a sprinkling

I have been suffering from a little insomnia lately. And while it frustrates me to lie in bed next to a warm, snoring body, it has given me an insane amount of time to think. A few weeks ago I thought it would be wise to keep a small notebook on my nightstand just in case thoughts of any worth should be noted. My little journal is filling up quite nicely.

Last night I felt a bit nostalgic as I thought about the handful of good friends in my life. I can count the lifers, or my lifetime friends, on two hands. I have always had the good fortune of having a rainfall of filler friends in my life. You know the type--the ones who are excellent at making small talk and even better at avoiding the important stuff. Let's be honest: I need these people. We all do for one reason or another. And though I am grateful for my filler friends, I am even more thankful for my lifers, especially since I obtained each one in a totally awkward way. Truth: I am terrible at making friends.

It's true. I can't make friends without having one of those awkward "soarewefriendsorwhat?" moments. My old Utah stomping grounds even has an acronym for this hated juncture of relationships--the dreaded DTR (define the relationship). Yep, I'm guilty of the DTR which is so weird because I consider myself a pretty charming person when I am not bathing in sarcasm. You would think that friendship would come naturally to me, but it doesn't. I feel something has to be said in order for my heart to open up to a person. My poor little heart has had its share of beatings.

Anyway, I am getting off topic. I have a sprinkling of extraordinary friends. One is a noteworthy math teacher and a newlywed. One is a brilliant actress and a budding mother. One is the head of admissions at a college and a fantastic writer. One is a hardworking nurse and a new mum. One is an inspiring stay-at-home-mom and has dreams of raising a dozen rugrats. One is a gifted mother of three and a motivating friend. One is an online student with the wittiest sense of humor a girl could ever ask for. One is a unique crafter and patient mother of four. One is an exceptional photographer and a lover of comedy.

We are all in different stations in life. Some of my friends have never even met each other and only know of each other through stories and gossip. No matter where we are in the country or what we are doing, I always feel close to them even if we only talk every couple of months, which happens more than I'd like. But that's life.