four

My Mya is four today. Four. I can hardly believe it. I remember when the Tim handed her to me for the first time. I just looked down at those blinking eyes and wondered who she was going to become. I still look at those big chestnut eyes and imagine who she will be in the future.

I feel like Mya has really grown up in the past few months. She acts more like a big kid as she tackles challenges and problems. She still throws occasional fits, but what girl doesn't? She has hormones for days. She and I have amazing conversations these days. She is very pensive and asks things I don't think I thought about until I was an adult. She wonders about God a lot. I can't tell you how many times she asks me why God created this or that.

Mya also has an enormous heart. She wears it on her sleeve. She's still hopelessly in love with a boy in Peoria and fights any girl who claims she knows her Crew. I fear the day she realizes Crew may not actually marry her. For now I just let her believe what she wants and do a lot of damage control so she doesn't freak out on some poor innocent girl at the playground. My girl is going to have a trail of broken hearts because she loves too easily.

Mya still has a fearless spirit. She tries and says things that make me cringe. I don't ever want her to get hurt or hurt anyone else, but I know it's bound to happen so I try and guide her but give her room to wiggle and grow.

She is my fighter. She would fight for hours if I let her, but I usually step in or step up in arguments and remind her to choose her battles. I don't think she understands what I mean, but she normally calms down if I quietly remind her to back down. She tells me she is allowed to yell but I am not. If I yell, she freaks out or turns into a recluse. She doesn't like it when I yell. She covers her ears and hides until I calm down. I have learned the best thing to do with her when she is upset is to remove her from the situation, give her ten minutes alone and then return to her and talk to her in a calm voice.

Mya loves her sisters. I asked her today if she loved Genevieve and she said, "Mom, I love her...unless she is being naughty." I then asked her if she thought V was naughty a lot and she said, "Oh mom, she's always naughty, but she is good sometimes. I like her those times." I laughed out loud. She is right...V is going through a naughty period right now. But even when they fight, Mya will always hug V and tell her she loves her. I know she does. She also has a profound reference for Elle. She adores her more than I ever knew was possible. She is extremely proud of her and shows her off everywhere we go. I am so glad she is the big sister because I know she will protect the other two.

Mya is a dear...she's a pill...but she is a dear. She drives me absolutely nuts because we are so similar. We both have strong personalities that clash more than I'd like, but we also have caring hearts. She, like me, wants people to be happy. She is always concerned when she sees someone sad or upset. She tries to wave at them and make them smile. She reminds me multiple times a day that "it is more important to be polite than it is to be pretty." I taught her that a long time ago, and for some reason it stuck. Mya hugs me in a way that I have never been hugged. It is different than V's hugs. Mya's hugs are fewer and far between, but when she hugs me...she shows me so much love. She exposes a little bit of her heart.

I love my Mya. I couldn't live without her. We've been celebrating her birthday for weeks but I do hope this day is extra special for her. I plan to shower her with love even if she resists me, which she probably will.

A few more Mya facts that I want to remember:
-She is my climber/gymnast. There isn't a pole, wall or jungle gym that she can't climb up. She never wants help either and insists she can "do it alone."
-She still naps everyday for about an hour and a half. Jealous? Don't be. She has night terrors and doesn't sleep well at night so her naps are essential.
-She is very spacey and yet seems to remember everything. It's weird.
-She knows all her letters and can write most of them.
-She attends a play-based preschool because she still has two years until kindergarten so I don't want her to get bored.
-She is extremely aware of being modest. She insists on being modest and tells me whenever someone is being immodest.
-She loves all Catholic churches because she believes Rapunzel lives in each tower.
-She lives for water. She would stay in the bath for hours if I let her. She loves to put her head under water and makes me watch every time.
-She just started her first dance class: ballet and tap. I am reliving my childhood through her toothy smile.
-She loves shoes, especially sparkly flats.
-She still changes her outfit four times a day. She refuses to wear normal clothes for naptime and insists on pajamas every time.
-She never leaves the house without Mr. Bear. If you ask her who her best friend is she usually says Mr. Bear.
-She doesn't like to sleep under the covers. She says her "feet get sweaty" and sleeps on top of the covers.
-She is my helper in the kitchen--always has been.
-She adores her grandparents. I wish you could hear her talk about them. She tells strangers about her grama, pop pop, nana and papa.
-She loves "her" iPod and manages it better than I do.
-She knows which food is healthy and which food is not and asks me to exercise with her at least once a day. When a food isn't healthy but she wants it she will often say, "I know it's not good mommy but it tastes so good." How can I say no to that?
-She always says "she's too young" or "not old enough" to do something if she doesn't want to do it or if she's scared. However, she always claims she's older than she actually is.
-She must pray at every meal.
-She eats just about everything except salad (which is really any vegetable) or shredded meat.
-She is also unable to eat her own food and waits for me to feed her. It drives Tim crazy. We often ask her if I'm going to go with her on dates when she is sixteen since she can't feed herself. She doesn't like it when we say that.
-She tries to understand sarcasm but doesn't so is easily offended.

-She is extremely creative, imaginative and artistic. I can't wait to see her art projects in the future.
-She loves the beach and asks to go there every week even if it's freezing.