i've never been so happy for monday morning.

You know me. You know I dislike Mondays almost as much as I dislike kale (no I haven't jumped on that bandwagon). But in all honesty, I have never been so happy to wake up on a Monday morning as I was today.

Like I said before, I've been awful as of late. I have felt off in every area of my life and after mulling it over for a few silent hours last night, I decided it's because I haven't had a plan, a schedule, an outline, a goal for weeks. It has mostly been about surviving day in and day out. Last night I blew out the candle on that awful life. The smoke from the candle nearly choked me before I found a breath of fresh air. And in that air somewhere I could smell life breathing itself back into this old bag of bones.

I woke up with a plan this morning. And so far it's going swimmingly. I know there will be bumps in the road, but at least I have idea of how to fill the hours in the day. The girls and I already worked on our numbers and letters. It involved lots of gold and pink glitter and some crazy patterned scissors. You can only imagine the mess I get to clean later. I've never been so excited about a mess before. It was a much needed mess.

The girls are playing dress up in their room at the moment. I can hear Mya ordering V to call her "Anna" for the day. Today it's Anna. Yesterday it was Emma. And the day before that it was Heart Diamond. That girl knows what she wants. V is always happy to oblige as long as a lollipop is involved. Mya coaxes her into doing anything with a lollipop. Only problem: we're out of lollipops so it's going to get real interesting in here in about five minutes.

Over the next few weeks and perhaps it will drag into months, I am going to rebuild the me that's been missing. It's been my goal of 2013 and even though I haven't even made a dent in the goal and it's July, it is still ever present in my mind.

I like the idea of rebuilding something. I believe I'll need to knock down a few more walls in order to get where I need to be, but I do think it's possible. The idea of rebuilding gives me hope. And hope is always a good thing.

Happy Monday! You may never hear me say that again...;)

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"Be kind and considerate with your criticism... It's just as hard to write a bad book as it is to write a good book." Malcolm Cowley