a divine title: mom

 [October 2011]

There are days when I feel like all I say is "please don't...". Don't lick the mirror in the women's bathroom. Don't eat bird poop off the sidewalk. Don't push your sister. Don't hit mommy. Don't take all the food off the shelves. Don't draw on yourself. Don't cut your sister's hair. Don't go outside without me. Don't pee in the front yard. Don't crawl under the car. Don't pull mommy's shirt down/up. Don't...don't...don't.

Occasionally I throw in a different phrase like "stop it" or "I'd rather you not..." but for the most part my go to phrase begins with don't. Those days happen almost everyday. They are exhausting. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get through to my little peanuts because I feel like I constantly repeat myself.

However, even with my ever present exhaustion, there are so many moments of happiness. I am so glad I challenged myself to step away from the distractions and back into real life while the kids are awake. It has made all the difference in my attitude. Rather than grumbling when the kids tug at my legs to play, I make an effort to beat them to the punch and get on their level before they have to ask. I spend most my day on the floor throwing balls, tickling chubby legs, reading books and playing with toys.

I don't miss my phone, the computer or the television. People can wait. Family shouldn't have to. Motherhood has been such a roller coaster ride for me over the past 3 1/2 years, but I feel like I am finally getting a grip with our current situation. That will obviously change when the new one comes, but for now I am enjoying the present...even with all the "don't" phrases I have to use.

I feel helping to raise children (whether you are a parent, a grandparent, an aunt, an uncle or a friend) allows ordinary people to get close to divinity. Raising children is a divine calling. And our kids need all the help they can get. I am so grateful for my support system. My girls have amazing grandparents and uncles/aunts who call them regularly to say hello and remind them of their love. My girls wait for their calls and remember them in their prayers. I too remember them as I tell God all the people I am grateful for. I could not be the mother I am without my family and friends. They constantly teach and lift me. They inspire me to be better than I naturally am.

I love being a mom. My girls challenge me to my very core. They force me to grow up even when I don't want to. Being away from them two weeks ago really made me realize how much of a mom I am. I looked at kids on the boat with ice cream stained faces and wished I was sitting there with my girls. I saw little kids running on the beach with their parents and thought of the girls running with Tim to catch small waves. And I saw parents cuddle their babies during shows and wanted so badly to tuck my girls in at night. I am a bigger sap than I thought. I thought being away from the kids would be the dream of a lifetime (and it was for a lot of the time), but there were distinct moments when I realized how much I love my day job and the title that comes with it.

my monday chatter: 

i loved his hair products growing up: Vidal Sassoon dies at 84

please give me your opinion on this article because i'm not sure how i feel still: The Inflation of Life

this article made me think of my friends who couldn't call mom yesterday: Muddling through Mother's Day

i've been using this lately and seeing results: Miracle Worker Dark Spot Corrector

mya is all about plants and flowers so i think she'll love this activity: Plant Pals

hello delicious treat that made my belly full yesterday: Monkey Bread

missing her music tonight: Bjork--It's Oh So Quiet