: When will I get the surprise?
Me: Soon.
Tim: One month?
Me: No.
Tim: Two weeks?
Me: Uh-uh.
Tim: One week?
Me: Hopefully...
Tim: Food?
Me: No.
Tim: Movies?
Me: Boobies? Did you say boobies?
Tim: No. I said movies. (snicker)
Me: Oh, no.
Tim: And it's not sex?
Me: No. Silly bum--a week until sex would be a long time.
Tim: True. Hmmm. Clothes?
Me: Maybe.
Tim: Does it have to do with a package?
Me: Perhaps.
Tim: A package from Banana?
Me: Yep.
Tim: Could it be a teal sweater?
Me: Yep. You just looked so good in it, and I felt bad that the one I bought you on Christmas didn't fit so I bought one today.

This conversation may or may not have happened two nights ago when we waited for sleep to overtake our tired eyes. I happen to crave our pillow talk. We laugh the most when we are all snuggled under our covers and surrounded by darkness. Does anyone else have funny pillow talk?

groovy

2011-12-31T05:28:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year! I hope you have a groovy night.

I'm not really brokenhearted about saying goodbye to 2011. Although it was a really good year because we welcomed a new little peanut into our home and graduated from our Provo station, 2011 gave us our fair share of struggles. I am really anxious for 2012; I just have a hunch that good things are going to come our way. I feel hopeful as I think of some of the goals I set for myself and for our family.

Some of my 2012 resolutions (You don't really think I would tell you all of them. A girl has to have a few secrets):

floss at least three times a week
wear makeup at least four times a week
follow a meal plan
exercise at least four times a week
kiss Tim a lot
make a new friend, hopefully more
sew at least one thing
begin piano lessons
find blog sponsors
figure out how to really use my camera
read 15 new books
take a college class
finish my parents' biography
start my memoir outline
stick to my budget
find some fashion sense

no fancy schmancy names needed

2011-12-31T05:27:00.001-08:00

Most of my favorite blog authors have endearing nicknames for their husbands, and rarely do they refer to them by their real names. See that man right there...that's Tim. He doesn't need a fancy schmancy blog name. I do have one very special nickname for him, but I don't really want anyone else to use it when referring to him so I will keep that one a secret. I tried to think of a fun name to call him on the blog, but I'd just rather call him Tim. It's more me, and I guess it sort of breaks the normal blog lingo.

Tim is the family favorite in this house. He is the apple of my eye. He stole my heart over five years ago and still makes me weak in the knees when he's all dressed up in his button down shirt or when he wears that silly ball cap. He is also the preferred parent. I don't really mind. I know my peanuts love me, but boy do they ADORE their daddy. The other day V woke up from her nap and hugged him so tight. She wouldn't let go of his over-sized sweatshirt. Mya waits for Tim, usually known as Prince Phillip, to come home from work so he can twirl with her in the living room.

I guess that's what happens when you are the only male in a female-dominated household. We hope to one day bring another little Timmy into our house, but until then...Tim will always steal the show.

reasonable

2011-12-29T21:17:00.000-08:00

We're reasonable, right? Tim and I made this list this afternoon while the girls were napping. We had just completed our budget and sighed as we realized that we would again just break even after paying all our bills. Ugh. We can dream, right? Tim said this list should be our 2012 resolution list. I laughed and silently agreed. Tim does not like to make resolutions. He ridicules me for making mine each year because he says we always find my list about mid-July and realize I've only accomplished one or two things. Oh well. I'm still going to make them. I have a feeling 2012 is going to be a good year.

lazy

2011-12-29T13:03:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you just need to be lazy. We've been enjoying our lackadaisical days with Tim home. While most people would relish the thought of having a week off to see new places, we've barely left the house. It's even better than I imagined it could be.

peanut wonderings: did you like it or hate it?

2011-12-28T07:15:00.000-08:00

So I barely finished my twelve days of Christmas baking on time. Baking that many treats in not very many days just about killed me and my tummy. At one point I turned to Tim and asked, "What would you do with a wife that didn't know how to cook and bake?" We both laughed and agreed: He'd be really skinny. I guess weight is just something we are always going to have to battle since I will not stop cooking or baking.

So here's my question to you: Did you like when I posted the recipes or did you hate it? I flip flopped depending on the day and my mood. Quite frankly, I think that Julie girl who decided to create all of Julia Child's recipes in a year was out of her mind because from my experience...cooking the food, photographing the finished product and writing about the experience was a lot of work. I can't imagine doing it for an entire cookbook. Twelve days was challenging enough. However, I am willing to post a recipe of mine once a week if you liked the project. If too many people disliked it, than I will scrap the idea entirely.

So please share your opinion with me. It won't hurt my feelings either way.

And for good measure, I thought I would share my Christmas Hash recipe with you. I modified this from a recipe I found on The Pioneer Woman's website a few years back. Here's her original recipe. It might give you an idea of what to do with all that extra ham sitting in your fridge.

My Christmas Hash
Non-stick cooking spray
3-4 c. frozen hash browns
1-1 1/2 c. diced ham
1 diced green bell pepper
1 diced red bell pepper
1 medium onion, diced
1 jalepeno, seeded and diced
2 Tbsp. butter
3/4 c. grated cheese
3-4 eggs
salt and pepper to taste

(I use my cast iron skillet for this recipe because you stick the whole pan in the oven at the end, but if you don't have one, just use a normal frying pan and layer the ingredients in a baking dish at the end.)

