what am i...chopped liver?

In the 6+ years I've been married to Tim, I have repeatedly heard the following statement from family, friends, colleagues, and even strangers: "You are so lucky to have snagged Tim as a husband." 

Being the other half of the relationship, I agree with everything people say about Tim, but it often leaves me wondering, "What am I...chopped liver?" I can count on two hands the amount of times people say how lucky Tim is to be married to me. I guess it must be implied with the original statement, but because it is rarely stated out loud, I often feel like the weaker link of the relationship. I know it's not necessarily true, but it's how I feel.

This past weekend we attended our dear friends' wedding in Utah. The occasion was special and inspiring. Tim helped officiate the wedding (more on this later), and I had the opportunity to spend some quality time with friends who have meant so much to Tim throughout his whole life and to me throughout my marriage. Tim's friends really have a way of making me feel instantly loved and important, and they do it without even uttering a word. 

After the ceremony and dinner ended, the group gathered at the end of a very long table to laugh about everything and nothing. It felt so good to be in their company. As we were getting up to watch the first dance between the newlyweds, two of Tim's friends pulled me close and said, "Janine, we're really glad Tim found you. You're good for him." It was rain to my drought. 

I had never really voiced any of this to Tim until the drive home from Utah. I had to fight tears while telling him because it's such an embarrassing thing for me to admit feeling like the weaker link. Of course, he squashed all of my worries and reminded me that it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks or says, what matters is what he thinks and says. 

Marriage is such an interesting partnership. You learn to step up and step back when needed, and you learn to love the other person without reservation and without judgment. On the whole, I am very unique to Tim. I say, do and believe things that Tim would never say, do or believe. It's what I love about him. And I think it's what he loves about me. Tim and I decided not to worry so much about who happens to be the stronger or weaker link because the scale slides back and forth all the time, depending on the circumstances. We've decided to focus on just being there for each other and being ready to fight for whatever our relationship might face. Guess what...we're going to win. 


  1. You are the opposite of chopped liver! I had such a wonderful time getting to know you better. I hope to see more of you in the future. And I agree...Tim is a very lucky man.

  2. Janine you're amazing. Actually helpful to me that you posted this because I hear my husband saying things with the chopped liver undertones frequently. It helps me understand I need to express gratefulness and praise much more frequently. Thanks for always inspiring me with this blog!!


"Be kind and considerate with your criticism... It's just as hard to write a bad book as it is to write a good book." Malcolm Cowley