I make a lot of mistakes. More than I'd like to admit.
I lose my patience all too frequently and whisper mean grumblings under my breath. I shake my head in frustration at my kids all the time just so they know I'm upset. (I used to really hate that my dad would do that, and now I do it. Grrr.) I sometimes get angry over literal spilled milk or wasted baby wipes my kids feel they must liter on the ground. I avoid chores just because I'd rather watch an episode of Law and Order. And I feel alone in this rickety old house all too often because I won't take the step to call a friend to come over and talk.
So I am imperfect, and that is the truth. However, I do do a few things right. It's all a process, you know? A few weeks back...maybe three...I had just put V down for one of her very infrequent morning naps and decided to sit at the computer to read blogs while Mya watched cartoons. I didn't think much of it until Mya came walking over and asked me to come cuddle with her on the couch. Sadly, I declined to continue doing my thing. (Remember...I'm imperfect.) I told her I would join her "as soon as I finished reading a few more things." After twenty minutes, she came over again and asked me to again sit with her. I pushed her away again and promised her "it would only be five more minutes." Twenty more minutes passed and when I got up from my chair to go sit with her, she just looked at me with wide eyes and said, "No thanks mom...it's okay."
Guess who felt like a total failure?
It was in that moment that I made a goal to not live in the virtual world when I should be living in the real world. Reading, commenting and writing would all have to wait if the kids were awake. Consequently, I stopped writing on the blog as much because I didn't know how to find a balance. I posted the guests posts but felt aloof to my own space on the blog.
In the subsequent weeks, I have pondered about my time with my kids/family a lot. I have successfully cuddled with Mya every time she has asked since that day and even a few times she didn't ask. She hates when I do that, but I secretly love it. I have also built more towers, drawn more sea creatures, danced to Elmo and created tents with the girls. It has been wonderful.
So while I may fail, I am trying to unclutter my life learn from my mistakes. I guess that is what life is all about, right?
How are you doing balancing your real life with the virtual world (whether it be Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Blogger, Tumblr, etc.)?
I only have a husband to please, so when it comes to blogging I try to do it when he works the night shift.
ReplyDeleteBut I have a really bad habit: a long nightly bathroom routine. And he hates it! So while he calls me from bed, I say "I'm almost done" and somehow 20 more minutes will pass.
I'm trying to work in that.
Oh I know how you feel! Balance is definitely difficult, and though there are times I feel I NEED/WANT to do things for ME, most of that could really wait until The Dot's asleep. Of course with a not-so-great napper, sometimes patience wears thin and I just want FIVE MINUTES OF ME TIME during the day! I just have to remind myself that although she doesn't nap great every day, most days she at least sleeps for an hour (in total) and I can read blogs and write posts then. And when she doesn't nap, I have to take that as a compliment - who wouldn't want to spend more time with me? Ha! And of course, I need to remember that after she's down for the night, I can do anything I want/need to do for myself. Still hard some days, though!
ReplyDeleteFinding the balance you are talking about is as hard as walking a tightrope, and doesn't seem to get easier with practice (at least for me). There are always a million things pulling in a million different directions.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for allowing yourself to make mistakes and learn from them. You'll make them either way, so you might as well get something out of it, right?
And thank you for being honest enough to admit to doing what we all do. I feel less alone in my failures when I read posts like this.
In those challenging moments I try to remember what my sister said to me recently, "No matter what else happens, you won't be laying on your death bed and wish you had spent more time on Facebook!"
I know I already left a comment, but i can't stop thinking about this - it's been a big problem for me lately. I had one last thought that I think is worth sharing:
ReplyDeleteIt is important to have time to refill your bucket. If you give too much and never recharge then everyone suffers. The trick is to choose activities in your "me-time" that will actually recharge you and not just suck more of your time and energy away. Too often I get caught up in something (internet/tv) that doesn't really make me feel better. I'm still trying to figure it out.
That being said, time to bet back to the real world. :-)
You're right! All you can do is learn from your mistakes :)
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this post and the comments! Thanks for the food for thought :)
ReplyDeleteI am totally hearing you loud and clear. I am taking a break from all things internety for a while. If it isn't fun or interesting I just don't do it. I'm of and on and that is the way I like it.
ReplyDeleteI need a good book too!!!