i love you.

Last night Tim reminded me of the first time I said "I love you" to him. Sadly, I had totally forgotten the moment. Aren't girls supposed to remember the important things? Well, I failed.

Since I obviously forgot about the moment entirely, I cannot remember how long we had been dating. Or what time of day it was. Or what we were wearing. Or what he smelled like. But after being reminded of the incident, I remember his face when I uttered the words. We were shopping at Wal-mart (we no longer shop there...don't worry), and Tim was being funny. He was making me laugh really hard as we were looking for groceries. I don't even remember what was funny, but I couldn't stop laughing and the words just slipped out, "Oh...I love you." I immediately realized what I said when I saw his face, and I turned and ran away. When we met back up, I tried to play it off and pretend it never happened. But it did. I had said what I had been feeling for months.

While I didn't remember that silly story, I do remember the first time I had feelings for Tim. In the beginning, we would call each other every Sunday. Tim was dating other girls, and I was interested in someone else. We would often talk about the other people and laugh about funny things that had happened or had been said. Tim even encouraged me to call the guy I was interested in. I did...only to find out that he was getting married a few weeks later. Awkward. We were friends in the simplest of terms. And after talking one Sunday, I began wishing I didn't have to wait a whole week to talk to him again. The idea of waiting 6 more days drove me crazy on Monday and so I devised a plan to call him again and ask for someone else's number. We talked for awhile that night, and somehow we began calling each other more frequently. He was all I could think about.

More than four years later, I find myself still very much in love with Tim. I find myself thinking about him during the day, and I will laugh about something he did or said the night before. Tim is more than I could've asked for. He makes my whole world better. He makes me better. And I am glad that I can tell him "I love him" without running away any time I want.