Using the cooking spray, fry the hash browns. Salt and pepper to taste. Once cooked, transfer the hash browns to a plate. Melt butter in the skillet and add ham, bell peppers and jalepeno. Cook for 4-5 minutes until vegetables are soft. Transfer vegetable and ham mixture to plate. Return potatoes to pan as the bottom layer. Add vegetable and ham mixture on top as the second layer. Salt and pepper a little. Spread cheese over top. Put in the oven at 350 for 15 minutes. While the pan is in the oven, cook your eggs however you like them. I like them scrambled; Tim loves them over-easy. Remove pan from oven and top the hash with your eggs. Tim always adds salsa to his meal. I do not like salsa with breakfast foods so I skip that step. Eat up. You'll love it.

are we human or are we dancer?

2011-12-28T06:12:00.000-08:00

I happen to love this song by The Killers. It just makes me want to dance...and sometimes I do when I'm alone in the kitchen. I was lucky enough to sneak a video of my two favorite dancers a few days ago. I am quite in love with them.

...but i have two brothers

2011-12-27T11:02:00.000-08:00

See that boy...Mya has a major crush on him. Tim taught her to say, "I'm crushing on you Crew." As a mom, he's everything I hope for in a son-in-law. I know...whoa, whoa...hold up a second. I'm not already planning their wedding, but I secretly wish I was. Crew is quite the ladies man. Girls seem to swoon at his four-year old stature the moment he walks in the room. Yes, he's quite adorable, but he's also kind and considerate. He has amazing manners as do his brothers. When he's at our house, he entertains V for several minutes while patiently waiting on Mya to change from one princess dress to another. When Mya comes out with a new outfit, he always smiles and says whatever she tells him to say. Perfection in a four year old.

The other day he was telling his parents that he has two girlfriends: Chloe and Mya. They listened to him explain all the reasons why he had two girlfriends, and they replied, "You can't have two girlfriends. It's not right." To which he smartly answered, "But I have two brothers?!!"

Cross your fingers that their paths will cross again in about 18 years. I'm already crossing mine.

Christmas morning

2011-12-26T18:50:00.000-08:00

This is what Christmas morning looked like at our house. Mya opened all the presents and V ate all the wrapping paper. A perfect combination. What did your day look like?

monday morning chatter

2011-12-26T07:43:00.000-08:00

We had a cozy little weekend over here in Peoria. I hope you did too. I've loved this Christmas season. I confess I am a little nervous to take down the tree and put away the decorations because I don't know how I will get Mya to do anything anymore. It was so easy to say, "If you don't do this or you aren't nice to your sister, Santa can't bring us any presents." Here's hoping she just decides to be obedient next year.

Tim has the entire week off. Can you believe it? It's a dream. We slept in until 7:30 this morning. That almost never happens. We don't have the funds to visit family so we decided to stay local during his little vacation. Sometimes the best vacations happen at home. You can bet that I am already planning a romantic night in for New Year's Eve. We'll put the kids to bed as usual and just spend some much needed alone time together as we watch the ever ailing Dick Clark and sip sparkling cider. Well, I hope you had the happiest of holidays and that you are avoiding the crazy return lines on this day after Christmas. Happy Monday. Take a look at the crazy chatter in my head today:

This week's special obituary spotlight: Doe Avedon, a modest actress

A simple punctuation lesson by a favorite author: Lynne Truss, author of Eats, Shoots and Leaves

The scarf I want wrapped around my neck: Cozy cable scarf

The quaint hot dog joint I can't wait to visit this week: Windy City Wieners

A few holiday hair tutorials that might inspire magic for your New Year's Eve: A Cup of Jo

A New Year's Eve craft to entertain the kiddos: Sparkly Foam Sequin Ball

A "how to make new year's resolutions" guide: New Year's resolutions

This year's last Christmas song: O Holy Night

my gift

2011-12-25T18:23:00.000-08:00

I loved the simplicity of our day today. While the rest of the world probably stayed up way too late last night wrapping presents and stressing about their Christmas day plans, Tim and I went to bed on time without a care in the world. I woke up this morning a little before seven to make the coffee cake. Mya woke soon after, and we both ran to wake Tim from his sleepy slumber. We grabbed V from her crib, put the cake in the oven and let Mya open all the presents.

Like every prior Christmas, we tried to be very thoughtful with our gifts focusing on our needs rather than our wants. Tim bought me slippers, a vegetable scrubber, a couple of books, two boxes of multi-grain cheerios (he knows they are my favorite) and some trinkets for my stocking. I gifted him with a yoga mat, a water bottle, a picture frame for his desk at work and a couple of sweaters to keep him warm while he stands outside talking to me during his lunch hour. The girls would've been happy with just candy canes and wrapping paper but were blessed by family to receive a princess castle, books, princess dresses and ornaments. Simple, yet perfect.

As I put all the gifts in their proper place this afternoon, I started thinking about what I could give Jesus this year since we are celebrating His birthday. Last year, I promised to give Him time. I wrote in my journal, "To you, my dearest and closest friend, I will give time. At least 10-15 minutes of uninterrupted time each day." I didn't really want to define how I would give my time to Him each day because I knew there would be days I would forget to pray and read my scriptures (and there were days), but I wanted to at least give myself a goal. In retrospect, I have been true to my gift. And I am grateful for those few quiet moments I spent with Him each day.

