Team Katniss

Unlike the first flick, this movie did not disappoint. While there were noticeable changes from the book version, I felt like the screenwriters did a good job making President Snow appear more human, and they created a more vulnerable character out of Katniss. I give this adaptation a thumbs up.

I saw the movie with several women from my church congregation last night. It has been a very long time (3 years I think?) since I'd seen a movie with anyone other that Tim or my family. The girls I went with made "Team Peeta" and "Team Gale" pins. I opted not to wear one because to be quite frank, it reminds me of Twilight, and this series is so much more than a love triangle. I didn't fall in love with Peeta or Gale while reading the book. If you've read the books, you know Peeta is a much better candidate for Katniss. He makes up for all that she lacks and he pushes her to be more than her stubborn self. He is my Tim (but that is another story entirely). Gale, however, could've also been a good choice for Katniss. He had so much potential, but I honestly feel that Collins let his character down a lot in the third book so I feel a bit unresolved with him. But like I said before, this series is so much more than three young lovers.

After watching the movie last night, I was reminded how disturbed I felt for weeks after Tim and I finished the series. I would think to myself, did I really spend hours upon hours reading about kids killing kids? The subject itself is rather unsettling. But as I've had time to let the books and movies settle into my bones, I now understand why Collins felt prompted to write what she did. I mean...I understood it before when I listened to her explain her reasoning behind the plot, but last night, I realized something bigger: kids kill kids everyday, and it gets televised and dissected until everyone is just plain mad at each other. There are so many angry people in this world, and it doesn't really matter if they fall into the rebel or follower category, what matters is that there is a lot of unresolved anger that turns into raging outbursts.

Just some thoughts as I continue to think over the film. It's really good. It's worth the money. One thing is for sure--I am Team Katniss.

peanut wondering: neighborly or creepy?

Remember how I used to hate doing dishes? I don't anymore, unless I've let them get wildly out of hand and piled up on the counters. I really despise those days. Luckily, they don't occur too often anymore.

I believe I've found the cure to my distaste for dishes duty: windows over my sink. Every night I fill up my sink with hot soapy water and begin methodically washing each dish by hand. While I am blessed with a dishwasher in this wonderful Wisconsin rental, I still wash more dishes by hand. Why? I hate wasting so much water. And just looking out my front windows helps me forget how much I hate this tedious chore.

We have lived in Milwaukee for five months and thanks to my daily dish duty and my front windows, I now know when to expect my lawyer-neighbor to arrive home every night of the week. It varies from day to day and I know his schedule by heart. I feel this is particularly pertinent because he is a elderly gentleman and a widower and I don't him to go unnoticed. I also know when my handyman neighbor goes to mass each day. He must know my routine too because he always waves and smiles as he pulls in his driveway. I know what time the man around the corner takes his lunch break and when his wife gets home from her accounting job. I also know when the lame mailman takes his cigarette break on the side of my house--this information came in handy over the summer when I would quickly run to the side of my house to close all the windows to block out the stinky smell.

Tonight as I watched my familiar neighbors pull in and out of their driveways I began to wonder if all my knowledge was neighborly or creepy? Is it creepy that I know when Christmas lights turn on and off at our adjacent neighbor's house? Is it strange that I care so much about an older gentleman I hardly know anything about? Is it weird that I love my neighbor for being so loyal to his religion?

What are your thoughts?

green therapy

Mowing the lawn is my therapy. I mowed my first lawn as a newlywed and have been cutting grass ever since. To save money on rent, Tim and I decided to accept the management position at our first married complex. We continued to manage apartments during the rest of our tenure in Provo, and mowing the grass was always part of the deal. Let's just say that I became quite skilled and OCD in the ways of grass cutting.

Mowing is mind-numbingly easy. The hardest part for me is just trying to get the dang mower to start. But once the machine is up and running, there really isn't any way to stop me. I love creating crisp, straight lines in the lawn and usually go over and over an area until I am satisfied with the way it looks. While some people like to make designs or patterns in their grass, I am happy as can be with horizontal lines.

