sometimes i am so dumb.

sometimes i am so dumb.

i mean...really dumb, dumb, dumb. i know you don't believe me but let me illustrate what's been happening around here lately, and you will agree that i am dumb, dumb, dumb.

remember how we are moving to san diego in less than a month? remember how i've basically been pregnant for the past four years? remember how my skin is paler than my khakiest khaki shorts?

my skin is so white that it is almost translucent. if i was a twi-heart (which i am absolutely not), i would say that i my skin would sparkle almost as bright as edward's in the first novel (was it the first novel? i can't remember. you probably shouldn't either.) i decided that since i would be very soon frequenting the beach that i needed to change that. and change that fast. so that's exactly what intended to do three nights ago.

three nights ago, i signed up for a ten minute tanning session at my gym. i had tanned for more than ten minutes in college so i figured ten minutes would be a decent place to start. wrong. after ten minutes i left looking like a large vine-ripe tomato. it then occurred to me that my experience of tanning happened almost ten years ago when machines were probably created with less uv umph.

the burn left me sensitive to everything. handling my girls was tricky because every touch or hug literally made my skin curl (which is not the best feeling). i felt dehydrated and nauseated. and i looked like a total raccoon with my bright white eyes and deep red cheeks. i couldn't hide my mistake even if i tried.

even now three days later i find myself slapping gobs and gobs of aloe on my skin in search of relief. my body was not ready for this kind of torture. it may never be ready again. i may just have to come to the conclusion that being sparkly white is just as attractive as being the color of golden sand.

i am dumb. so dumb.

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"Be kind and considerate with your criticism... It's just as hard to write a bad book as it is to write a good book." Malcolm Cowley