FEAR

So my best friend Ashley always has the best posts on her blog. She is postively one of the most creative people I know and she is an amazing writer. I laugh, cry, gasp, sigh and everything in between as I read her posts. I wish you could all know her. Although she is not yet a mom and was not given a proper tribute, here it is: Ash...you are incredible. Your expert eye for fashion trumps that of anyone I know here in Provo and beyond. I only wish to look half as good as you do. Your choice of a husband is a perfect match. You are great for each other. Your kindness to me, your close friends, your family and even complete strangers astounds me. Your ability to listen without interruption is something I admire. Your writing is quite frankly...delicious. Your testimony of life and God makes me want to be a better person. This post is for you. You inspired me to write a list of my top ten fears as silly as they might be. Perhaps if I begin writing as you do, more people will read and be inspired to share their feelings as we do for each other. Here's to you and all the other curious readers.

MY TOP TEN FEARS: (There is no specific order--that would take too much thought)
1. Bees. I fear being stung. I fear looking like an idiot trying to avoid being stung. I hate their annoying little buzzing sound. I hate everything about them. I will have to ask God why he had to create bees.
2. Bigotry: I fear that I might misunderstand someone who could possibly change my life for the better.
3. Being rear-ended: I don't know why I fear this so much, but the thought makes my back tighten up.
4. Losing Mya: I know she can't walk yet, but the idea of losing her in a mall or a park is terrifying.
5. Drowning/Suffocating: I hate when I can't breathe right. I think this would be the worst way to die. Should I be admitting this on the internet?
6. Waking up to a late night phone call or door knock telling me someone in my family has died: I don't know if it is all the novels I've read or all the NCIS I've watched but I really don't ever want to have this happen to me.
7. Tattoos: I will never understand tattoos. The sight of them makes me cringe because all I think about is the needle.
8. Falling down stairs: My mom fears stairs and I think the fear was instilled in me. Although I hate touching stair railings because I think of all the germs, I always have to because I am afraid of tumbling down like Humpty Dumpty and not being able to be put back together again.
9. Not making someone smile: I have always tried to leave an impression on every person I meet. It is sort of my life motto. I try to make people smile or happy for one brief second. I think the moment that stops...that will be the time something in me stops.
10. Being left alone: There are too many things that are behind this fear. I don't want to get into it now, but I never want to be left alone. I live for my time with Tim and Mya. I love every minute with them. I don't know what I would do without them.

So there you go...those are my top ten fears. That took some serious thought. What are some of your fears?