a moment of peace

Nearly five days ago I gave birth to another baby girl. The moment she took her first breath will be forever etched in my memory. To hear that first gulp of air followed by that sweet cry that is almost indescribable is quite miraculous. I had just rested my head on the slanted hospital bed taking in another deep breath in anticipation of more pushing when I heard Elle for the first time. Her cry was the most peaceful sound in the hospital that day.

As the doctor held her so delicately, I kept my eyes on her tiny, round belly as it rhythmically moved up and down. It seemed like for just one small moment that our breaths were in sync. The rest of the world slipped away. There we were mother and daughter enjoying new life together. The nurses quickly took her from the doctor to clean and weigh her, but we had our moment. We were one for just a minute. I've had similar experiences with the other two girls.

I happen to love giving birth. I don't necessarily love the aftermath, but there is something so deeply personal about giving birth. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I ache for the women who have not and may not have the chance to experience it although I am convinced anyone can experience that oneness...that completeness...with any child if they try hard enough.

I'm home now and my moments alone with Elle are few and far between. Both girls seem to be requiring extra attention at the moment and I am trying to find solid ground in this new world of mine. I am grateful for my time in the hospital where I was blessed to sit for hours with my beautiful babe without interruptions. We really bonded in that uncomfortable bed. I am in love with Elle. She appears to be a perfect hybrid of the other two girls.