too busy.

Why is it that December always packed to the brim with parties, holiday shows and charity opportunities and other months lack all of the above entirely? Is there any real reason to celebrate after January 1st until February 14th? January and February are the bleakest months. And although they will not be filled with days of frozen toes and red, splotchy noses this time around, the days will still seem extra long and drawn out. Oh January and February, you are far down on my list; in fact, you should probably just be lumped with Monday mornings.

This past week I have experienced a gamut of emotions while preparing for Christmas. I wish money didn't have to be an issue with Christmas. In truth, my mom did teach me to save a little away each month to prepare for the joyful holiday, but with three growing kids in tow who all seem to need new shoes, jeans or long-sleeve t-shirts, saving money has not been easy over the past couple of years. Blah. So for the past couple Christmases, it seems like I go to the store with my list in hand and leave the store empty handed with a heavy heart and a frustrated brain. Thoughts begin to clutter my mind and the true reason for Christmas starts to fade: Why does that Ariel dress have to cost so much money? Will she even wear it if I buy it? Why don't they have the book V wants? Will she settle for another? Should I feel bad that Elle is only getting one small present this year? Nah...she's only 1. 

I have felt particularly stressed this year because I have really tried to stay close to the budget we set, and for some reason, budgeting during Christmas really makes my skin itch. If I had it my way, I'd buy my husband and kids everything they ask for on this blessed holiday because to be quite frank, I say no every other day of the week. And my girls are good girls. Sure, they have their moments, but on the whole, they are amazing. They deserve the four things they asked to receive from Santa, but I suppose that would be unreasonable.

And while I fret about all these tiny details because let's be honest, they are tiny, I feel so immensely grateful for family. Our families have really been good to us this year. My grandparents will soon learn that they acted in Santa's place this year thanks to their generous Christmas gift to our family, and my girls will see how much their grandparents, great-grandparents and aunts/uncles love them. They really are spoiled so does it really matter if I can't give them all that I'd like? Not really.

I'm anxious for Christmas to come, and I wish that time would just stand still that day. Heaven only knows that everyone wishes January would stay away for a few more weeks so let's just freeze time on Christmas. Hear that Santa? That's my Christmas wish. I just want to slow down and let all the scents and sounds soak into my skin that day.

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"Be kind and considerate with your criticism... It's just as hard to write a bad book as it is to write a good book." Malcolm Cowley