This year, I will give Him the gift of service. I believe I can serve Him a little each day by serving those around me a little better. I just finished reading the Book of Mormon (more on this another day), and I came across this scripture: "For behold, if a man being evil giveth a gift, he doeth it grudgingly; wherefore it is counted unto him the same as if he had retained the gift" (Moroni: 7:8). There are times when I sigh with frustration because my kids interrupt "my" time or because I have to start dinner and all I want to do is stay wrapped in my blankets or because I know I should clean the house but decide to blog instead. So my gift to Jesus this year is to do service with a smile and a good attitude. I've been doing much better at it lately, so I'll count the last month as a practice round and will really focus on doing this daily next year.

What will your gift be?

twelve days of christmas baking: day twelve

2011-12-25T17:55:00.000-08:00

I wanted to teach Mya the real reason we celebrate Christmas. I know I only have a few precious years before she thinks more about Santa than Jesus so I decided to start a new tradition this year. We will always make a birthday cupcake/cake for Jesus. We will light candles and blow them out in honor of him. This year we made vanilla cupcakes with buttercream icing. Tim frosted them for me and decorated each one with a special star, since that is my favorite part of the Christmas story. The kids loved blowing out the candles and singing to Jesus.

Day Twelve: Vanilla Cupcakes with buttercream frosting

3/4 c. butter
1 3/4 c. sugar
2 large eggs
3 tsp. vanilla
1/2 tsp. salt
2 1/2 tsp. baking powder
2 1/2 c. flour
1 1/4 c. milk

Cream butter and sugar. Add eggs, vanilla, salt and baking powder. Alternate adding flour and milk into batter. Stir until batter is smooth.

Fill paper-lined muffin tray (makes 18-24) and bake at 375 for 18-20 minutes. (I tried to make these in Arizona and they fell a little flat so be mindful if you need to add a little extra flour depending on the altitude.)

Buttercream Frosting
I've tried a handful of buttercream frosting recipes. This is the best one. I loved it. I would've licked the bowl if I wasn't watching my figure. Maybe next year.

1 c. softened unsalted butter
3-4 c. powder sugar (I used a little more than 3)
1/4 tsp. table salt
1 Tbsp. vanilla
4 Tbsp. heavy whipping cream (milk can also be used, I use cream)

Cream butter. Add sugar slowly. Mix well. Add salt, vanilla and cream. Add more sugar if desired.

true meaning

2011-12-24T18:55:00.000-08:00

Yes, we ate delicious steaks and pierogis for dinner. Yes, we enjoyed wonderful conversation and lots of laughter with new friends. Yes, we put out cookies for Santa and carrots outside for the reindeer. But did we remember the real meaning we celebrate this wonderful holiday? Yes, indeed. Mya's Christmas story started with "Once upon a time" and finished with "The end," and I believe the story involved Jesus, Princess Mya and a dragon, but hey...at least she's thinking about Him, right? In the end, that's all that matters. Merry Christmas eve. I hope yours is as bright as ours. Wish you were here.

twelve days of christmas baking: day eleven

2011-12-24T14:26:00.000-08:00

This pie is one of my favorites because it has just the right touch of lemon and raspberry. It's tart and sweet at the same time and just makes my tongue dance in my mouth. This is the second pie we made today. The star is significant to the special holiday we will be celebrating soon. It is my favorite part of the Christmas story. Tim was kind enough to do all the decorating. I'm a baker, not a decorater.

Day Eleven: Lemon-Raspberry Cream Pie
1 12 oz. pkg frozen raspberries
1 Tbsp. cornstarch
1 1/2 Tbsp. sugar
1 14 oz. can sweet and condensed milk
1/4-1/2 c. fresh lemon juice
2-3 drops of yellow food coloring
2 cups heavy whipping cream

Put raspberries, sugar and cornstarch in a sauce pan and bring to a boil. It should be thick and clear. Let cool. While it cools, whip cream in a separate bowl. Add sweet and condensed milk, lemon juice and food coloring. (Add lemon juice to taste...it will be more lemony after being refrigerated.) Put one layer of lemon cream in a cooked pie crust. Add a layer of raspberry filling. Put another layer of lemon cream on top. Top with shredded lemon zest, mint, raspberries, whatever you like.

twelve days of christmas baking: day ten

2011-12-24T13:56:00.001-08:00

Drool. Please. This is one of our favorite pies: French Silk. Just the thought of it makes me want to jump in the car and find a Village Inn. However, there is no Village Inn in Peoria. There isn't even a decent pie restaurant in town, so I had to make my own. Please enjoy and eat slowly. It's dangerous.

Day Ten: French Silk Pie
3/4 c. butter, softened
1 c. white sugar
3 one ounce squares unsweetened baking chocolate, melted
2 tsp. pure vanilla
3 large eggs

In a large mixing bowl, cream the butter for 1 minute. Add sugar, 1/4 cup at a time and continue to beat until light and fluffy. (3-5 minutes) It must be mixed long enough so it is no longer gritty. In a separate pan, melt chocolate in a small bowl over hot water. Do not let the chocolate harden up. Slowly add chocolate to butter mixture until mixture is smooth and creamy. On medium speed, add eggs one at a time, beating after each one before adding the next egg. Scrape bowl. Add vanilla and mix again. Spread over pie crust.

