my mondays

alarm goes off at 5:25am. roll over and wish to die. fall back asleep. 5:40 alarm rings again. roll back over and squeeze my eyes shut. wait two seconds--v cries. watch tim stumble out of bed and clunk, clunk down the hallway. welcome a groggy v into bed. try to cuddle. fail. find mickey mouse on youtube. cover my eyes while she watches and squeals "mickey...mickey." hear tiny feet run down the hallway. welcome mya into bed. try to cuddle. succeed. v hits mya's head. mya cries. cuddles end. fighting begins.

take both girls downstairs--one on my back and one on my hip. turn mickey on the tv. turn princess movie on the computer. put girls in their respective spots. sit in the big leather chair and pretend to sleep. startled awake by an empty chocolate milk sippy thrown at my head. growl. get up. walk to bathroom. start shower. rub eyes. examine the physical damage of utter exhaustion in the mirror. drop the pajamas i've worn for two days straight. get in shower. close my eyes. feel the steaming hot water on the nape of my neck. open eyes. see v staring at my naked body. laugh. close shower doors again. listen to her scream. rush to wash my body. decide my three-day-without-a-wash hair can go another day. turn off water. dry off with an awful damp towl (can't ever find a dry towel around these parts). pick up v while trying to keep the towel in place so my neighbors don't catch a glimpse of my post-baby body while i run quickly through the kitchen and through the hallway to my room. rummage through the drawers for an outfit. decide to wear pajamas again.

pick v up again. gather laundry with one hand. balance a 33 lb. baby on one hip and a full oblong basket on the other. drop basket. curse. put big baby down. she cries. run downstairs. sort laundry. start a load. run back upstairs. pick up v. wipe away her alligator tears. yell "breakfast" downstairs. hear nothing in return. run downstairs. beg mya to come upstairs. get ignored. ask her again. turn off movie. she cries. ask her sternly not to cry. crying continues. coax her upstairs. throw together two bowls of cereal. watch the girls pick at the cereal. get frustrated. choose not to fight that battle.

leave girls at the table. clean upstairs bathroom in record time. return to kitchen. wipe milk-stained chins and sticky seats. help girls get dressed for the day. watch v promptly spill water on her new outfit. growl. find new outfit. leave the girls reading books on the couch. run downstairs. change the load. scrub downstairs bathroom in under 5 minutes. run upstairs. scratch two chores off my list. sit on couch. snuggle with girls. read one last book.

brush girls hair. attempt to braid mya's hair. she whines. scrap original hairdo and quickly whip up the old-fashioned braid down the middle. ask mya to stop whining. tell her she looks like rapunzel. almost mean it. help her get her backpack ready for school. put pigtails in v's hair. watch her pull them out immediately. shake my head.

sweep the floor. look at the clock. 7:59am. elle cries. turn on her bedroom light. gain 5 extra minutes. wash breakfast dishes. pick elle up out of crib. nurse. hear doorbell the moment i finish nursing. girls i babysit arrive.

it's only 8:15. you can almost imagine what the rest of my day is like. 

i hope your monday is not as eventful as my mondays' first two hours.

my monday morning chatter:
a movie review for your reading pleasure (might i just add that i loved the movie): lars and the girl
i wish i was as confident as this blonde beauty: fat amy
i'll have to find an affordable knockoff to add to my closet for spring: viscose-cotton raffia skirt
i made these cornmeal crepes for dinner last week and we all loved them: taco enchiladas
i've been teaching preschool lessons to the girls. i love this craft for the letter "l": little lambs
i've never been able to shake this song from my brain. it's romantic and completely true of my relationship with tim: i need you