Because the task is so easy on the brain, I find myself getting lost in the lines. Back and forth, back and forth I go until the lawn is completely trimmed and neat. It took me a little over an hour to cut both the front and back yards tonight, and although my back was aching towards the end...I found the whole process therapeutic. I think baby girl liked the sound of the mower because she was bouncing all over the place and finally found rest when the machine stopped.

I'm fairly certain my neighbors think Tim is a deadbeat husband. Obviously, he is far from that but I received multiple quizzical looks and scowls as I completed my task. Tim had taken the girls to get an oil change on one of our cars and had hoped I'd take a bath or lie down, but no...I didn't do either. When he arrived home, he just shook his head at me knowing a person of my current stature really shouldn't have been out pushing a clunky, old lawn mower. But the thing I love about Tim is that even though he doesn't totally approve of my therapy choice, he hasn't told me not to do it. He knows I know what my body can handle, and he trusts me. I also thinks he is secretly happy that the chore won't be waiting for him this weekend. (He's probably rolling his eyes in regards to that comment, but I know it's true.)

What chore is therapeutic for you? Just curious.

feeling big.

(note to brother: I know I didn't roll my shoulders back...I felt like this was the most accurate view of my posture these days...as sad as that is.)

25 weeks sneaked up on me. I looked in the mirror the other day and thought to myself, "Wow, I'm big." Truthfully I have felt big since 13 weeks when my protruding stomach hung over my normal jeans. I didn't show with my other peanuts until 18 or 19 weeks so it was so weird to be tugging at the top button of my jeans so early on in my pregnancy. It really toyed with my emotions.

Although my belly sprouted earlier and grew faster, I feel like things are slowing down just a bit. I can't really imagine getting much bigger than I was with my other girls so I think my body is just adjusting to the weight, which really makes me smile. It has taken so much more effort to stay healthy during this pregnancy mostly because I no longer possess a gym pass. With Mya, I walked/ran several miles a day. I also mowed a really large lawn weekly and was constantly busy cleaning apartments for extra money. Staying fit wasn't a problem. With V, I was really involved with Zumba (oh how I miss that class) and rode the elliptical on the off days. I was also working full-time so snacking wasn't really a problem because I was so busy. 

This pregnancy has been different. With two needy and usually very hungry peanuts, I feel like we are snacking all day. I also feel lazy because we are home most of the day every day. I joke with Tim that I don't take more than 100 steps a day (which I know is false but that's how it feels sometimes). Around 13 weeks I decided I needed to make exercise an essential part of my day. (I had been running prior to my pregnancy but the morning sickness really did me in during the first trimester so I stopped). I started waking up early in the morning and walking alone. I push myself to walk hard and fast and find myself constantly out of breath. Thank goodness there is a McDonalds on my route because I normally stop for a bathroom and water break. The people there look at me like I'm crazy, but they are very kind. I sweat more the bigger I get. It's a good feeling. 

Walking has been a blessing in my life. I feel like it will help me resume my running habit once baby girl bounces out of me. I do think she will bounce. She is a mover. Along with walking, Tim and I also changed our diet thanks to some motivation from our best friends on the cruise. We switched to ground turkey, chicken and tilapia for our main dishes. I hadn't eaten red meat for a month before I caved and devoured half a hamburger last night for dinner. I should note that the article I posted about hamburgers last month really kicked my burger desire to the curb. I am really into chef salads at the moment. So here's to feeling big but staying healthy. 

For those of you wondering about baby girl, I'll tell you that I think she is a healthy little swimmer. I've had a dozen ultrasounds for health reasons, and I'm always reassured that she's growing great. We don't have a name. We have a couple in mind but haven't been overly impressed one way or another. She beats my other girls in the heart burn department. I have already chewed through two bottles. And she loves to put her pointy elbow in my ribs. Most days I still look in the mirror and wonder what the heck I am going to do with three kids (two of which will be eighteen months apart) and other days I feel completely calm about the whole situation. People really freaked me out before I had V telling me "Having two kids would rock my world." It didn't. It actually grounded my world, and I've loved having them. I do think three will challenge me, but I am going to take it one step at a time. 