Cream
1 cup heavy whipping cream
1/4 c. powder sugar
1/2 tsp. vanilla
chocolate curls

Mix cream, sugar and vanilla until thick. Spread over chocolate. Add chocolate curls if desired. I just shaved a hershey's bar on top of the pie.

My pie crust
1 cup flour
1/3 plus 1 Tbsp. shortening
1/2 tsp. salt
2 1/2 Tbsp. cold water

Cut shortening into flour and salt mixture. Add cold water. Mix well. Roll thin and put in pie pan. Poke crust. Double foil the top and put in oven at 400 for 8 minutes. Remove foil and cook for 6 more minutes.

twelve days of christmas baking: day nine

2011-12-23T18:53:00.000-08:00

I've tried dozens of roll recipes. I usually stick with the basic recipe out of my Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook, but today I tried a new recipe. I liked it, but I would tweak it a bit. I found it on the following website: Mel's Kitchen Cafe. If you haven't looked at this site, you should. The recipes are amazing.

Day Nine: Dinner Rolls (with my modifications)
1 1/4 c. warm water
2 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
2 Tbsp. sugar
2 1/4 tsp. instant yeast (one pkg. yeast)
3 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 c. potato flakes
1 1/2 tsp. salt
1 egg, slightly beaten

Whisk water, oil, sugar and yeast in a small bowl. In a large mixing bowl, mix flour, potato flakes and salt. In a steady stream, add wet mixture to dry mixture. Knead into a ball for 6 minutes. Let rise for an hour and a half. Punch down and split dough into twelve small balls. Cover with plastic wrap and let rise another hour. Remove plastic, brush egg over the tops and bake at 400 for 15 minutes.

Added bonus: My pizza dough recipe
A lot of people ask me for my pizza dough recipe. I love making homemade pizza. Next to spaghetti, it's always a good backup dinner. I use this dough recipe for my chicken ranch pizza.

Yummy Pizza Dough

1 Tbsp. yeast

1/4 c. water

1/4 c. sugar

1/4 c. shortening

1 tsp. salt

1 c. milk, scalded

1 egg beaten

3 1/2 c. flour

Soften yeast in warm water. In a large bowl, combine sugar, shortening and salt. Stir in hot milk. Cool to lukewarm. Add softened yeast, egg and 2 cups of the flour and beat well. Gradually add remaining flour or enough to make a soft dough. Knead for 4-5 minutes. Let rise in a warm place for about an hour. Roll out to fit pizza. Top with favorite pizza toppings. Bake at 400 for about 20 minutes. This makes 2 pizzas with thick crust.

twelve days of christmas baking: day eight

2011-12-22T14:29:00.000-08:00

I call this recipe The Stolen Sugar Cookies. Rumor has it that this recipe was a hidden family secret. My good friend once had a roommate that made these cookies all the time but wouldn't cough up the recipe claiming it was a family secret. Irritated, my friend sneaked into her room while she was on a date and copied the recipe into her personal notebook. She put the recipe back into its original place and never told her roomie about the naughty deed. I can't remember if I asked my friend for permission to copy the recipe or if I stole the recipe from her too. I'd like to think I asked for it, but I may have stolen it just to keep the fun alive.

Day Eight: Stolen Sugar Cookies
1 c. butter
1 1/2 c. sugar
3 eggs
2 tsp. cream of tartar
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. vanilla
3 1/2 c. flour

Frosting
1/2 c. soft butter
3 c. powder sugar
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
2 Tbsp. milk
3 oz. soft cream cheese

Cream the butter and sugar. Add eggs. Cream again. Add cream of tartar, baking soda, salt, vanilla and flour. Mix well. Have some extra flour to roll the cookies out and make designs. Bake at 375 for 6-8 minutes. (I put my dough in the refrigerator today for the first time for about 30 minutes in hopes that it would help keep the cutter shape. It worked. Just a little tip.) Frost when cookie is totally cooled.

master

2011-12-22T10:45:00.000-08:00

I am the master of messes. And that's all that matters when you produce moments like this. Today Mya, V and I made flour angels in the kitchen. 2 1/2 cups of flour is a perfect match for fake snow. We've been patiently waiting the snow around these cornfields but have been sadly disappointed with a lot of rain and frost. I decided to make my own snow today. And while it created a big mess to clean up and a bathtub filled with flour clumps, it was definitely worth Mya's final comment to me before naptime, "This has been a really fun day mommy." You betcha.

To see more, see here. I hope we will make a few more messes before Christmas knocks on our frigid door. I'm just preparing myself for the wrapping paper mess that always occurs on Christmas morning. Anyone else excited?

peanut wonderings: favorite christmas memory?

2011-12-21T20:18:00.000-08:00

As previously mentioned in an earlier post, I think some of my favorite memories from past Christmas mornings are creeping out of my room with my sister and brother to follow the smells of chocolate and cinnamon. We hardly slept the night before Christmas. We would often wake up in the wee hours of the morning and play board games to pass time until we were allowed to wake up mom and dad. When the clock struck 6am, we would run into their bedroom and jump on the bed in attempt to rouse their excitement. It wasn't until later in my life that I realized they had been up for hours too. To prevent peeking, my parents would often put up an old sheet in the doorway between the kitchen and living room. The anxiety would often get the better of me and my siblings, and we would sit at the bar sipping our hot chocolate and whine until they would allow us to run into the other room. Our stockings and one present from Santa would be perched on a chair waiting to be opened and loved. I always loved sifting through the trinkets in my stocking; they were the gifts that held the most meaning.

