She's okay

I think one of the hardest mom moments I've had to endure is watching potential life-threatening accidents almost occur and not being able to stop them. Tonight Genevieve darted into the road in front of a teenage driving an SUV quickly down our street. I had yelled for the girls to stay where they were on their scooters because I heard the car coming, but V thought the road was clear when a different car passed and sped across the street.

The girl didn't even see Genevieve, and Genevieve swears she didn't see the SUV. They missed each other by a matter of seconds. My heart stopped; only recently did it start again. V knew she had made a mistake because I reacted so poorly in the moment that she started to cry. She cried for half a block; sometimes I am the worst mother.

Something like this happened with Elle a few months ago when she didn't see a car coming down the road and narrowly missed a terrible accident by mere inches. Both my neighbor and I were screaming at Elle and the car, but neither of them listened, and somehow we got lucky then too.

I don't do well in situations like these. I do better ten minutes after when my heart starts beating and my brain starts functioning again, but I need to be better. When we got home, she and I hugged. I told her how scared I was in the moment and that in no way was I angry with her because it was an accident (even though my crazy yelling could've been greatly confused with anger), and I told her how much she meant to me. Man, that girl--just like all of my girls--is my whole world. She is the equivalent of sunshine in my life. I don't know what I'd do without her.

And just to end the post on a bright note--here is my whole world, ice cream included. ;)

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"Be kind and considerate with your criticism... It's just as hard to write a bad book as it is to write a good book." Malcolm Cowley