peanut wondering: what did you or your friends do to stay in shape during pregnancy?

peanut wonderings: retro pioneer princess

Last week I put V in one of the dresses from my childhood. I am not sure if my mom or grandma made the dress, but I am pretty sure V rocked the it better than I did twenty years ago. Tim did not approve of the frock calling it a "pioneer dress," but we received lots of compliments on it from women in church. Luckily no one looked too close because the buttons on the back kept popping open exposing V's backside. Oh well, I love that backside and seeing it bare every once in a while just made me smile.

peanut wonderings: did your parents save your baby clothes? do you dress your kids in them from time to time?

peanut wonderings: vacations?

[image source]

This is where I will be vacationing this year. The beautiful, majestic Cabo San Lucas. How about you?

peanut wonderings: clarity?

[image source]

With the weather warming up, I am getting back in the habit of taking my early morning walks/jogs. There is just something about feeling the crisp air on my sleepy skin and watching the sun peak its bright head over the rooftops that gives me clarity. I walk/jog alone so I take the sacred thirty minutes to think about things weighing heavily on my mind. It is amazing the amount of peace I receive as I ponder each thought while admiring the stirring nature.

Unlike Provo, there are not a lot of walkers here. I find myself utterly alone every morning passing only empty cars and dimly lit houses. Kids are hardly awake for school before I reach my street corner. The stillness of the morning moves and motivates me. I feel alive and ready for the day when I walk through my front door. My mind is clear and my focus is sure as I start our daily routine.


Where do you find clarity? I will admit that the other time I find clarity is when I am cleaning. I get lost in scrubbing floors, toilets and sinks and thoughts flow freely. It's weird...I know but it's true.

peanut wonderings: how do you feel about aging?

I never worried too much about aging believing it was just a natural part of life and why try to stop it. This was my belief, and I was sticking to it...until a month ago. Nearly four weeks ago I looked took a deep look at my face while I was brushing my teeth. I didn't know my own face. Somewhere over the past few years I added a wrinkle here and a wrinkle there, and my skin had become dry and blotchy. Gone were the oily days of my teenage years.

Since I hardly wear makeup I thought it important to research products that would help improve the quality of my skin. I purchased some new cleanser, moisturizer and night cream to smooth out the rough edges. I am determined to take better care of myself because I don't want to date myself before I'm thirty.

How do you feel about aging? What do you do to take care of your skin?

peanut wonderings: how are you doing on your resolutions?

I feel like January 1st was ages ago. So much has changed and continues to change with each passing day. Can you believe it's almost April? I am going to be 30 before I know it with the way time is flying by. I am not sure if I am ready for thirty so I will try and pretend life is at a stand still...at least for a little while.

Thinking about our romantic New Year's Eve night reminded me to review my goals for this year. I am totally failing when it comes to wearing makeup four times a week; I am lucky if it touches my face twice. I am also lacking in the flossing department. I need a little pep talk from my dental hygiene buddies. And there are a handful of other things that have been shoved to the side as I figure out what the heck we are doing at the moment.

Although I am losing the battle with my resolutions, I am succeeding with a few. I feel like I am slowly finding my adult fashion sense. I know who I am and am trying to display that on the outside (whenever I get up the energy to ditch my sweats). I am also taking two college courses which have my brain reeling all the time. And I am slowly figuring out how to use my camera. It's taking a lot of reading and practicing.

The biggest success I am finding with my goals is one I did not share with you in December. I wanted to find joy in the small things. I often fret about the silliest and smallest details and overlook the great things that are right in front of my eyes. However, I am loving all my time with the girls. We've been playing horse a lot lately and while my knees are beginning to buckle faster, I love hearing the two of them squeal with delight. This is a simple pleasure I would've overlooked because of my need to be constantly doing other things.

How are you doing on your resolutions? Can you even remember what they are?

peanut wonderings: what class would you take?