My parents are really good at Christmas. They save a certain amount of money (depending on their budget) each year to purchase things we must have. Although the focus has shifted to the grandkids, my mom (sorry dad...you really don't do the shopping) is really thoughtful in her gifts. She wants to make sure she takes care of our needs and wants. Reflecting back on my memories, I don't believe my mom ever received half as many gifts as she gave out. But she never complained. She is the perfect example of Christmas. She is my favorite memory.

What is your favorite Christmas memory?

twelve days of christmas baking: day seven

2011-12-21T13:54:00.000-08:00

I'm the first to confess that on 80% of our breakfast making occasions, I use box pancake mix. It's easy and mindless and sometimes just what I need at 5 in the afternoon. But on rare happenings, I will bust out my homemaking skills and whip up a delicious batch of my homemade pancakes. They are preferred of course. I made these last night as Tim cooked those tasty potato morsels he said his grandpa always made when he visited Michigan (maybe if you're lucky...he'll jump on here later and add the recipe for the potatoes).

I would recommend these little pancakes for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Have them this weekend as you prepare for the holidays. I promise you won't be disappointed.

My pancakes
3/4 c. sour cream
7 tbsp. flour
2 tbsp. sugar
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
2 beaten eggs
1/2 tsp. vanilla (I am a little more generous with this one...I love vanilla)
Butter
Syrup

Mix the sour cream, flour, sugar, baking soda and salt in the same bowl. Stir gently. Add beaten eggs and vanilla. Stir. Spray pam on your pan and start cooking. Butter the tops and add syrup to taste.

twelve days of christmas baking: day six

2011-12-21T05:25:00.000-08:00

Brownies remind me of our best friends. (I often speak of them on the blog so I feel I should give you a little background.) We met Rusty and Whit in our first BYU married housing complex. I am so glad cheap rent brought us together. Whit and I don't really have a lot of girl friends (go figure) so it was pretty miraculous that we instantly hit it off. Pretty soon we began sharing meals and laughter multiple times a week. I would normally cook dinner, and they would bring the dessert. The most frequent dessert: brownies.

Well, they unexpectedly moved a year before we moved from Provo. It literally broke my heart. They had been through everything with us, and I couldn't believe life would go on without them. In some ways, it didn't. However, I learned to cope with having them live hundreds of miles away and turned to Whit's good old treat for quick recovery. I stopped buying box brownies when I learned how simple it was to make the delicious homemade kind. Here's my recipe:

Day six: My homemade brownies

2 c. sugar
1/2 c. cocoa
4 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
1 1/2 c. flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1 c. softened butter (try not to gasp...just don't make these every week)

Mix sugar, cocoa, eggs and vanilla; gradually add flour and salt. When that is mixed, blend in butter. Spread in a 9x13 inch pan. Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes. No baking soda or powder is needed for this recipe. Nuts are optional (but I don't like nuts in things so I always opt out of using them).

Paul and Anna's Wedding

2011-12-20T15:17:00.000-08:00

These two lovebirds are now married and enjoying a little bit of peace and quiet before beginning their final semester of undergrad. We were happy to join them on their big day and are grateful for the people who made it possible. For more pictures, go here.

satisfaction

2011-12-20T14:25:00.000-08:00

We dance to the beat of our own drum in this house. I snapped these photos of the peanuts this weekend and just about died laughing when I saw them again. We're a bit crazy in this house, and it shows. More pictures of this weekend to come soon...

So it's 3:58pm, and I just brushed my teeth for the first time today. Tsk, tsk. I used to look through the files of health histories at my old office and gasp when someone my age would admit to brushing their teeth once a day. It seemed absurd. However, I am a culprit of this very disgusting habit on about 3 out of 7 days of the week. Why the sudden change you wonder? I blame it all on those two little goobers above. We start and end our day playing dress up or running around the house, and sometimes I forget. It's hard to get away from these two for even a minute. You don't believe me...you should see my excellent bathroom skills. I should win a sanitation award for holding both children while going to the bathroom without exposing them to germs.

Motherhood is a lot of work. But here's a little secret that I feel I need to share with you, I am loving it very much. I can't think of a single person on the planet who would envy my current situation (you know...being stuck inside my tiny house with no car and no outside the house activities), but I am actually beginning to find real satisfaction from my new day job minus my declining hygiene. I am no expert on motherhood. Luckily, that isn't a requirement to obtain one of these little stinkers. However, I feel I am really making headway when it comes to my own kids. I love being a princess or a farm animal. I love wrestling and rolling around on the ground with them. I love cooking with Mya. I love V's little face when I get her from her morning and afternoon naps; she looks at me as if I am her favorite person in the world (which is only true until Tim comes home because that man...well, he has her heart). I love reading books to the girls on the couch as we cuddle under two or three comforters. I love that I have figured out how to prevent tantrums on most occasions. I love so many little things.

