Summer moments

We're three weeks into what feels like the eternal summer at this point, and I feel oddly calm about where I am and where my kids are at this point. We've mostly fallen into a rhythm that will shift as the days pass, but the rhythm is peaceful and happy. Most days the kids can be found playing house, building Lego cities or swimming in the lake. I can be found washing a never-ending pile of laundry, making lunches, helping build towers, taking walks and listening to music whenever I can. Music is life. It fills all the empty corners of our house like words fill the empty spaces in my brain. 

I've read books too this summer, which is new. After reading Untamed, I decided I needed to put myself first occasionally. My best friend in Arizona nudged me in the right directions when she asked what I'd like for breakfast when I visited, and I mentioned anything would be fine because I was used to eating the crusts of my kids' toast. Shaking her head, she taught me to demand more for myself. The book also taught me that. So I came home from my grandpa's funeral weekend thinking how I could do more for myself while still doing things for the kids. I made a list: make a decent breakfast everyday, read a little everyday, and get back to journal writing (which I haven't done yet). 

I look forward to 5pm more than I have since Peoria. The click-click of Tim's shoe heel is one of my favorite sounds in the world. I wait for it. Can I take a moment and say how grateful I am for him--he is my person in life. I look at him and I look at myself, and I think gosh we're growing up. We're growing into each other in the healthier way. He nudges me to do my thing while reveling in my successes and curiosities. And I try to nudge him to do more things he likes, but he continues to like me the most so he does what he can to help me. He's done more than his share of dishes and lawn mowing this summer with my finger being broken, and his help lifts me. I love him, and I'm grateful for everyday with him. 

Summer moments feel slow. At the moment that it isn't too bad. Ask me again in July.