Heartbroken

Heartbroken: (adj) crushed with sorrow and grief

This is how I feel today. This is how I have felt for the past two nights as I waited patiently to fall asleep. I don't mean to reveal my silly flaws, but my need to be honest forces me to confess that I shed unexpected tears while I waited to fall asleep. I don't cry much, but when I do, the tears don't stop. Why tears you ask? Here is my story:

Last week we invited our best friends Rusty and Whit over for pizza. They came with sad and unforseen news that they might have to move within the next week. Some things fell through with their job and housing situation, and they were obligated to change their plans. I never knew how much changing their plans would affect MY plans. They called us on Monday to deliver more bad news: they were moving to Oregon on Friday. All week I dreaded Friday. I hoped they would change their minds. They didn't. I understand why. But I just hoped.

You see...Rusty and Whit became the family we didn't have in Utah. Our over two year friendship seems like it has spanned a lifetime, and I wasn't sure how to let that go. All four of us made fun of Provo and imagined leaving at any moment, but I guess we all thought we would leave together. Maybe not to the same state. But at the same time.

We met Rusty and Whitney when we were first married living at Inca Villa. We lived in apartment 3, they lived in apartment 13. Directly above us on the third floor. Tim and I had struggled to make married friends, so we began inviting couples from our complex to our house for game night. No one EVER extended the invitation back to us until we met Rusty and Whit. And that is where it all began. Here is a photo of our little place. You can't see our door because it is blocked by the stairs, but you can see theirs and you can see our window. We don't miss that place one bit.
Our friendship grew and developed over time. They became the people we relied on and visa versa. They were my trial and error recipe couple. They had to sit through my new recipes. Sorry if you didn't like any of my food guys. Thanks for being good sports. They were the first ones we told outside our family that we were pregnant. I still remember sitting on the bleachers talking to Whit as we watched Rusty and Tim play ball. We were both so excited. They always knew when we were leaving for work in the morning because they heard our car beeping. We almost always got a scream as we got in the car. They were the ones who grabbed shovels and helped us clear snow off the paths during the winter. They were the ones we watched movies with when we had nothing else to do. They were the ones that listened to the annoying duck quack during conference. If we were sick, we called them. They were the ones we ate pie at Village Inn with the night before Mya. They were the first ones we called on the way to the hospital. They were the first ones on the scene. I think they slept just as little as we did that first week. They were such big helps. We were one of the firsts to find out Whit was pregnant. We were also some of the first people to meet baby Avey. They were our Yahtzee buddies. They were our breakfast during conference friends. They were the ones that let us swim in their pool during the summer. They were the ones that could always make us laugh. And laugh we did over the last two years.

I am honestly at a loss of words as I think about what we will do each weekend. Or who I will call if my car breaks down and Tim is in class. Or who we will call when we are on the way to the hospital with our next kid (don't worry...not pregnant). Or who I will call to come eat the extra pie I made. Or who I will call on a moment's notice if I need a quick babysitter. I hope all our friends don't take offense. We love you and are grateful for you. But I am just sad. And I feel the need to post how much we are going to miss the two people we have been with since the beginning of "us."

Rusty and Whit, I am speaking for myself but I am sure Tim would say the same thing. You have meant the world to us....I will miss you more than I can say. I think I will miss you because we are so similar in our marriage and family. We have the same priorities. We have the same hopes for each other. I know we will meet so many people in our life, but no one quite like you. I can guarantee we will never live close to each other again, but I hope that we will not become the couple Rusty described last night. I hope we don't lose contact in such a way that we will one day receive a graduation/wedding announcement not knowing anything else about each other. That would be so sad. Thanks for all the memories. There are too many to tell here. I love you guys.

Days before Mya's birth

At the hospital

Burning Christmas trees

Baby Avey

Family shots

Mya's birthday

House photo shoots

Our many attempts of getting a good picture together. We finally succeeded.

Our final goodbyes