Help me erase the last 10 days

I'd like to erase the last 10 days.
Nearly 90% of each day was a living hell.
There were a few shining moments.
Like when Elle told me I was a fun mom.
Or when Genevieve wrote me a note declaring I was the best mom ever.
Or when I played soccer in a dress with Mya after her practice, and she beat me badly.
Those were a handful of good times.
The rest of the moments felt pretty dark.
Full of carpet beetles, larvae and fleas.
And mulloscum--a contagious skin rash spreading rapidly on Genevieve's body.
I'm fairly sure I stopped breathing a few times.
Only to be revived and reminded I still had 10 loads of laundry to fold.
My chest has felt so tight and heavy.
My eyes are so damn tired.
And I keep praying tomorrow will be better.
Postpartum has been real bad lately.
I thought it would get better with time, but it seems to be getting worse.
Like I said, I'd like to erase the last 10 days.
Soon they will be a distant memory.
But today they are so raw and real
And my wounds are still so fresh.
I'll collect myself soon.
I promise.


  1. So sorry it's been rough. I've been feeling overwhelmed at the mess 8 people in a 3 bd house brings& trying to remember that the best way to eat an elephant is one bit at a time
    (Course, elephant parts don't keep coming back as the messes do while I'm cleaning another section of the house.)

    1. Thank you for your reply. What a good reminder!

  2. I've been thinking about you...and checking your blog during night feedings. Having a baby and recovering from a baby- physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually-is rough, rough, rough. I am not even three weeks in, and while I do not wish away these sweet newborn days, I do long for a more "normal" life. A life where I feel good, a life where we can get out and do things. Hang in there friend. I am rooting for you...and me!❤️❤️❤️

    1. I actually think about you when I let a week go by without a post. I know you used to read my posts when you would nurse Rachel, and I'm dying to write. Writing heals my soul; I just don't have time. Thanks for sticking with me!


"Be kind and considerate with your criticism... It's just as hard to write a bad book as it is to write a good book." Malcolm Cowley