We've been trying to sleep train Timmy lately. Usually our babies (with the exception of Genevieve who never slept through the night until 17 months) already sleep through the night by now, but not Timmy. He has really bad nights where he cries 3-4 times a night and sorta good nights where he only cries 1-2 a night. I live for the nights he only wakes up 1 or 2 times, obviously. I'm basically a walking zombie.
But it's strange because even in my zombie-like state, I still don't get frustrated with him at night. I live for the quiet 5am feedings where we lie on the bed, and I trace the outline of his face with my fingers while he nurses and clutches my pajamas with his hands. When he finishes nursing, he rolls onto his back and nuzzles his way into my armpit cavity where he softly repeats, "da-da-da-da-da," over and over again. Sometimes he stays cuddled into my body, and I am paralyzed by our tender bond that has been forged over all these long nights, but sometimes he rolls off my body and pulls himself to a sitting position where he reaches and grabs for my face, particularly my nose, and I quietly laugh. I usually don't let him do that too long because I fear he won't go back down so I quickly stand up and wrap him like a tasty burrito and place him back in his bed as he whispers, "da-da-da-da" again.
I'm not sure why I wished my girls' babyhood away so quickly--probably because by the time they were 9 months old, I was already pregnant with another one or talking about getting pregnant, but man, I love Timmy as a baby. I really do. And I live for our 5am feedings.