Lists make me anxious. Have I ever told you that? They do. No matter the size or the subject matter, all lists make me a little squimish. I guess it's because I am too much of a perfectionist and not tsk-tsking every last thing on my list each day makes me crazy. And when I get crazy, I beat myself up. And it's a harsh beating, and rarely warranted, but it happens all the same. So I avoid lists 99.9% of the time.

That being said, today I made a list. I know...I know...I make no sense. Blame it on my gender, but I rarely make sense so just roll with me. We have been in San Diego for nearly a month and a half, and I have yet to find my groove. Dinners have been harder to conjure up and chores seem to be falling by the wayside. No matter what I do to stay on top of things, I always end up on the bottom by Friday. Not to mention that any free time I used to have during naptime is now filled with an hour's worth of work. (Remember how I took a part-time copyediting job?) It's been wonderful, but it still takes time. Time that is hard to come by. I mostly work during naptime and at night so that I don't work while the kids are awake, but the consequence has been a lack of dinner making and a lack of blog writing.

And oh how my sanity teeters on how much I spew out of my mouth and onto a neon screen. So I really have to find a way to balance all the little balls in the air.

Hence, the list. In the beginning the list was daunting, but as I slowly scratched a thing here and a thing there, the list gradually got smaller. It did not go away because I didn't finish it, but I knew I wouldn't. I gave myself a pep talk before writing the list so as to circumvent any future battle of the self. It's far.

This week I am determined to get back into the habit of making and keeping a regular dinner menu, taking an occasional nap (because heaven help tired brain needs one), figuring out why Elle is choosing to nap less, writing more at night and googling all the family-friendly parks I can take the girls to during our lonely morning hours.

We are still lacking in the friend department (lacking in a really BIG way), but we remain hopeful for the future. Mya starts school in less than a month so I know she won't be lonely for too long.

Enough of that...I'm still here. I promise. I will kick my butt in gear soon.

A few pictures of life lately:
 Elle wore my favorite baby dress last week. 

 My first day back in the job world. 

This girl won't stay off the stairs. 

 Blue just got the hair around his eyes trimmed because we were pretty convinced he couldn't see anything. 

 Sight reading. She's going to be really good in school. 

"Mama, we're just tired. Just leave us here and come back to us later."

This girl is giving me a run for my money these days. What a little stinker!

1 comment :

  1. Is it horrible that I've lived in my same apartment and had relatively the same life for 3 years and I still don't have a groove? So don't feel bad about that one bit. I still don't have a grocery shopping pattern, a laundry "day" a rhythm to my chores, a meal planning routine, a regular work out schedule... I seem to fly by the seat of my pants on a daily basis. I hope this makes you feel better... I know you'll find your groove soon, you always do. And I hope you guys find friends soon... you are amazing friends to have so someone is going to be very lucky!


"Be kind and considerate with your criticism... It's just as hard to write a bad book as it is to write a good book." Malcolm Cowley