Learning to stand alone

Standing alone. It is scary to do as an adult. Even scarier when you are two and a half feet tall. It makes sense though. We all like to have a crutch. Some people need other people. Some people need shopping malls. Some people need food. Some people need work. Crutches: we all have them and it's hard to let them go. Over the past week, we have watched Mya struggle to stand alone. Sometimes she would stand and quickly sit afraid of what might happen if she stood too long. Sometimes she would reach for our hands knowing comfort and security was close by. When we weren't around, she reached out for couches, walls or toys to boost her up. She was afraid to stand alone.

However, the more she does it, the more she gains confidence and stands for longer periods of time without help. Today she stood for a long time. She just waved her arms and smiled. She has attempted to step forward and succeeded twice without help. Walking is going to take a little more time. I am so proud of her. I can't tell you what it is like to watch a child progress. Many of you reading this post are nodding in quiet affirmation. It is something special. It makes me take a deeper look at my own life and how I've grown.

I have definitely had a lot of crutches in my life. Someone once told me I would be nothing without my close friends. I guess I depended on them more than I understood. It's true. I needed them like I needed air. And when they started to disappear due to graduation, fights or new paths, I felt the ground beneath my feet start to shake. I quickly turned to the security of family. Time passed, my situation changed. I was asked to serve a mission far away from my family and friends. All the ground beneath my feet disappeared. I was like Mya. I had no idea how to walk or even stand alone. It took time. It hurt on occasion. But like Mya, the more and more I tried to do new things, the more and more I gained confidence. Coming home from my mission brought new ground and new experiences. I had no crutches anymore. Then I found Tim. He became my instant crutch. He still is. I think he is an acceptable crutch. I count on his opinion and thoughts for everything.

Maybe crutches aren't so bad. Maybe we need one or two. I don't really know. But as I watch Mya I can't help but think how liberating it must be to let go of crutches. It brings back memories. Anyways, below are a couple of pictures I took today. Tim took the ones of her looking though the window. You should've seen her. She loves her dad so much...she just shrieked with delight when she saw him through the window. She stood on her tippy toes for a few minutes trying to get him to come to her. I just loved her smashed face.

Standing alone

Looking at daddy

One crutch: The wall

Second crutch: The floor

Happy to see daddy

Trying to see where daddy went

Final days of crawling

Pretty girl