No life plan.

I have friends who've had dreams and goals for their lives since they were teenagers. Admittedly, most of their plans have morphed or changed or been discarded due to life, but they had them written down somewhere.

I did not. 

I can't remember ever planning life after college. I mean it took me 7 years to graduate college. Perhaps I just thought I'd be an eternal student; I really don't know. But I just didn't make plans. I didn't have any big dreams. I guess I assumed I'd get married (said nonchalantly). It seemed like the thing to do. I don't think I ever thought about children. Once I married Tim and the idea of children became a reality, I guess I started thinking about them a little more. And then when we read the 2-pack pregnancy test sticks laying on the bathroom counter, I guess we really started thinking about kids. 

But I never really thought about them before that. Is that horrible to admit?

I guess I thought I'd graduate college, teach, maybe meet a guy, marry said guy, and just wander through life with him. I really think that is all I ever thought when I thought of my future. I never figured I'd have the life I have now. 

The one that is so messy it's beautiful. The one that is so routine it's interesting. The one that is so full of love it's heaven. 

Over the next while, I hope to write about small, random memories, lessons, or moments of my life. They may not all connect. Some might be uncomfortable to read. Some may be uncomfortable to write. But I sort of enjoy being uncomfortable--it makes me more vulnerable and open to ideas. So here we go. 


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"Be kind and considerate with your criticism... It's just as hard to write a bad book as it is to write a good book." Malcolm Cowley