I do think there is a slight descent into madness when you become a stay-at-home-mom, but that madness is what makes playtime and imagination great. I used to think I was going to fail the moment I was stuck inside, but I haven't given in to failure yet. And while I have so much to learn, I really do love this gig.

twelve days of christmas baking: day five

2011-12-20T07:26:00.000-08:00

I am totally behind with this project because of our little jaunt to Utah so I am going to have to double up on my recipes for a few days. I hope you won't mind. I don't think you will. The following recipe is a staple item on our table every Christmas morning. I can't remember a Christmas without it. My mom used to wake up super early to start the coffee cake and warm water for hot chocolate. Oh how I loved waking up to the smell of cinnamon and chocolate. I am grateful my mom taught me how to make this because now I wake up before Tim and our peanuts and quietly bake this scrumptious treat every Christmas. Here's my mom's coffee cake:

Day Five: Kathy's Coffee Cake

Cake
1 c. sugar
1/2 c. shortening
2 eggs
1 c. sour cream or milk (I always use sour cream, but if you don't have any, milk is fine.)
2 c. flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt

Topping
1/4 c. sugar
1/3 c. brown sugar
1 1/2 tsp. cinnamon

Cream together sugar, shortening, eggs and sour cream or milk. In a separate bowl, mix flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Mix well. Add dry mixture to wet mixture. Mix well. Put 1/2 batter in greased 8x8 pan. Cover with 1/2 topping. Spread the rest of the batter over topping in pan and sprinkle the remaining topping on top. Bake at 350 for 35-40 minutes.

(I can't stress enough how important it is to mix the dry and wet mixtures in separate bowls. I used to think it was more important to save dishes rather than follow the recipes that asked me to do this, but I have since learned that the recipes work so much better if done the correct way.)

cheap date

2011-12-19T20:35:00.000-08:00

See that pizza right there? Please overlook the grease-stained paper plate and see beyond the calories. That pizza provides our little family of four with a great date night at least once every other week for under $5. It is found in the Sam's Club food court next to the oversized fountain drink cups. Go try it. It's delicious. And it has magical powers of bringing romance to nearly every relationship, even if that relationship happens to be with a stranger. See below.

While eating our pizza tonight, Mya turned around only to find this handsome, shy little devil. His name: Ian. Her name: Rapunzel. She inched her way toward him. He inched his way toward the edge of the bench. Notice his rosy cheeks. That boy was blushing before Mya even touched him, which she did even though he maintained his awkward expression the entire time. He was double her age, but what did that matter? She thought he was her prince for just a minute. See...romance can even bud on plastic stained tables.

monday evening chatter

2011-12-19T20:18:00.000-08:00

(grumpy traveling faces)

Good evening. I feel like I have been MIA. It's partly true. I believe my body has been living and breathing, but my brain has been on auto-pilot for the past five days. It shut off right after we boarded the plane to Utah. That first airport adventure really took it out of me which made for an interesting weekend since we were basically booked from sun up to sun down each day.

I was hit with a wave of emotions when we left the hotel Thursday morning and saw the snow-tipped mountains right in front of us. As we visited friends and walked around our old neighborhood, I felt a dull ache in my heart. I missed Utah. I missed the people I would wave to on my way to work. I craved the restaurants unique to Utah. I yearned to play hand and foot or pass the pigs with friends that would stay until midnight. I wanted to stay at work a little longer just to gossip like the good old days. I missed nearly everything from my memories. While I am pretty content with my present, it was nice to be reminded of all the little things that made me love my past.

You may be wondering about the wedding we attended...well, it went off without a hitch. The bride was beautiful. The groom was calm. They looked more relaxed and comfortable than I had ever seen them. Congratulations Paul and Anna. I hope you are having the time of your life in Park City. Eat some yummy caramel apples for me.

My late monday chatter to peak your interest:

The man who said “I wanted a bookstore because the book business is the business of life” dies at the age of 98: George Whiteman

The workout that just kicked our trash: P90X

The treat I still can't believe we didn't eat while in Utah: Apple Pie

Some easy ornament ideas: Button Ornament

My preferred book at the moment: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society

This week's spacey Christmas tune: Hue and Hum: Angels we have heard on high

I'm sorry I've been away. It feels like forever since I've written, but we didn't have great internet access in Utah. I've missed you. I hope you've missed me.

Utter exhaustion

2011-12-15T14:56:00.001-08:00

Time. I just needed a few minutes alone. There is a continuous thumping beating at my forehead and temples. I am sitting in our hot rental ride, an impala with fake wood paneling, listening to the rhythmic snores of v. This trip is going to destroy the nap schedules I've worked so hard to make habitual. Bummer. We didn't arrive in salt lake until 1:30am. The car rental place was already closed so we were forced to stay in a hotel near the airport. Let's just say that I wish I had slept in a body suit covered in antibacterial gel. I hope we didn't get any diseases sleeping in those hard beds. It has been a day. I did get to see two people I love and miss more than I realized, but I am totally pooped. Our little peanuts have been exceptional in spite of the delays, no naps and eating out more than we ever do. I am grateful for the friendly people in the airport who helped us carry our bags down several flights of stairs, located our missing child, and entertained our kids while we sat with our heads in our hands. Mya played with a little boy from Sweden or Switzerland for over an hour while we patiently awaited our delayed 9:00 flight. He didn't speak but a few words of English, but she didn't notice. They just crawled under the chairs and giggled. So cute. Language cannot limit imagination.

She ran away...

