Wake up. Figuratively crawl to the kitchen. Find a semi-clean glass. Fill with water. Drink water. See dirty dishes. Scratch head. Walk to shower. Close eyes. Forget dishes. Leave shower. Get dressed. Trudge sleepily down the stairs. Tiptoe through the front room trying to avoid stepping on Mya's toys. Step on one. Crunch. Oops. Scratch head again. Walk back into kitchen. See dirty dishes again. AVOID. Find blue mug I use to heat water. Heat water. Pour into my maple and brown sugar hot cereal. Leave kitchen quickly. Seek refuge away from dishes. Eat cereal while reading St. Mark. Drop cereal on work shirt. Shoot. Decide it isn't worth changing. Wash cereal off with a damp cloth found in the kitchen. See the dishes again. Feel sick. Run from kitchen. Escape the smell of the dishes. Go to my shoe closet. Dig through shoes to find ones that sort of match my outfit. Hurry upstairs to kiss Tim on the cheek before heading to work. Silently wait at Mya's door to see if she is making noise. No noise. Dang it. Rush downstairs. Search for purse. Lose keys. Look for keys. Throw things off the couch. Get angry. Find keys. Leave the house. Realize shoes don't match that well. Reach car. Use the wrong key to open the door. Want to throw the keys. Find the right key. Get in car. Close my eyes. Smile because I avoided the dishes. Drive to work. Say a prayer. Reach work. Work for 9-10 hours. No lunch. Few breaks. Lots of laughing with Keely. Too much sugar eating. Going to get fat someday. Or at least have five cavities the next time I see the dentist. Go home. Open door. Smell the dirty dishes. Shake my head. Sit on couch. Ask Tim why he didn't want to do the dishes. Realize no one
wants to do dishes. Dang it. Do everything else I can except dishes. Smell makes me sick. Must do dishes. Dishes done. I hate the dishes.
Remember a year ago when I talked about the chore I hate most...ironing. I lied. I HATE doing the dishes. I will do anything else in the world. The description above really is my real life. Sad. Disgusting. Yep, I know. Scowl if you must. I do. But don't worry, I couldn't take the smell of spaghetti any longer and cleaned all the dirty dishes.
What do you do to avoid your least favorite chore? Do tell.
For my Mya fans...here are a few pictures of her developing mullet. I want to cut it. Tim doesn't. We are in a tough spot. Sadly, it just keeps growing and our baby looks ghetto. But I sure do love her little ghetto booty.
I too HATE dishes. It's a regular show down in our house to see whose going to do them. I'll try to barter, make deals, empty promises...all of it to get out of dishes. I hate it that much. I miss modern conveniences so much. Most homes in Los Angeles are from the forties and fifties, and have NOT UPGRADED with the times.
ReplyDeleteI too would rather clean up the whole house rather than do the dishes. Yuck!
So cute of Mya! She looks so much like Timmy!
ReplyDeleteI am dying at your neighbor story...sounds just like Paul's niece and her husband. AWKWARD is their middle names. I avoid them at all costs.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with that. I'm sure you'll hear a few "other things" before you hear fighting...LOL!
Your thought process is so familiar!! Love the musings and share your sentiments.
ReplyDeleteI too, dislike the dishes because it seems like no matter how often I do them, I can never keep the sink empty. Oh, well. Luckily, I have two soon to be dishwashers. I just have to wait until they get a little older.
ReplyDeleteAhh! I LOVE THAT!!! I wrote something like that a year ago and that makes me wanna do ti again! That's so funny! Because I think us wives know EXACTLY what you're going thru lol! I love Mya's mullet :)
ReplyDeleteif it werent for a recent post of yours, i'd be wondering about your smell issues. but gross, your dishes are THAT old. ;) I hate cleaning the shower. it takes too long! and taking out the trashes...hmmm...I'm sure rob has more things that i 'never' do.
ReplyDeletetry this: you each do dishes for 15mins each day. set a timer! they'll be done!