[image source]

I am currently completing one of my new year's resolutions--I am taking two college courses. One on improving personal writing and one on modern poetry. I had hoped to attend a live class, but it didn't work with our schedules so I settled for independent study. I thought I wouldn't like doing a class on my own because I am not always motivated to start things, but I have really enjoyed reading and brainstorming on my own time.

The classes are now filling some of my down time that I would normally use for the blog because I must complete them before May so please be patient with me if I miss a day or two.

Participating in these classes has really renewed my love of learning. I miss college and constant learning a lot. If you could go back to college and take a course, what would you take?

peanut wonderings: what part of your body causes you the most pain?

 [image source]

Pain is relative. What may hurt one person may not even phase another. I hate being in pain, and although I try to tolerate pain positively, I am still such a wuss. I have been suffering from constant headaches and migraines for the past two weeks. No amount of legal medication has helped. I've considered hitting up south Peoria for the hard stuff.

I hate when my feet and head ache. I cringe anytime my peanuts step on my feet. I'm not sure why they are so sensitive, but they really are. I also hate the dull thumping at the back of my neck. It paralyzes me in ways I cannot describe.

What part of you body causes you the most pain?

peanut wonderings: where is your favorite place you've visited?

[image source]

I love to travel. Do you know that about me? While I don't claim to always be spontaneous, I am when it comes to hopping on a plane or in a car and visiting a new place. I can't tell you how many vacations have been planned on a whim and borrowed money. I've been on a lot of exciting adventures as I have visited the following places (not all inclusive): California, Nevada, Oregon, Illinois, Michigan, Florida, Virginia, Maryland, New York, Missouri, England, France, Spain, Italy, Belgium, Switzerland, Germany, Czech Republic and Argentina.

So what has been my favorite place? It's hard to choose. I love Argentina because I lived there and allowed myself to become a part of the culture. I love Cinque Terre, Italy because I can still remember hiking between the cities in my bathing suit with my best friend while enjoying the best gelato in the world. And I love Key West, Florida because watching the sun set over the vast water with my sweet man still gets me giddy. 

Can I have three places? I actually have more but those are places I think about almost daily. What is your favorite place?

peanut wonderings: what are some of your staples?

I love to grocery shop. It's addicting. If I had a car, I think I'd go to the store everyday because I love to walk up and down each aisle and dream up delicious dishes. Whenever I am at the grocery store, I  observe people and their carts. Shallow or not, I think you can tell a lot about a person by the cart he/she pushes around.

 [I am too embarrassed to show you a picture of my fridge which is a literal piece of trash. The door is broken. The shelves hold up the condiments with a twisted hanger. I will save you the shock of seeing it and just post this picture of my dream fridge. Image source.]

What are some of the staple items you always grab while at the store? Is there a special treat you hide from your spouse/roommates/kids/dogs? Do tell.

Here's a sample of my normal list:
-apples                                                      
-oranges                                                     
-bananas
-lettuce
-tomatoes
-basil
-thyme
-potatoes
-onions
-carrots
-bell pepper (color depends on price)
-broccoli
-celery
-pizza sauce
-pepperoni
-Kraft mac & cheese
-chicken broth
-black beans
-corn
-tortillas
-diced green chiles
-flour
-sugar
-cheerios/raisin brain/marshmellow mateys
-whole wheat bread
-deli lunch meat
-boneless, skineless chicken breasts
-leanest ground beef
-eggs
-yogurt
-1% and whole milk
-mozarella cheese
-sharp cheddar cheese
-pringles
-pretzels

My weekly food budget is $70 so I don't buy all of these items every week. I almost always go over the budget by $10. It is so aggravating, but I will not give up my fresh fruits and vegetables. What is my special treat? Well, it depends on my mood: a bag of skittles or a milk chocolate Dove bar. I immediately hide them upon my arrival home. Not even Tim knows my hiding place.

peanut wonderings: what did you want to be when you grew up?

{me circa 1987}

Does any kid really know what they want to be when they grow up? I guess they think they do. I did. At four, I was dead set on being a barbie. At ten, I knew I would be a professional ice skater. At seventeen, I settled on my natural ability to be a teacher and decided that would be my future profession. I tried to ignore my talents and switched around from major to major while in college hoping I would graduate in anything other than teaching, but nothing fit my personality as well as being in front of a classroom full of rowdy pubescent boys and girls.

