the women in our lives

Mother's Day is ever present on my mind this week, as well as many other things, but for now I wish to focus on mothers.

Mothers are either celebrated or mocked in today's world. To be mocked for helping raise the future generation has always baffled me. I suppose it always will.  I understand not wanting children, which may or may not sound odd coming from a mother, but it's true. I completely understand it. I don't judge it, and I don't ask for reasons. I feel it is one's own right to choose how they lift and inspire others, whether that be through becoming a boss or mentor in the career field or through teaching little ones the importance of sharing. It's all the same. It's all about helping others reach their fullest potential. At least, that's what being a woman and a mother means to me. 

This week I am reflecting on the women in my life. Women, mothers or not, are amazing. We are resilient and strong, and we are fighters. As I've contemplated the women in my life, I have been particularly aware of what they hold in their hearts. Women hold a lot in their hearts, and they often do so secretly. It's like each chamber of the heart was specifically made to hold feelings specific to each woman. 

In my heart, I silently hold countless prayers. Prayers that Mya will be safe at school. Prayers that Tim and I will know how to best teach the kids whatever it is that needs to be taught (at the moment it's dealing with emotions correctly). Prayers that I will make and keep good friends. Prayers that I will be a good friend. Prayers that I will feel inspired. Prayers that I will be stronger. Prayers that I will know things will be okay, no matter what the outcome. 

In my heart, I silently hide my sincerest fears. Fears of not being liked. Fears of finding a hair in my freshly baked pie. Fears that I will lose a child. Fears that my child will grow up not to like me. Fears that I've offended someone. Fears my knee will never return to its once strong state. Fears that I will not become whoever it is I am supposed to become. 

In my heart, I silently rejoice at my little successes. Like nailing my half marathon a few months ago. Or helping V write all her letters this afternoon. Or watching Mya proudly hold her tooth after much convincing that she was brave enough to lose it. Or watching Elle finally figure out how puzzles work. Or finding out that every place in the world wishes my husband would work for them. Or finishing a good book. Or finally mailing that thank you card I've been meaning to send. 

In my heart, I silently keep a running tally of people in my life. I worry about a friend who miscarried a year ago and so badly wants to get pregnant but hasn't been able to make it happen. And I feel grateful for the man at Mya's school who always offers to run her lunchbox to the lunchroom since I'm always running late. And I watch with amazement at the parents who pick their children up from Genevieve's class, and they patiently help their children overcome whatever disability they may have. And I think of my parents and siblings daily and hope that they are safe and well. My family means the world to me.  And I remember my closest friends and try to make sure they know they have a friend in me no matter what life may be throwing at them, and let me tell you, life is throwing some crazy stuff at the moment. 

As a woman and as a mother, my heart is constantly full of all that life gives me, the good and the bad. I continuously examine its contents to make sure all things are in their proper place because when the heart is off, life is off. My wish for this mother's day is that we might all be kind to the women in our lives and that we might celebrate whatever they might be doing to help lift the hands that hang down. Women are amazing.