the idea of perfection

While social media does create some amazing connections, I often feel like avoiding it for whole weeks at a time. I don't really have the time to peruse the wide variety of blogs I subscribe to, and most days I am grateful for that lack of time. Whenever I do have the time to sit down and read, I find I become more critical of myself as a wife, mother, homemaker and friend.

I read about new moms getting their newborn babies to sleep at one month of life while I often find myself struggling to get Elle to take regular naps and/or sleep for more than six hours at night. (It is improving, but she is seven months and has yet to be consistent.) I then browse those same new moms' pictures and wonder how it is possible they look better than they did prior to pregnancy while I am literally running myself into the ground to maintain weight. And then there are the blogs that never post anything about having hard moments, let alone bad days and I I the only one with high-maintenance children? Then there are the food blogs that make every single dish look so delectable that I almost trash my chicken and broccoli casserole before Tim even steps through the door. Then follow the DIY blogs created by moms of five + children who are consistently creating beautiful projects to entertain the kids and/or decorate their already impeccable house. The list continues...

But it's all silly really. Social media, I mean. Most people post about the lovely and wonderful things happening in their lives because they know people don't really want to dwell on more negative. Heaven knows the news drowns us in pessimism and negativity. I think some do it to motivate others. And I do honestly believe there are some people who are generally happy with their lives and see more good than bad so they write about that. And good for them. I have a hard time connecting with those blogs/sites because I don't feel a connection to the person, but I keep a bookmark on their page so that I can go there when I want to see beautiful people always doing amazing things.

The blogs/sites to which I remain loyal and read every time they post are the ones that are real. I feel a genuine connection to the author, photographer, cook and expect to be motivated or at least compelled to think with every post. If they get a laugh or a tear out of me, well, it's even better. They have me hooked for life.

I have always tried to remain true to myself on this little blog of mine. It's my own little world, and I am thankful I am still small enough that I don't receive mean or critical comments that so many other mainstream bloggers do. And although I am small, it is my favorite moment of any day to receive an email from a reader telling me they liked a recent post.

So thank you readers. Whoever you are and wherever you are. Thank you for your comments and your emails. I hope you feel like you know me through this blog. I plan on printing this blog out one day so that my children and grandchildren will feel close to me too, even if I'm not around. That's really the reason I write so much.

I am not perfect. I think even the so-called "perfect" bloggers are far from perfect. And although they may always appear to have grand days filled with smiles, delicious dishes and sunny skies, I can assure you that they have their moments too. They just may not be as forthcoming as I am about putting it out there for the world to read. A family member once told me I was "down-right crazy" for writing about all my struggles as a wife and a mother. She advised me to keep more things to myself. I stewed over that piece of advice for several weeks before I remembered that my girls would one day be mothers too and they would one day find themselves confused as to why their babies prefer nights to days or why they may feeling down after having a baby, and I will have this good old blog to reference.

If you get down after reading certain blogs, I'd just tell you to stop reading them. I stop subscribing to people who make me feel bad about myself, even if that is not what they intended to do in the first place. It's not their fault that their struggles are different than my struggles. I hope you don't compare yourself with other people. That is the gross and dark part about social media. It sucks you in, pulls you down and spits you out once it's beaten you to a bloody pulp.

Whoever and wherever you are doing better than you think you are. I believe that completely. I am too, even on my really hard days when tears seem so imminent that I want to lock myself in a small closet somewhere.

What are your thoughts on the subject? 

My absolute favorite blog is written by a blogger I only dream to meet. Her name is Natalie. Even though she doesn't know me, I feel like we are kindred spirits. Here is her blog: Nat the Fat Rat. She is involved with an amazing project right now. I hope you'll visit her site and participate.


  1. I have a quote on my quote wall, "Comparison is the thief of joy." And some days I love reading the happy blogs bc they are contagiously happy. But I love reading your type of blog all of the time bc it doesn't make me feel like I'm the only one feeling the way I do some days. So thanks. Keep it up. Love u.

  2. I was going to mention the same quote! I don't exactly know in what context Teddy Roosevelt said this, but I definitely find it comforting to think that even someone of his stature, with his list of accomplishments, still needed the reminder.

  3. Your blog must be on my life long list of blogs to ready because I have both laughed and cried reading yours :)

  4. Nat is one of you favorites too. My mom recently gave me some of the same advice that your family member did... Tat I needed to keep more things to myself. I see where she is coming from but I feel like if I am constantly censoring my writings than I am not being honest or fair to myself. It is a hard balance and I totally know what you mean by some social media making you feel so darn depressed sometimes.

  5. i like that you keep it real. it shows me that I can do hard things too, even if my hard things are different than your hard things.


"Be kind and considerate with your criticism... It's just as hard to write a bad book as it is to write a good book." Malcolm Cowley