Summer: 1; Janine: 0

Summer needs to end soon. If it doesn't, I'm afraid I'll have to throw in the towel. The scoreboard already reads--Summer: 1; Janine: 0. But I'm not going out without a fight.

Even though I've managed to keep my girls busy all but 6 days this summer (meaning we left the house and found adventure somewhere), I feel like I have failed on so many levels. Yes, my kids were entertained. Yes, they appeared mostly happy. Yes, they learned new skills. And yes, I think they felt loved most of the time. BUT I have been slowly dying inside, and therefore I have failed myself. It has been incredibly hard on my body, mind and heart to keep up with the girls each day. Having Timmy just weeks before school ended was quite possibly the worst-timed event of my life. It has been so hard to lug him everywhere and keep him cool or in the shade while the girls play, swim, ride bikes, etc. He has battled heat rash nearly every week. The poor guy has learned to hold his sweat on the ridge of his nose and just above his upper lip like a champ. He doesn't enjoy nursing under a blanket in the heat outside. He doesn't really love being splashed at the pool. And he doesn't like skipping naps (and neither do I). We endure each summer day whether we like it or not so the girls can have fun and be active.

But now school needs to start. We need a schedule. We need regular nap times/bed times. We need to avoid the pool. I keep telling myself only 2 weeks left. I can make it. We can make it. I absolutely dread the fact that V has to attend full-day kindergarten. I never thought I'd be a mom that would say that, but full day seems so long for her. I'm curious to see how my free spirit will fit into such a tight regimen. And I'll miss how much she helps with the babies. Elle and Felicity will miss her terribly (with the exception of the first week when they roam around the house freely without having V there to direct their every move. Once that initial week wears off, they'll be begging me to keep her home). And oh my Mya. I will miss her too. School is so, so good for her and for our relationship, but I do love learning with her within the comfort of my own walls.

Oh summer, how fun you've been for the girls, but it's time to part ways. But please be kind as you exit because I know I'll miss you when you're gone.

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"Be kind and considerate with your criticism... It's just as hard to write a bad book as it is to write a good book." Malcolm Cowley