thoughts on a saturday morning.

I never know what to do with the random thoughts that pop into my head throughout the week. Some are serious, some are funny and some are really dumb. The thoughts that provoke blog posts are generally ones that dig a little hole in some soft spot of my brain and camp out for awhile until I have had enough time to ponder the deeper meaning of things. But no one thought is alike, and therefore, some thoughts go unwritten. 

Here are some things banging around my brain this week: 

• I recently bought tampons, and on the outside of the box it read, "Bonus: 4 extra tampons." I'm not sure who would consider that a bonus. Men and women would completely disagree. There is no bonus with extra days of a period. Never. Basically, they should've scrapped that line and written, "Bonus, two extra days of bloating, cramping, whining, aching, bleeding, b!+@&ing." Yeah, that's definitely a bonus. 
• While I'm on the gross subject of periods, I should also like to mention that I cannot wait for the day when I gain my privacy back in the bathroom. Not only can I not pee alone, but I cannot insert a tampon without a toddler cocking her head ever so slightly just to figure out what the heck mom is doing. 
• My to-do list continues to grow. I won't tell you how long ago I started writing it. It now encompasses several pages within the "notes" app on my phone. I think to-do lists are overwhelming so I try to avoid writing them, but I always like to go back and analyze them once they've been written. It never ceases to surprise me that the biggest section on my list involves keeping in touch with people. I have call Jari three times. Sorry I haven't called Jari. I know you understand. Every time I get a minute to call, someone wakes up, breaks something or screams bloody murder. I'll get to you all in time. I promise. 
• I've decided that it is perfectly acceptable to drive in your bikini in California. This morning as I was leaving the beach, I thought to myself, "Crap, you should really cover up in case a cop pulls you over." I went back and forth for a minute or two and then decided, "Nah, it might earn me a few points and help me avoid a ticket." 
• Our future is forever present in my mind. I rolled over in bed and told Tim last night how excited I am for a February/March when I won't be fretting over whether or not we are staying or going. Someday, right? Thinking about moving and/or staying makes the months crawl by. We both feel like February has lasted fooorrreeever. We told that to the Mormon missionaries when they came over the other day, and they responded, "Really, it's been flying by for us." Ugh, I wanted to ask them to leave on the spot. 
• In his book, Dad is fat, Jim Gaffigan makes a joke about eating at kid-friendly places. I can't remember his exact words, but he essentially said that kid-friendly restaurants are baaaad, and I used to disagree. Not anymore. Last night we took the kids to an old favorite of mine growing up because the kids beg us to go out (even though I'd rather poke my eye out), and within five minutes of sitting in the uncomfortable chairs, I wished I had made dinner at home. Our food was cold, and the atmosphere was a cross between a old folks' home and a Chuck e Cheese. Both of us vowed it would be a long time before we go back, if we ever go back. 
• These are the dumbest thoughts on the planet. I'm sorry if you're still reading this. 
• I shaved Blue last week. He's looking more like a dog again and less like an overgrown rat. You should've seen the spectacle that it was to shave the poor thing. I began shaving him during Elle's morning nap. I enlisted V's help, and she was kind enough to hold spoonfuls of peanut butter out for him to lick while I shaved as rapidly as possible. She got bored after about 15 minutes and started slacking on her duties a bit. Later, I found peanut butter caked in the unshaved parts. No wonder he wouldn't sit still. He could smell it, but he couldn't find it. It will be awhile before I attempt that again. 

Okay, I have to go. The kids have been reading books for the past 30 minutes and are now whining that books are no longer cool. I have to curb that thought immediately.