I've remained silent on this space of mine for the past two weeks because honestly, I had a lot going on and a lot on my mind coupled with no time to write. Over the past two weeks, we spent time in Michigan and Arizona, only to return with a blown tire to our lovely, albeit hoooottt San Diego home. To say I am exhausted is an understatement. I haven't even laced my running shoes this week, and if you know me, you know that means something is off. But don't worry, I plan to run tomorrow seeing as things are calming down a bit, and supposedly tomorrow should be a bit cooler. Please let it be cooler. It was 81 degrees upstairs last night, and my skin was so itchy, I thought it might march itself right off my body in a riot of sorts.
Several people have reached out and asked me about my feelings on the move. Honestly, I have no feelings. None whatsoever. I am completely numb to the whole thing. In past years, I have rushed to find housing, schools, churches, etc., but this time I don't have the heart to do it. I'm sure I'll love it when I'm there so that really isn't the problem because let's be honest...have you ever met more than a handful of people who don't LOVE Texas?! Everyone loves it.
But for now, I am choosing to move at a slower pace. I am in no hurry to rush off. I'm pretty tired of moving. We put Texas high on our list in hopes it would lead us to the state that still holds our hearts in a couple of years, but we also chose it because we figured it would be a good place to settle, if in fact we end up loving it there and don't want to move in a few years. So we should be in Texas for 2-4 years.
I think knowing we aren't moving in a year is overwhelming too. It means I can't remain as apathetic as I have been here in San Diego. I have only made a couple of friends here by choice. I've hardly left an imprint in the sand so to speak. I was different in Wisconsin and Illinois. I really tried to make friends, and because of that I have gained some lifelong friendships. There is so much to do here that Tim and I really never made time to let people in. We did everything in our own time and at our own pace. I think we were both over giving so much of ourselves only to lose it in the end. I guess that sounds selfish, but it is what it is.
So there's the news: Texas. We'll be moving mid-summer so if you'd like to see us in San Diego, you had better get over here as quickly as possible. I'll be waiting.
I can totally relate to the feelings of not necessarily wanting to make close friends when you already know you'll be moving. Its so tough. Even though we do it as a defense against getting hurt, when we moved, I still felt a little hurt for the things that might have been had I gotten the chance to stay longer, get more settled, and open up a little more. Its just tough, and I don't have anything to say except good luck, and I empathize with you. I hope you'll love Texas eventually :)
ReplyDeleteYou will be missed in San Diego! Moving is so hard-- I can't even imagine with children and going to make new friends. I am excited for you to go to TX though and the ties back to where you want to stay forever. That makes me very happy. Well wishes on your travels, but heck, enjoy the last little bit here! :)
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