the itch

I'm starting to get that itch--the baby one. I know most of you are shaking your head at the moment, but I don't care. Although the itch grows daily, I am the first to admit that it is not the right time to start trying again. Not yet.

My life is in a constant state of motion. If I'm not changing a diaper or cleaning accidental pee problems, I am hurrying to get Blue outside so we don't have bigger messes in the house. He's a pretty good dog and actually hasn't had a problem inside the house in a really long time, but I'm paranoid. I'd rather prevent a problem than clean one, so I take him out several times a day, which doesn't really work into my schedule all that well, but I do it, albeit with a chip on my shoulder 70% of the time.

Elle is just getting her feet working right, V is just starting to learn her letters and Mya is just starting to adjust to school. My routine is actually becoming very cyclical and to be honest, if I can't have more babies for some reason, I would actually be quite pleased with my little hormonal brood.

There are plenty of personal reasons why I am choosing to stall the itch. I don't feel the need to discuss all of them, but the biggest one is related to our unknown future. Once we have some idea as to what we might be doing, I will feel more comfortable tackling the itch. For now, I will keep nursing my baby who isn't much of a baby anymore. Nursing her is helping me stall. And for now, I will keep running and strengthening my body. Having a baby in my thirties is really going to do a number on these hips of mine.

While I wait for what might be close to a year to try again, I will keep peeking at my favorite baby pictures. Please indulge me for a minute.