Where we are

A few months ago, we stored both cribs in our storage downstairs.
Yesterday I threw away the kid potty we used to potty train all the kids.
And today I removed the booster from Timmy's seat and stored it near the cribs.

We have officially transitioned away from babyhood, which is weird.

I suppose I still have two babies that love to be held and cuddled at any given moment, and one of those babies still prefers if I dress her because she has no interest in doing much for herself in that regard. And my older girls still love to snuggle in close at night while I read their books, so there are still moments where I feel that closeness that one feels when they have a baby, but I definitely have to seek out the opportunities.

I carried babies in my arms for over 3000 days. Their bodies became an extension of my body. My left bicep muscle is still slightly larger than the right because I carried all the babies on the left side. I happen to love the noticeable-to-me difference. My babies needed more than just my arms. I nursed babies for over 1500 days. Being the main food source kept me so connected and close to my babies. They needed me, and I learned in time that I needed that time with them too.

Babies are a lot of work. The hormones that come with babies may be more work than the actual baby itself. It's true. There were so many sleepless nights and stressful days. There still are. But the stress was different. The lack of sleep was even different. Now I am woken up by cold fingers poking my cheek, alerting me that someone has just peed the bed or had a bad dream. With babies, you feel strung out because you can't really see straight, but those nighttime bouncing and soothing moments were everything. They were sweet, even when they were hard.

And so here I am changing so much of me to match my growing family. My arms and hands are used for other things--more hugs and hand holding, more pencil holding through homework help, and more making favorite foods to have enjoyable dinnertimes.

I can't believe I am already here. I still believe time is the master thief of all.