on nursing

I've never nursed past four months. Due to my hectic work schedule in the past and my inability to pump regularly, my milk dried up with both girls right around the four month mark. I remember the day I knew V no longer desired my milk. She looked at me with the blankest stare and refused to suck, and I just cried and cried. 

I had thought that maybe it would be different with her because I was only working part-time, but I was still as stressed as ever with work, Tim's graduation and our impending move. I suppose it was inevitable. But that day made me ache all over. I remember praying that night begging God to help me sustain my daughter's life with my own milk and receiving the overwhelming feeling that my nursing days were over. I sat in bed and thought about all the women throughout time who couldn't run to the nearest grocery store and buy a can of formula. Did none of them dry up? Oh it was so frustrating. But then another, more quiet answer, resounded in my head..."At least you can get formula and your baby isn't starving." I didn't ask anymore questions. V was formula fed from that moment on. Mya and V survived their first years on formula. They are as happy and healthy now as I think they would've been even if I would've been able to nurse for a full year.

Things have been different with Elle. I am not working and therefore have been able to nurse her every three hours since day one. She has not tasted one ounce of formula. Every time I see the rolls on her legs or her chubby cheeks I think "That's all me. I did that." We did start integrating some vegetables into her daily diet, but for the most part I am the giver of her soft belly and rolly legs. Just knowing that makes me happy every. single. night.

We are entering uncharted territory because now she is so squirmy that even covering myself with my little nursing smock seems pointless. She just flails her tiny arms all over the place taking the smock with them. We are also approaching the teeth stage. I've got to admit...teeth scare me to death. I don't know what I'd do if she ever bit me. She better not. That's all I've got to say about that.

Nursing is such a blessing. It really is. I love spending those ten quiet minutes with her every three hours. I just run my fingers through her fuzzy hair and she stares up at me with her baby blues and I'm smitten time and time again. I should also note that I am so grateful to live in this modern age where formula is available if I need it.

If you have any tips for me regarding how to deal with teeth or how to stay better covered, well...your comments are welcome.


5 comments :

  1. http://www.coveredgoods.com/collections/all
    I think im going to try something like this :)

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  2. I've gotten bit a couple times throughout my years of nursing. It startles you and hurts, but not as bad as I thought it would. I think the anticipation of it is worse! Good luck!

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  3. this is Candi on Cate's account. The best advice I was given was to blow on your babies face really fast and hard when they bite. it scares them. I only got bit a few times and it wasn't as horrible as I imagined!

    I had a really hard time nursing. I nursed for 13 months but it was painful the whole time. One of Dallas's first words was "OW" because thats what I said every few hours when I had to nurse. I had several lactation specialist help me too and I still couldn't get it right. At his one year appointment a lactation specialist discovered that I had a lot of nipple damage and a fungal infection that caused all of the burning! I wish I would have discovered that earlier!

    I'm hoping this time goes smoother. I'm actually more scared for breast feeding than I am for labor.

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  4. I LOVE nursing, but it does get tricky when your baby starts getting wriggly! I started holding The Dot's hand when she became interested in things outside of my nursing cover - it seemed to calm her, and after a while it became a habit, and also meant she couldn't expose me! Already have started holding Winnie's hand when nursing her so that hopefully it brings the same success. Otherwise, a scarf tied around my neck always worked - definitely secure and I could tuck it into baby's shirt collar if she was REALLY squirmy! As for biting, Dorothy only bit me twice - the advice I was given was to remove her straight away and give her a teething toy, then to tell her she can bite the toy, and not me - seemed to work, and don't worry, it really ISN'T as painful as you're imagining - just a shock! x

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  5. i agree w/the hand hold. as for biting, i'd just say 'ow'. maybe a flick for a second offense? I like the blowing idea better. even when they have teeth, they don't usually bite everytime. I think Christopher did twice. Michael did a slow gnaw/pinch so I didn't know when when to say "ow". he was weaned a bit earlier than christopher. (11 months vs. 13 months)

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