Yesterday when I picked Mya up from preschool and again learned that she didn't want to sit and listen like the other kids and that she remained headstrong about doing her own thing, I wondered what she would be when she grows up. It's a gamble. She will either be the President of the United States, a hockey player or a nurse.

She'd make a good president because she is really good about saying a lot of fancy things but doing the exact opposite of what she says. She'd be an excellent hockey player because she has enough built up aggression that she will let it fly on the ice. And she'd be a stellar nurse because even though she has a rough exterior, she has a heart of gold and loves to nurture people. I often find her in her room rocking her baby animals to sleep. And when I was sick last week, she would come into my room and stroke my hair while whispering, "You'll get better soon."

I don't really care what she becomes as long as she doesn't end up in jail.

What did you want to be when you grew up? Did you become it? If not, what did you do with your life instead?

peanut wonderings: when was your first kiss?

how old were you when you had your first kiss? would you take it back if you could?

I was fourteen

I had just ditched my glasses and my frizzy perm

In a sense, I thought I had come into my own

I quickly realized I hadn't

He was seventeen

A boy from the track team with too much enthusiasm

He was handsome

and had a car

I needed a ride

He didn't park in front of my house

I was confused

He kissed me square on my lips before I could find the door handle

It scared me half to death

I wouldn't kiss again until I was seventeen

That first kiss was just so traumatic

I would take it back if I could

And I would've punched him in the face if I had more guts

[image source] 

p.s. my husband hates when i talk about other people i kissed...so maybe don't remind him of this story when you see him because he frowned the entire time he was reading it.

peanut wonderings: are you more scared of dying or having your partner die?

Tim thinks this is a really creepy topic. He didn't even answer the question when I posed it to him last night. I'll admit that it is, but it's been on my mind ever since I read a sweet little post by Joanna Goddard. She asked her blog readers if they ever worried about their partner dying. My immediate reaction: YES...every time he is five minutes off his normal home arrival time.

I don't know why I am the way that I am. I am a worrier and have been for as long as I can remember. My stomach would knot up any time my parents went on a date and didn't come home exactly when they said they would. That knot has probably tied itself into several potential ulcers since we've been married.

Here's the deal: I am madly in love with my husband. I feel him even when he isn't around me. His voice is always inside my head pushing me forward and cheering me on, especially when 2:30pm rolls around and the kids are out of control. I know every inch of his face. I love the touch of his skin. I steal his pillow after he gets out of bed in the morning just so I can smell him a little longer. He is the only person who knows and understands all my idiosyncrasies, and he is the only person I have ever felt I can be completely "me" with all the time. He is my equal in every way so the idea of something happening to him is really an uncomfortable one. Perhaps you have felt the same...

However, I was thinking about the article as I listened to Tim breathe deep in sleep, and I started to think of Jo's question from another angle. Am I more scared of something happening to him or to me? If you know Tim, you know that I am his whole world. That man could probably go without everything else if asked to just to be with me. As unbelievable as this may sound in this crazy world full of divorce and separation, Tim is 100% committed to making my life better, happier even. (And he does.)

As the question brewed in my head, I thought about how Tim would react if something happened to me. He would be heartbroken. The face that normally graces my presence with a smile would be smile-less. And that would kill me. I know he would pick up the pieces because he will be forced to, but I know how much the loneliness would hurt him.

Then, I thought of my girls and the many milestones I would miss. The school performances. The dances. The boyfriends. The weddings. Everything. I had to stop thinking about my peanuts because my stomach really starting aching at that point.

But then my thoughts turned to my parents, siblings and friends. People who are already separated from me by distance, and I thought about how much they are a part of my life. And how I am completely wrapped up into theirs.

