the little things

It often feels like the small decisions I make are inconsequential, such as my decision to workout each morning before the kids get ready for school or the few minutes we carve out to read scriptures and say a prayer as mother and kids before the kids head off on their bikes or the moments I push pause on my daily routine to sit on the wood floor and read a book to Timmy or push trains around in circles. Will those little things actually matter? In the moment, it feels like it's just the right thing to do, pushing us forward into the unknown. But as life gets busier and trickier to organize, I think those small decisions actually make all the difference.

Tonight I was tired and didn't want to read with Mya before bed. We've been reading Goose Girl by Shannon Hale for a few weeks (it's nearly 400 pages and we only read it together at night), and tonight I just thought please Mya just go to bed...please. But she looked at me with her big hopeful eyes, and I could not refuse a few pages. Reading with her is our time away from everything and everyone else. We cuddle in her bed, and I read aloud while she makes circles with her feet in the air. It happens to be one of my favorite things of every day, and I'd be okay if she wanted to do it until she moves out, which let's be honest, I will never be ready to have happen.

It was just a small decision, but it meant a lot to her and to me.

Another thing I do before bed is peek into the girls' bedrooms. I don't do anything but sneak a look inside and smile at whatever position they're sleeping in or whatever fort they've created to sleep under, but those are the images in my head as I fall asleep at night.

The little things in my life take up a lot of time. In fact, I think they take up the majority of my time, but it's worth it. I will never regret sitting with Timmy for an extra few minutes to play whatever game instead of cleaning. I'll never regret taking time to take care of my body and brain in my daily workout. And I'll never regret just being with my kids.

I already feel things changing for the kids and for me--they're getting more involved in school, clubs and sports, and I am starting to volunteer a bit more here and there, and it feels like we're changing so quickly, and it makes my heart ache a little each day to think that my older kids are away from me more than they're with me during the day. They spend more time in the company of their teachers than they do with me. And I'm trying to adjust to that fact. And so, as this realization crashes upon me over and over again, I've resolved to do whatever I can to do the small things with the kids and with Tim. To put my phone away more. To be outside more. To laugh more. All the little things--they're worth it.