Feeling February

You wouldn't know it from my poor attitude today, but I am really happy it's February. January was almost the death of me. It was a long--and I mean long--thirty one gray days. Bitter cold temperatures and a lack of snow really drained my happy holiday spirit. I hate January. Next to Monday and cold dinners, it is the worst.

I embraced February with open arms. I happily strung sparkly foam hearts from my fireplace to commemorate the month of love. Even a dash of color has really perked my spirit during my few minutes of down time everyday. So thank you for finally coming February. I never thought you'd show your face.

Did I tell you I started tending two more girls in December? I watch them for eight hours four times a week. The oldest is six weeks older than Mya and the baby is almost seven months old. There are days I ask myself what the he.. am I doing, but there are more days I am surprised by how easily watching five kids is.

Honestly, I felt crippled those first two months after giving birth to Elle. I thought I'd never leave my house again. The opportunity to watch these girls became available one week after I turned down the job in November. I did a little trial run right before Christmas and decided I would be able to watch them at least through the winter. It took me a week or so to figure out a routine and a schedule, but I have finally nailed down all the tiny details and things are running so much smoother these days. Yes, I am still getting used their personalities, and they are trying to figure me out, but for the most part the job is doable.

I've learned a lot about kids and myself through this experience. The biggest thing I learned is that I will never be a permanent babysitter. I miss having one-on-one time with my kids. I never have empty arms, and I never (and I mean never) have down time. If you know me, I crave silence and "me" time. My body and spirit cannot function without it so this job is stretching my already fragile mind.

The second great lesson that I have learned thus far is that having a normal routine is imperative in this business. I wouldn't survive without it. I am constantly juggling the babies (V included) and couldn't make it through the day if all the kids were awake at the same time. I have learned to off-set the kids so that I can pay enough attention to each of them. I believe it is working.

Five kids makes three kids seem like a piece of cake. I am no longer crippled and feel free when I just have my three girls. I also feel the need to obnoxiously love my peanuts on my one day off. We spent Friday playing tag, wrestling, baking, hugging, reading and snuggling together.

My goal for this month is to feel more. I want to feel loved more and help others feel my love more too. It is the month of love, you know. I hope I can turn this current frown upside down so I can accomplish my goal today.

Let's just say...it was a rough day. And when I say rough...I mean spit-up in my clean hair, food all over my floor, books strewn out from my bookshelf, frozen toes kind of day. I'm ready for tomorrow.

Mya begged us to match her sisters on Sunday. I am opposed to matching outfits but decided to give on this one because she was so convincing. And I have to admit...they did look cute. Do you remember the little blue dress? It still shows its pretty face from time to time.