I'd like to erase the last 10 days.
Nearly 90% of each day was a living hell.
There were a few shining moments.
Like when Elle told me I was a fun mom.
Or when Genevieve wrote me a note declaring I was the best mom ever.
Or when I played soccer in a dress with Mya after her practice, and she beat me badly.
Those were a handful of good times.
The rest of the moments felt pretty dark.
Full of carpet beetles, larvae and fleas.
And mulloscum--a contagious skin rash spreading rapidly on Genevieve's body.
I'm fairly sure I stopped breathing a few times.
Only to be revived and reminded I still had 10 loads of laundry to fold.
My chest has felt so tight and heavy.
My eyes are so damn tired.
And I keep praying tomorrow will be better.
Postpartum has been real bad lately.
I thought it would get better with time, but it seems to be getting worse.
Like I said, I'd like to erase the last 10 days.
Soon they will be a distant memory.
But today they are so raw and real
And my wounds are still so fresh.
I'll collect myself soon.