lately

Can we talk about how much I hate to change my passwords? I feel like I've used all the ideas I'd likely remember, so every time a new website (or old website for that matter) asks me about a password I usually end up in a sweat.

I just signed Timmy up for preschool next year. I can't believe it. He'll be away from me three days a week. He's going to love it obviously, but geez, I can't believe it.

Last week I gave over 30 volunteer hours to PTO. I ended the week with a fever. I'm still trying to decide if it was worth it.

Mya is turning more and more into a tween. She has always been incredibly inflexible, but mix in some preteen hormones, and you've got a verified lunatic in the house. Every morning I shout out time warnings like: "10 minutes left...5 minutes...2 minutes...if you don't get in the car in 30 seconds, I am leaving without you!" This, of course, comes after about an hour of dilly dallying around the house. Mya, who is usually close to being ready before the 10 minute warning, is always the last in the car because she can't get her hair just right or she can't find a headband she planned on wearing. If I tell her that she is the one making us late there's hell to pay. So I just keep my mouth shut and head tilted away from her view while I hold in all my mom frustration.

Genevieve bounces a basketball around the house 60% of the time she's home. I love that she loves basketball (did I ever mention that she joined a rec league here in January?), but that repetitive thump, thump, thump has my brain on edge. We just got her an over the door basketball hoop for her to play with, which she loves, and now I get to hear thump, thump, thump, bang, bang, bang. I'm the luckiest.

Timmy uses the knife sharpening tool as a sword. It's a dangerous game. I'll leave it at that.

Birdie still acts more like a baby on most days than Timmy does. Timmy is nighttime potty trained. He's maybe had 1 accident. Birdie has had maybe 50 since January. My laundry machine is getting its full use.

Elle is a toothless beauty. She lost one of her top teeth last night and is missing two of her bottom teeth, and I kinda just love this stage. It's the stage that will keep her humble when she's 16 and I bring out pictures.

Elle also started cheerleading in January. She cheers at several of V's games. She was made for cheer; her body and movements are so rigid, it's perfect. Sadly, she got my lack of rhythm and is always just a little off.

I've tried not to complain about winter because what's the point?! I live in the midwest where there will always be winter, which I usually don't mind. But I'm over it this year. Be done. I wash my hands of you and your yucky germs. I've had the flu/cold 5 times this winter, and I just need to be free of it all.

It still amazes me how easy it is for Tim to find me attractive, even after 5 babies and too many days of sweat pants to mention. He just walks in the door, sees my face, and smiles. He tells me at least twice a day how beautiful I am, and it is just what this frantic body-image nut needs.

Speaking of body image, my confidence is at an all-time low. I blame it on winter. And sickness. And PTO. And...and...and...

I've had some really hard moments with the kids lately where I think what did I get myself into, but then I have these moments where I sit next to them on the couch or read to them in bed, and they nuzzle into my available crevices, and I instantly feel that bond. That bond that was created before they were born but were already mine. I often like to listen to Timmy's heartbeat while I'm lying with him before nap time. I breathe in and out slowly as I listen to his rapid beat, and I can't believe I created that beat (and 4 others).

Creation still is my favorite mother skill--whether it's life, a craft, a food, a game--it doesn't matter. I love to create something for my family.