better than yesterday

I have about 20 hours of work that I have to complete before Sunday, but I figured after a post like yesterday's post, I should probably give you an update so you all know I'm still alive and so are the 4 little people entrusted to my care. But by a slim margin. ;)

By the time Tim arrived at the pool after work last night, I had nearly turned around the afternoon and found a way to make everyone smile again. Of course, Birdie fell face first in the pool, which gave me quite the scare because as much I'd love to blame V for leaving her side, I didn't give proper instructions and so I am at fault. I quickly scooped her up in my arms and considered throwing in the towel for the rest of the day, but Tim quickly arrived and took Birdie home to rest while he started dinner.

As I sat on the steps of the pool, I watched Genevieve chase a small, yellow butterfly around the bushes of the pool. Unable to capture it, she kept half-snapping her fingers and sighing, but then she'd start the whole process all over. I found myself smiling as I watched her. Mya and I played a game of hide and seek with some pool toys where we both went after the same toy and swam as fast as possible so we could get the toy first. It is one of her favorite games. And just before leaving, I helped Elle dive for toys at the bottom of the pool. I usually have to push her bum down so she can reach the bottom, but after a bit of encouragement and a few good instructions from Mya, she found her courage and did it herself.

I can't tell you how rewarding it is to see kids accomplish things they didn't know they could do. Watching Elle swim across the pool without floaties or help a few weeks back was almost the best day of my life with her. I think I loved it more than I did when I watched her take her first steps. Just knowing she knows how to get to safety in the event she falls into a pool means the world to me (and if you know Elle, she falls in lots of pools). Watching her dive to deep waters alone was pretty amazing.

Anyway, we survived yesterday as I believed we would, even though there were a few times I started to doubt myself while I was in the thick of things. Parenting, on the whole, is really great. I have moments all the time where I stand in awe of something my girls say or do to the benefit of someone else. I have very thoughtful children. But there are days where every button in my body is pushed, and I feel the steam rising to the tip of my nose and seeping out my ears. Yesterday just happened to be one of those days, and probably for no apparent reason.

I use to try and pinpoint my "failed" days down to a moment that went wrong, but I don't really do that anymore. Instead of dwelling on the one bad moment or the hundred bad minutes, I try and move past them and look forward to a new hour and a new day. If it's possible, I try to save the day by getting the girls to smile at me before bed. I know all will be forgotten as they dream as long as they smile at me before bed. And rather than beating myself up about the few wrestling matches that occurr or the moment I snap back at whiny children, I just chalk it up for what it is and I put it aside. I have found the more I pile bad things upon bad things, the more I just want to give up and give in, and as a mother, I don't have time to be giving up. There is so much to do! I say I'm sorry when I'm wrong. I stick to my discipline plan when I'm right, and I always and I mean ALWAYS remind my girls how much I love them, even if I sort of despise them from time to time.

Today has been so much better than yesterday. I ran a longer run and filled my lungs with as much fresh air as I possibly could before I opened the door to 3 very awake children at the early hour of 6:30. I had the girls shower while I cleaned the bathrooms, and Mya helped me with breakfast so that I could finish vacuuming the house. There's something about clean kids and straight lines in the carpet that just gets me off to a better start in the morning. And boy am I ever grateful for Mya. She has definitely stepped up to her big sister role, and she is a tremendous help at breakfast.

After breakfast, we wrestled but not because of pee-pee panties but because we wanted to laugh and make human sandwiches. Genevieve was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and Elle was a grilled cheese. I had the responsibility of eating each sandwich so we all had a good laugh as I nibbled on their soft skin. My parents called on Skype, and Mya explained all the ins and outs of black eye liner and jedi school to my mom, and Elle showed my dad her large array of purses.

Seeing my mom and dad--even if it's just for a minute--does my heart a world of good. They understand me. And they love me no matter what. And I just don't believe you can have enough people in the world that "get" you.

The girls made their own pb&j sandwiches before we headed to the pool, and Blue cleaned up the peanut butter mess they created on the table. Thank goodness for a tall dog. And thank goodness Tim gets to clean up his mess later tonight on his walk. I'm still cringing about yesterday's fiasco. Yuck.

And so there you have it. You have a better day. Not a perfect day by any means. I mean I had to enforce a solid 5 minutes of time out after the pool because no one was listening, but hey, it's a lot better than putting pee-pee panties on anyone's head so I'll take it.

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"Be kind and considerate with your criticism... It's just as hard to write a bad book as it is to write a good book." Malcolm Cowley