on rebuilding: part one (dream simple)

 
{Hiroshima rubble: image source}

I saw this picture for the first time when I was a young little thing attending my first required world history class in college.  The haunting image has never left me. Probably because I identify so much with this solitary man standing amidst the rubble of his once vibrant life. Grey skies and piles of trash for days, he must've thought, "How in the world will we rise above this?" 

I often think that too. Life has a funny way of turning on you without even giving you a courtesy text to tell you, "Hey...things are going to suck here any minute." Aren't courtesy texts pretty standard these days? I even get them from complete strangers. I guess life hasn't received that memo. Well life, there's your memo...a courtesy text would be much appreciated. 

I am standing in my own pile of rubble right now. My life has been one big roller coaster over the past three years that I can't quite remain on level ground. I'm either experiencing the highest of highs or the lowest of lows. I've decided that life cannot continue without finding some shred of middle ground. It has to be out there. It just has to be. 

I do not want a person who crumbles every time something big changes. I'm done crumbling. I'm done being the man in this picture. It is time to rebuild. And rebuild for good. I vaguely mentioned this in my previous post, but I have been doing my research and with my research I've been receiving some personal inspiration that I thought I ought to share with you. 

My research has been mostly focused on rebuilding and/or reconstructing structures. After all my studies, I have devised a list of action verbs that will propel me forward out of my personal ruins. The first verb: DREAM SIMPLE. 

Everyday I tell my girls, "Dream big baby girl. Dream big." And I mean it. I want them to believe they can be anyone they want to be and do anything they want to do as long as they are willing to work at it. I honestly think they have the world at their fingertips and nothing should stop them from believing in whatever they want to believe in. Currently, it's princesses and castles and make believe mouses. 
But for my purposes of rebuilding a better me, I need to stop dreaming big and start dreaming simple dreams. Realistic ones. Achievable ones. The people in Moore, Oklahoma aren't dreaming big; they're dreaming simple. They didn't wake up morning after the terrible tornado hit their town and actually believe the town could be rebuilt in a day, a week, a month or a year. They knew it would take time.

A friend of mine recently visited Moore and when she returned home I asked her about the progress of the town. Naively I asked if the town was already starting to rebuild. She looked at me and flatly told me that before they could rebuild, they first needed to tear things down. And that was exactly what they were doing when she visited. 

Sometimes I think we can just start rebuilding ourselves over existing pieces of rubble. Perhaps that's why we continue to crumble. We haven't torn away enough of the debris to really start building a solid ground. So part of dreaming simple must begin with unloading all the junk in the trunk and allowing yourself to see where you really are before you start rebuilding. 

You must feel lighter before you begin to add layers back into your life or you'll just fall over again and again and again. Just like me. Once you've scraped away all the excess waste, let your mind conjure up manageable tasks. Do not attempt to build a castle if you couldn't keep a one story house standing. 

Today I am dreaming simple things. I hope you will too. And soon...not too far in the distant future, we too will look like a city rebuilt. 

{Hiroshima rebuilt: image source}

2 comments :

  1. Love it. I miss you girl. You are in my prayers, always. I hope your middle ground is found soon. Love you.-Jules

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  2. Loved this. Thinking about you!

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"Be kind and considerate with your criticism... It's just as hard to write a bad book as it is to write a good book." Malcolm Cowley