“How different is your life now than how you’d always pictured it?”
Are you exactly where you always thought you’d be?
Are you mildly where you thought you’d be?
Or are you nowhere near where you thought you’d be?
I really wanted the prize so I began to think about the question and its subsequent answers. Although I briefly responded to the question, I have been thinking about this question and my honest answer all evening.
Honestly, I am mildly where I thought I'd be. I always thought I would be married by this point. Check. Happily married to a man that I could not have pictured. I don't know who or what I pictured, but Tim has surprised me in every way. He is perfect for me. I try not to babble too much about my marriage, but I do believe that we have a great relationship. I live for it. I guess I thought I would have children. Check. Mya is amazing. She looks like Tim but acts like me. I have my hands full. I definitely knew I was in for that looking back at all I put my mom through. Sorry mom. I thought I would be graduated. Check. I didn't realize it would take me so long to do it. I am a little embarrassed about how long it took but don't regret it because I did things as an undergrad that few people do. I thought I would be home with my kids. Uncheck. Not yet. Marrying young has its perks, but it also has its downfalls. One being putting my husband through college debt free. Being debt free is definitely a benefit, but sometimes I wish I could hang out with Mya more. To Tim's credit, he does not ask me to work. He always tells me I can do what I want, but he also reminds me how much I love to be around people. I think I will always work in some way as a mom. Whether it be full-time or part-time, I don't really know, but Tim is right, working keeps me sane. I never would've guessed that. I always thought I would be out of Utah by the time I turned 25. Uncheck. Still waiting to leave this place. While I love it, I long for somewhere new. I always thought I would have good friends. Check. I have great friends. Some that have been with me since the days of lockers and school lunch (Ashley...do you remember the bench?), some who have been with me since the first days of college (Kris and Eliza...you have made me...me), some who have been with me since I got hitched (Whit...I can't tell you how much I miss you), and so many who I have happened upon and count my blessings (Ellie, Misti, Tiff, Nancy, Keely, Cali, Lexy, Joan, Jari and so many I cannot list). I always thought I would be close to my family. Check. I love my family. I can't even express how much I need them. I guess I hoped I would be happy with myself. Check. Definitely happy. I have grown into my own in so many ways through the years. I have learned to love my body (most of the time). At least, I don't hate it ALL the time now. I have learned to be patient with myself. I used to think I could do everything. I can't. I have definitely learned to ask for help. I have learned to smile when it's hard. I have learned to listen more...Talk less. (P.S. This is still a work in progress.)
So I am sorta where I thought I would be. I don't think I ever could've guessed the roads that brought me here. I am grateful for each road. Maybe not each decision; I regret a few. But I have moved on. I am content. I am glad I went on a mission. Never imagined myself doing that. I am glad I found love in the most unlikely places. I am equally glad that I experienced love lost. I am glad I took so many classes at BYU. I definitely got my money's worth.
I have learned that life rarely turns out how you wish. I am wishing for so many things right now, but while I wait I have taken control of a couple of things I can. I started my family history. That was very rewarding. Tim and I joined a gym. We are feeling great and looking better already. And I am writing in my journal more. I feel at peace with where I am right now. And that is my honest answer to the question. I am sorry if I talked to much. I just wanted to write it down.
How would you answer the question? And why?
Great answers! I loved reading about your life plan and the contrast of wish versus reality.
ReplyDeleteMe? My life is not at all what I had mapped out.
1. I didn't ever think I would get married. I just didn't see it in my cards. But, I happily, willingly fell in love.
2. I always planned on going on a mission and traveling heavily....that did not happen! See answer number one.
3. I thought I would be wildly successful in my career and be independently wealthy by my mid-twenties. (Ha! I was sooooo naive!)
Although my reality doesn't match my dusty, high school 10 year plan, I'm truly enjoying what's on my lap. Oh, and I still plan on being wildly successful and independently wealthy in the near future!!
Thanks for sharing that Janine. You are inspiring and I love your honesty.
ReplyDeleteWhat are you trying to win? Love posts like this- they are so real. Love you too J- friends have made my life what it is. You're the best.
ReplyDeleteI liked this. Am I where I thought I'd be?... now I am. if you asked me a year ago I would have said no (because I wasn't married) but I would have also said, but I love where I am and its where I am supposed to be... it felt right for me to be single for so long (utah long). But, now it feels so right to be married, to be working at the best hospital and the best unit on the planet. I DID think I would serve a mission. and I DID think I'd still be in SLC and loving it here... and that is still true (it has everything I love to do!), but soon to change. I always known I'd be putting a husband through school for some reason, that will soon be the case. And I have always known I would keep my closest friends close, relationships mean the world to me... still true. So although I'm a late bloomer, life is pleasing me more and more ever year, and things are happening, wether in the time I want them too or a little bit later. And I didn't know I would be a nurse but I wouldn't trade it for the world. There you go.
ReplyDeleteI am with Cali....what will you win? Even if you don't win it is a great thing to think about. I would write a nice response; but, I think I would like to think about this one for a bit. It reminds me of the interview question....Where do you see yourself in 5....10 years from now? Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDelete