Today Elle turns three. I'm not really sure how that happened so fast, but it did. I just walked through the front door from my early morning walk with Blue. The air is cool, and there's a breeze rustling through the changing leaves. It's been awhile since I've felt that crisp, autumn feeling; I've missed it. And mostly because I feel God in the wind. I'm not sure why, but I always have. It's one of His gentle reminders to me that He is real and He is here with me.
As I rounded the corner for the final stretch of the walk, I gazed up at the pink sky. The sun was already beginning to rise in the East, and I felt a rush of emotions tighten in my chest. My not-so-baby-girl is growing up, which means so are my other girls. I saw my neighbor pulling in his driveway; he waved to me as he does each day. He just dropped his daughter off at college last week. I instantly had this nagging feeling that I will be him some day. I will be pulling into my once full driveway to an empty house, lacking all the pitter patter and small chatter of childhood, and I will miss this.
I started to cry. My chest ached so much, and I couldn't believe I was crying about events that at the moment seem so far away, but also so near. Time waits for no one. It is the one thing that keeps going, even when everything stops.
This morning I missed my babies, even though they were sitting at the window waiting for me to return. They have not left me yet, but I know that day will come...all too fast I assume.
I feel eternally grateful for the life I have chosen. I don't believe I will ever regret these crazy years, even if they stretch me paper thin. I love my family.