making hard decisions

Life often hands us difficult decisions.

I seem to receive a lot of them, but that's another story. Tonight I had to make a hard decision. I was offered a small part-time job nearly two weeks ago. Everything including daycare and scheduling seemed to fall into place soon after I received the offer, so I quickly accepted.

That's the funny thing about life: sometimes great opportunities may not actually be the best choice. This job seemed ideal the day I interviewed and even throughout the subsequent days. Then things began to unravel.

Everyday I would think about this job and try to rationalize why I needed it or how I could make it work and everyday I would feel worse about it. The more I tried to make it fit into my life, the darker I felt.

It just didn't feel right so ten minutes ago I emailed my ex-future supervisor and declined the already accepted offer. I am so bummed. I have been looking for a small part-time gig for months and was so excited when I found this job. I don't really have any answers as to why everything fell apart just as quickly as it came together, but I am so proud of myself for following my intuition.

I don't always do that. I am a stubborn person and usually stick to my guns once I make a decision. Although we could benefit from a little extra income, I also wanted this job for me. I thought it would be opportunity for me to get out of the house and meet new people. Somewhere inside me I wanted to be a little selfish and have me-time. It's not time for me to have the me-time I think I need. I'll just need to find an alternative option to meet new people.

So here I am again...jobless. But a really happy jobless stay-at-home-mom. I believe in timing. I know the right thing will come along if it is supposed to.

4 comments :

  1. The decisions that you want but you know you shouldn't have are the worst! At least you are content with your decision!

    kianabates.blogspot.com

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  2. Hey Janine - I just wanted to tell you how much I love your blog. I can relate to so many of your blog posts, particularly the ones about crazy kid days, but this one too. Thanks for always writing your thoughts down...it's nice to know someone else is thinking/feeling the same way sometimes! :)

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  3. Sorry Janine, I know it was a difficult decision to make.

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  4. Sometimes the best decisions ARE the hardest. Enjoy every minute with your girls. The right opportunity will come along at the right time.

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