Series Guest blogger: Whitney--The power to be ME

Power: noun

The ability or capacity to perform or acteffectively

The ability or official capacity to exercisecontrol

I have the ability to act effectively. I have theofficial capacity to exercise control. But it wasn’t always this way, or wasit? I have come to one gigantic, all inclusive conclusion in my 25 years and itis this: we always have the power to be ourselves.

I can look back at my life thus far and witness periodsof time where I felt completely powerless and I suppose in some aspects I was.I was powerless to control the people around me. I was powerless to makeimportant decisions for people I love. I was powerless to change the past. ButI was never powerless to be me.

I have experienced some significant blows to myself-esteem, some trials that left my image of ‘me’ bruised. It started with myphysical self-esteem and spiraled out of control from there. Those were some ofthe darkest days I can remember. When I close my eyes and drift back I can seemyself sitting on the bathroom floor, sobbing. I can see the blank expressionon my face as I went about my daily activities. I can see myself going out fora run and wandering aimlessly around town, just listening to my upbeat runningmusic. Then suddenly, a change. A slow melody began to play and as the lyricscommenced each word penetrated my mind and my heart. “You’re not alone, eventhough right now you’re on your own. You are loved in ways that can’t be shown,your needs are known. You’re not alone.”* I can say with complete confidence thatI felt the power of heaven. That was the beginning of my journey to personalpower.

The kind of power to be me that I feel now has grown andevolved since then. As I look back now I can clearly see that those trialstaught me to find my personal power and to use it. I wish I had found itearlier. Thank you, hindsight. I think we all love to feel powerless. Wait.Don’t stop reading, I know that sounds backwards. I genuinely believe that evenfor control freaks and power trippers, feeling powerless can be…comforting. Tofeel powerless to change makes me the victim, which is a much easier role toplay. Let’s face it, change is hard. To make personal change is even harder. Totake an honest evaluation of yourself and change what you dislike is thehardest of all. And so to feel powerless to make those changes is one of themost accessible crutches we have.

Real personal power comes when we discard that crutch andmake a change. Making positive change is one of the most effective ways to feelhappiness. With each personal change I made, my confidence grew. To view myselfas an agent of change and not a victim of who I was has made all thedifference. Life changes and so must we. I am working daily to instill a senseof personal power in my daughters. I feel an unquenchable desire to teach themto love who they are and when they inevitably find something about themselvesthey dislike find within themselves the power to change.

Ultimately these changes may eventually lead to the bestversion of the person I am meant to be, but I am far from that perfect being.The most genuine form of personal power for me is understanding that everythingis a process. Although I have a great distance to go, the miles I have comehave been monumental. I now know that I have the ability to act effectively. Ihave the official capacity to exercise control. I love myself for the things Ihave changed and I love myself for the ability I have to yet change the thingsI need to. That means I have the power to be ME.

*”You’re Not Alone” by Michael McLean

Whitney is one of my best friends. She is the mom I wish I could be. She is my silent mentor in nearly every aspect of life. She inspires me to be better. She is a wife and a mother of two beautiful girls. While she may be more quiet by nature, she is very sure of who she is and who she wants to become. You can read more about Whitney at the following link: blog.