2011-12-14T17:30:00.001-08:00

And we found 8 minutes later. Scariest 8 minutes of my life since her seizure. Never take your eyes off your kids in an airport. What did she say when we found her? "I was trying to find you and the brown airplane." tears begin. "I couldn't find the plane. The people took it away." This trip might be the death of me.

Peanut wonderings: delayed flights

2011-12-14T13:53:00.001-08:00

What would you do if you arrived at the airport only to hear the words, "sorry mam...but your flight has been delayed which will make it so you miss your connecting flight. However we do have a flight which will get you to your destination at 11pm (it's currently 1:30)"? Scream? Throw a tantrum? Cry? Laugh? Look blankly at your tired husband and non-napped kids? That would be me. So here we are in this tiny airport holding our two sleeping children. Yes, that means I am blogging via the iPhone and only using one hand. Forgive any mistakes. We still have a three hour layover once we arrive in Chicago. Grrr. But I am trying to maintain a cool head as I think of the pending holiday and the obviously overworked men and women cluttering this joint. Lucky for me the airport is so small and local that they still believe in free wifi.

twelve days of christmas baking: day four

2011-12-13T06:24:00.000-08:00

We're muffin people in this house. For the longest time, we told Mya that cupcakes were muffins so that she couldn't request the actual thing. She now knows the difference but prefers muffins. I discovered this recipe two years ago when Tim gave me The Pioneer Woman cookbook for Christmas. We call these savory little treats: donut muffins.

Day Four: Donut Muffins

Muffins
3 cups flour
3 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg (I add a little more than called for because I love nutmeg)
1 cup sugar
2/3 cup shortening
2 eggs
1 cup milk

Coating
1 1/2 sticks butter
1 1/2 cups sugar
3 tsp. cinnamon

Cream sugar and shortening together. Add eggs. Mix again. In a separate bowl, combine flour, baking powder, salt and nutmeg. Alternate adding 1/3 of the dry mixture and 1/3 of the milk to the creamed mixture, beating well after each addition. Fill 12 greased muffin tins. Bake for 20-25 minutes at 350. Remove muffins from pan and set aside. To make the coating, melt butter in one bowl. Combine sugar and cinnamon in a separate bowl. Dip the warm muffins (**muffins must be warm**) into the butter, coating thoroughly. Then roll in the cinnamon mixture. I like to really coat them in the cinnamon sugar.

Miss Mya helped me make the muffins. These are her favorite things to make. She likes every part of combining the dry mixture to cracking the eggs to licking the finished batter after they're all complete. Mya has been more than insistent on helping me in the kitchen lately. She wants to do EVERYTHING! Rather than fight her, I encourage her. I have been teaching her proper cooking tips like washing your hands before starting (and many times in the middle if she licks somthing), pulling your hair back so no stray strands wiggle their way into the treat and licking the final product to make sure nothing is missing. She's a pro.

(As a little plug for "The Pioneer Woman," I love her cooking. She makes amazing food. The only thing I would recommend is cutting back on at least half of the butter. Check her out. I know you won't be disappointed: The Pioneer Woman.

monday morning chatter

2011-12-12T05:11:00.001-08:00

Morning. I pulled this picture from the archives just because I happen to be very much into this man of mine. He has been making me weak in the knees a lot lately. This picture was taken before we were engaged...before we had any idea of what was in store for us. Back then, we were young and lively. This morning I woke up with an ache in my back and a pain in my head. Not so young and lively any more. I just try to keep my eyes peeled open until naptime rolls around, and I can lay my fading red head on the pillow.

I hope you have a fantastic week. I know we will. We get to witness a wedding this Saturday, and that's one of my very favorite things to do. Weddings always make me want to hug and kiss Tim a little more than normal. I'm sure he'll happily oblige. Here is some of the chatter banging around my head this morning:

my favorite weekend obituary: Bill Tapia, Ukulele Virtuoso

a must-watch weekend melee: Cincy vs. Xavier

the lady who inspired me to write my own memoir: Let me provoke you

a skirt i wish i was brave enough to wear: red, flounced wrap skirt

cookies i am aching to make: santa hat cookies

the christmas song i can't get enough of: Wintersong

twelve days of christmas baking: day three

2011-12-11T18:19:00.001-08:00

So because my crepes were totally lame the other night, I thought I would show you the correct way to make crepes. I love savory and sweet crepes, but we mostly make sweet crepes in this house. I remember the first time I attempted crepes after we were married. We went over to our best friends' house, cooked them up and stuffed them full of ice cream, homemade whipped cream, strawberries and chocolate sauce. If I can remember right, I think sexual innuendos were flying left and right. I mean, why not? You've got the perfect recipe. I've modified the recipe quite a bit since that night, but the memory of that night makes my heart ache for our best friends and that crappy BYU housing again just for one night. Whit, I'll meet you half way...what do you say?

Day Three: My choice crepes*
1 cup flour
2/3 cup cold milk
2/3 cup cold water
3 large eggs
1/4 tsp. salt
3 tbsp. melted butter, plus more for brushing on pan
--For sweet crepes, I add a little sugar to the batter

In a blender, mix all ingredients until smooth. Refrigerate for at least two hours. Heat a non-stick pan over medium heat. Brush with melted butter. Pour in 2-3 tablespoons of batter into the center of the pan and then tilt the pan in all directions to cover the bottom evenly. Cook about 1 minute. Turn and cook the other side for another minute. Add mouthwatering toppings.

