anger

[image source]

Chicago. Aurora. Milwaukee. College Station. Manhattan. Where is the next target? Better yet--who is the next target? Over the past month, I have grown increasingly aware of the outcomes of hidden anger. I realize that other shootings have also occurred and continue to occur daily, but these widely televised events have really started to get to me. They've made me want to lock my door more frequently.

Anger is very dangerous. Even it's synonyms send chills to my bones: enrage, incense, inflame, infuriate, madden, outrage, rile up, rankle. Ooouuu---ugly words.

I don't know all the facts behind the recent shootings, but I know anger is the root of the problem. Angry at oneself. Angry at one's ex-boss. Angry at a specific religious group. Angry at one's enemies.  Like I said, anger is a dangerous thing.

When I am angry, I do crazy things. Things I often forget because I block them quickly from my memory once I've calmed down. Mya knows when I get angry because she'll look at me and say, "Mom, why are your eyes like that?" And then she usually leaves and finds something to do until said eyes have disappeared. Not only my own child wants to be near me when I am angry.

I used to get angry/upset with myself and the girls a lot when I became a stay-at-home-mom. I was extremely hard on myself and them, especially when things didn't always go according to plan. Anger never solved any of my problems. It would just make Mya cry harder and my guilt grow stronger. So I decided to take adult time-outs, step away for a minute to catch my breath and readjust my train of thought . They have saved my life and probably my children's lives on several occasions.

After watching the aftermath of the shootings noted above, I began thinking all people need to take time-outs. Time-outs could help people act instead of react when anger begins to swell and fester, which it always does.

I don't really have a conclusion to my thoughts-perhaps you could provide one. All I know is that the victims of these crimes are/were husbands, wives, daughters, sons, best friends, moms, dads, etc and that means something to me. I pray for their families. I pray for my own family. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to Tim or the peanuts. 

Any thoughts on the subject?