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Due to Tim's rotating job situation, I am blessed/cursed with the opportunity of making new friends each year. It is a wearisome task for me, but I think God is trying to make me better at this whole "making friends" gig. We'll see if it works at the end of the rotation period. At the moment, I am just sitting here shaking my head at the whole idea.
However, I am not alone. I just read an article entitled, "Friends of a Certain Age: Why is it hard to make friends over 30?" In his article, Alex Williams discusses some of the reasons people struggle in the friend department after graduating from college. His ideas and thoughts have weighed heavily on my mind and after much deliberation, I do believe there is truth to his article. If you are like me, I hope you'll read the article. It may make you feel less alone; it did for me.
While I am on the hunt for friends here in Milwaukee, I admit I do not ever think I will make the type of friends I made in high school and college. A special bond was created with each of the friends I had during my maturation years. The two people I was closest to in high school saw me through the pimples, the bad dates, the awkward jock encounters and my family ordeals. My three closest friends in college saw me through the rebellious stages, more bad dates/boyfriends, a few major life decisions and some amazing growing periods as a student, daughter, missionary, wife and mother. I shared rooms with three of the five girls. Sharing a room with someone pretty much ties you together for life.
Currently, I have this amazing roommate. He happens to be my best friend and knows more about me than all five girls combined. He thinks he has me all figured out, and although I hate to agree with him, I am pretty sure he does. Tim doesn't seem to need anyone else but me in his life. He is perfectly content with our friendship, however, he knows how much I need female companionship so he tries to help me in any way he can. And when I fail at friendships...which sadly happens from time to time...he reminds me he is always there. I really love him for that, but I wish he wouldn't make me move as often as we do.
How do you feel about this subject? Are you like me or do you find it easy to make friends? Any tricks of the trade you'd like to share?
I am terrible about it. I do well at making acquaintances that I have high regard for, but am very bad at letting people in close. When I was very little, this seemed to be something that came easily for me, but I feel like I was taken advantage of by a number of friends throughout my growing up years and so I usually keep people at arms' length. Even when I do get close to people I am absolutely awful at keeping in touch. I'm really grateful to those friends who make a special effort to keep in touch with me. Pretty sure I wouldn't have anyone if they didn't.
ReplyDeleteYes! Since moving to Florida, I've really struggled to make friends. I really only associate with people at church and the majority of the girls in my ward have kids and I find that to be a major stumbling block in trying to create a friendship with them. Their schedules are very different than mine, and they're in a different phase of life. When a group of girls get together, all they talk about are their kids, which is fine, it just means I have nothing to contribute to the conversation, and don't know who it is they're all talking about. I miss having girlfriends to just hang out with and do nothing with . . .
ReplyDeleteI'm horrible at making friends too. Like really horrible. I'm going to blame it on my mouth and lack of filter but I feel your pain. Perhaps that's why I'm so hesitant on moving. Just try saying hi to one new person every Sunday in relief society?
ReplyDeleteIt has been much harder for me to make friends since I have been married. I feel like other married women are much more "unavailable." It's definitely like it was in the single days when you could just call up a friend and hang out right then and there. Because we're still in utah I am still goegraphically close to a couple of my college roommates and that helps a ton. I agree with you that women need girl friends. As much as I love Greg there is a need that I have that he can't fulfill, no matter how much he tries. I believe strongly in women relationships and their power, but know how hard it can be. Especially when you move every year! Sheesh! Tell Tim to settle in one place already :)
ReplyDeleteI feel like it takes a good year to really start to feel settled and to feel like I have any friends. I can see that the moving around each year would be really tricky. I have a hard time making friends only because I assume that people will not want to get to know me and it is hard to get out of your comfort zone. I have found that to meet people at church, throwing yourself into the ward is the best way. Different callings that I have had have forced me to do that and that is when I have made my closest friends. I feel for you. I hope that you can make some good friends soon.
ReplyDeletetry & start a walking group/find someone to walk with. its amazing how you get to know someone while walking
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