*I adapted this from a Julia Child recipe

My homemade whipped cream: (I got this idea from my good friend Misti)
1 cup whipping cream
1/2-2/3 cup white sugar or powder sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
Saigon cinnamon to taste

Mix until stiff. I love this cream. I add it to just about everything. It is amazing in hot chocolate.

not so wild date

2011-12-11T17:34:00.001-08:00

Remember how I Tim and I were supposed to go out and eat a delicious dish last night? Total bust. Didn't happen. Our babysitter came over around 5pm (we eat dinner early over here in the midwest), and we headed to the restaurant of my choosing. As soon as we pulled into the full parking lot, I knew my plan was about to fail, but I held out hope that most of the cars belonged to the helpless parents of children at the Chuck e Cheese. Nope. I walked into the restaurant only to find out there was an hour and a half wait. We only had a babysitter for two hours so I knew that wasn't going to work. Tim and I walked into the frigid, winter night and looked at our options. We could do Chuck e Cheese, but I forgot to pack the extra strength Excedrin so that wasn't going to work out. I didn't feel like a greasy burger or a bowl of soup. I wanted to try something new and different. We decided to try a relatively new restaurant: Wild Berries.

Here's the scoop: It was not so wild. And there were not a lot of berries. The most wild part of the restaurant was taking the frontage road at a crazy fast speed to get out of there. The restaurant reminded us of an upscale Village Inn. We should've walked out right after seeing the cheesy decor, but our stomachs were growling and the clock was ticking. I ordered the crepes pictured above. While they may look yummy, they were dry and boring. No sauce on top and no cream in the middle to moisten my mouth. At one point I asked if they had a glaze to put on top, they brought me what I can only image was warmed jelly. I put my fork down at that point and shared Tim's omelet, which was actually pretty tasty. But how can you really mess up a meaty omelet? I took my crepes to go determined to make them better at home. We ate them this morning drizzled in chocolate sauce. Too bad we didn't think of that yesterday, it could've made for an interesting night.

But alas, we were pretty pooped after we got home and put the kids to bed. We ended up just cuddling on the couch like always, which in my opinion is the best way to end every night.

some women

2011-12-10T07:52:00.001-08:00

After careful consideration, it is my opinion that some women never truly graduate from high school. And even though their body may age with time, their immature tactics remain unchanged. You remember the type--the ones that are gifted with an enormous amount of beauty and meanness in the same package. I remember them all too well. I am currently being reminded of them every week. They make friends by preying on the weak and innocent. Sounds dramatic, but it's true. Well, some of those women never change.

These women live everywhere and they hide under any number of wrinkles. Whenever I meet them, I take a mental note to maintain my distance and move on to other women I can relate to. I feel bad for them really. It must be terribly exhausting to fume over everything and scowl at everyone. I bet they take lots of naps. I also feel bad for them because I wonder how many close friends they really have. I doubt they have many. Good friends make all the difference in this life.

Lucky for me, I am surrounded by two stunning women who have the some of the kindest hearts I know. My daughters will never be those sour-faced girls. I will not let them. And while they may throw tantrums here and there right now, I know it is just their age. I will teach them that kindness goes a long way.

Twelve days of Christmas baking: day two

2011-12-10T06:02:00.001-08:00

Before I give you one of my most coveted recipes, I have to take a moment and note that I think today is going to be a good day, and it's only 8:03 in the morning. My peanuts always wake up at 6am on the dot. Sometimes they wake up before six, but I will avoid talking about how I feel about this because it truly is an ungodly hour. Today, for the first time in over a year, we didn't roll out of bed until 7:45. The stars aligned and produced a little miracle for this tired mama. I will be forever grateful. On top of that, I found a babysitter for tonight and will enjoy a delicious dish with my tasty husband. That also almost never happens. See it's going to be a good day.

And a good day for you too since I am about to reveal one of my favorite recipes: Banana Cream Pie. So make this and eat it slowly because you probably shouldn't make it too often. I just made it for a party on Thursday. I came home with a couple of slivers and have been rationing them to last through the weekend.

(I forgot to take a picture until it was half gone.)

Day Two: Banana Cream Pie

1 baked pie crust

2 cups heaving whipping cream

7 oz. sweet and condensed milk

7 oz. water

1 pkg. INSTANT banana cream pudding

2 bananas

Beat 2 cups of heaving whipping cream until stiff. Add sweet and condensed milk, water and pudding mix. Beat again. Spread half the filling in the pie crust. Slice bananas and place them all over the filling. Spread the rest of the filling on top. I usually place a few slices of banana on top for decoration, but don't do this until you are about to serve the pie or they will turn brown. Enjoy.

My pie crust

1 cup flour

1/2 tsp. salt

1/3 c. plus 1 tbsp. shortening

2 1/2 tbsp. water

Mix flour and salt. Cut in shortening with two knives or a pastry blender. Add water. Mix. I dump all the contents on a clean counter to roll the dough together until it isn't crumbly any more. Put in the fridge for 45 minutes. Roll out. For baked crust, place double foil over the pie and place it in the oven at 425 for 8 minutes covered. Remove the foil and bake for another 6 minutes. Let cool completely before adding filling.

*My friend Lori gave me this pie recipe. She is an amazing cook and is always trying new things. I know this isn't the most authentic recipe, but I guarantee you'll love it. It's simple and wonderful.