today

today is one of those days where i just wish it was already nighttime (it's only 10:11am) and that i could be cuddled in bed next to tim reading the next chapter in this month's novel. but alas, it's not. we're still two hours away from lunch/nap time. i don't think the alka-seltzer has quite worn off yet so my brain feels a little numb. i guess the freezing cold weather might also contribute to the numbness, but who knows? i thought i had a doctor's appointment this morning. i assumed i was totally ahead of the game by finding a sitter and driving tim to work in the small blizzard this morning so i would have the car. it took me nearly two hours to get home in the falling snow and ice after dropping tim off at work. a commute that usually takes 17 minutes. both girls were in tears and screaming uncontrollably. all the while i was just trying to maintain my best defensive driving skills. once we pulled into the driveway, i ran the kids inside and found a quiet haven in my dark bathroom where i did a few yoga deep breaths to calm my tense chest. little did i know that the doctor's office was calling my cell to confirm my appointment for tomorrow while i was taking a few minutes to myself. as i listened to the message, i just thought "you've gotta be kidding me." grrr. all this planning and i planned it for the wrong day.

is there a bright side, you ask? well, yes. i have learned there is always silver lining to every situation. sometimes you just have to dig to find it. i didn't have to dig too far because i called my friend/sitter and explained my error and she graciously accepted my plea to watch my girls tomorrow. thank you...thank you...thank you. tim called to make sure i made it home okay and i told him how about how i messed up, and instead of being frustrated with me, he just laughed and said everything would work out fine. my girls stopped crying the moment they saw me pouring their favorite cereal in bowls. they have already learned the definition of "comfort food." and me--well, my chest is no longer tight. i thought i was going to have a heart attack. illinois drivers make utah drivers look amazing when driving in snow.

i am grateful for a lot of things this morning: that i am alive, that my car is not smashed into another car or a freeway wall (i counted 16 accidents in the 15 mile commute), that my girls are no longer crying, that v is taking a good morning nap, that my friend didn't mind switching days, that i have plenty of hot chocolate stocking my shelves for this cold wintery day, that mya and i played dress up and i still fit into a dress (see above) my mom made for me when i was 13 (minus the chest...i am slightly larger than i was then and i mean that in the most literal sense), that we have a new can of reduced fat sour cream and onion pringles to snack on today as we watch the snow fall, and i am definitely grateful that my heat works.

today is a silver lining kind of day. i know it's going to be a mess on the freeway when i pick up tim so i only hope that the next few hours give me the rest and patience i'll need for the extended commute.