Homeless Germaphobe (I don't think that is a word.)

Ok...so before I tell my funny story, I thought I would share some pictures of Mya in the past two weeks. Because the weather abruptly changed from cool to freezing, we were faced to turn on our heat (we had hoped to make it to December), and Mya was able to start sporting some of her new winter wear. She looks adorable. I just love sweaters. She also decided she likes pears and bananas. Mya is a picky eater, so I take what I can get. The first three pics are of her discovering her love of pears and sharing them with her mommy. The last few are of her cute outfits.








My funny story: If you remember correctly, I work at the Utah College of Dental Hygiene. The students see sixty patients a day Tuesday through Thursday. Most our patients haven't seen a dentist/hygienist for 5-15 years. We see some interesting people and some disgusting mouths. Because I am one of three people who speak fluent Spanish, I come in contact with the foulest smells and scenes as I translate for students. I will just leave you with a small mental image: Black gums. A tooth flapping because it only has two roots holding it in place. Severe bone loss. Disgusting. I have to walk around after each translation because the sight of blood makes my knees weak and stomach queasy.

That is the disgusting part of my job. The upside? There are two big upsides: 1. I meet the kindest people in the world. 2. The students literally help their patients' health improve as they clean their teeth. The other upside that I personally enjoy a little too much is the fact that I meet the most interesting characters on a daily basis.

Two days ago, I met a woman that for the sake of privacy we will call Aracely. Aracely came to the college over a year ago for a cleaning. After her cleaning, the student told her she was not allowed to return to the college because she was insane. At least that is what the student wrote in her notes. She did not give us any other information. Two months ago, Aracely called us and asked us for an appointment. Following protocol, we asked her if she had ever been to the college. She said no. Lie number 1. She then told us her name was Aracely. That really is the name she gave us which is why I chose to use it now. Her name is not Aracely. Lie number 2. When the day came for her appointment, she came in the doors but refused to sign in because she said the pen had germs on it. We dismissed any weird thoughts because we were trying to seat 50 other patients. We asked her to take a seat. She declined stating, "Those seats are not sanitary. When was the last time you steam cleaned the cushions?" We told her that we sanitize the arms of the chairs on a daily basis but the seats to our knowledge had never been "steam cleaned." We then watched her as she proceeded to pull out approximately ten plastic bags which she carefully placed on her body. She put bags on her hands, feet and neck. Dumbstruck, I asked her to follow be back to her student's operatory. She followed behind me with so much distance, I really began to think she was going to get lost in the hallway. When I took her to the student, the student asked her to sit. She would not until she saw the student sterilize the chair again. All chairs are sterilized prior to the arrival of the patients. The poor student cleaned the chair again and asked her to sit down. She finally did, but not before placing one large garbage bag over her head. The bag had a hole cut out where the mouth is, and that was the only hole in the bag. She then proceeded to tell the student not to touch anything but her mouth. The student looked at me with a plea for help, but I couldn't do anything.

As I was leaving, the patient told the student she had lied about never coming to the college and that she had a chart under her "real name." I retrieved the chart and we began filling out all the proper forms. When I asked her for an address, she gave me three. She told me she lived out of her car by the parks to which she gave me the address. So after about an hour of this run around, we realized this patient was a homeless germaphobe. At least that's what we call her. Did you ever think that was possible? It was so odd. It did explain a lot though. We are still working on her but somehow we have to get her to never come to the college again. We don't know how to do that. She isn't afraid of lying. Oh well.

I just thought someone would think that was interesting. I did.