I am not trying to toot my horn. Heaven only knows I don't have a big horn to toot, but I think there are people who would miss me. And the idea of that makes me sad. So I remain undecided. My life would be incomplete without Tim.  I doubt I would ever remarry. He has ruined the chances for any other man. Who could ever compete with the love he has shown me for the past five years? But I think losing me would kill him too. So it's a tough call. What do you think?

peanut wonderings: is there a place you dread going?

It's a tie. I hate walking over to my kitchen sink. My dishes whisper mean things at me all day for neglecting them so I just avoid it. But I think I equally dread going to this place just as much as I hate my stuffed porcelain sink. See if you can figure out where it is by this short video:

Welcome to my personal purgatory: McDonald's Playland. The last time we visited, we were blessed to witness the following chaos: 

the small jungle gym shaking violently

the chicken nugget vomit coating the newly-remodeled tile floor

the vacant eyes of mom's as they scanned their iPhones and avoided watching their kiddos

the incessant shrills of ten-year old boys and girls (aren't they too old for that thing?)

the smell of grease permeating the too-small parent sitting area

the groups of adorable moms I wish I was friends with avoiding eye contact with me

the large amount of food on the ground available to my ten-month old

Walking into any playland just makes me nauseated. I don't know what's worse: the greasy food or the screaming kids, but my stomach knots within seconds of stepping in that place. However, Mya loves it. She can't get enough of it so I take her there so she can be among people and scream with the other children because she knows she is not allowed to scream like that at home.

**I sent this video to a good friend of mine after we got home. She texted me three words back: bathe them well. Don't worry...we did.

peanut wonderings: can you spot the HUGE error?

So in an effort to make my February Crush Project work, I started emailing some of my favorite bloggers/readers last night. I probably should've waited until this morning because I wasn't feeling too hot last night and had just taken a heavy dose of Alka-seltzer before sitting down at the computer. I sent this email to one blogger. See if you can spot the mistake:

"I was wondering if you would like to be a guest blogger on my blog A handful of peanuts... in the month of February. I am contacting some of my favorite bloggers and asking them to send me a picture of me and their spouse and answer one of the following questions:"

Did you see it? Did you gasp out loud when you read it? Or did you miss it like I did when I did a quick review of the email before sending it? Let me narrow it in a little for those of you who missed it.

"I am contacting some of my favorite bloggers and asking them to send me a picture of me and their spouse and answer one of the following questions:"

Ummm. No. That is obviously wrong. I do not want people to send me a picture of me and their husband. Oops. I sent a correction email but doubt they will participate because they probably think I am insane. And perhaps I am.

peanut wonderings: books

Do readers find their books or do books find their readers?

On a different note: Some street art I found in Normal, Illinois was featured on this blog: The Infinite Madness

peanut wonderings: did you like it or hate it?

So I barely finished my twelve days of Christmas baking on time. Baking that many treats in not very many days just about killed me and my tummy. At one point I turned to Tim and asked, "What would you do with a wife that didn't know how to cook and bake?" We both laughed and agreed: He'd be really skinny. I guess weight is just something we are always going to have to battle since I will not stop cooking or baking.

So here's my question to you: Did you like when I posted the recipes or did you hate it? I flip flopped depending on the day and my mood. Quite frankly, I think that Julie girl who decided to create all of Julia Child's recipes in a year was out of her mind because from my experience...cooking the food, photographing the finished product and writing about the experience was a lot of work. I can't imagine doing it for an entire cookbook. Twelve days was challenging enough. However, I am willing to post a recipe of mine once a week if you liked the project. If too many people disliked it, than I will scrap the idea entirely.

So please share your opinion with me. It won't hurt my feelings either way. 

And for good measure, I thought I would share my Christmas Hash recipe with you. I modified this from a recipe I found on The Pioneer Woman's website a few years back. Here's her original recipe. It might give you an idea of what to do with all that extra ham sitting in your fridge.

My Christmas Hash
Non-stick cooking spray
3-4 c. frozen hash browns
1-1 1/2 c. diced ham
1 diced green bell pepper
1 diced red bell pepper
1 medium onion, diced
1 jalepeno, seeded and diced
2 Tbsp. butter
3/4 c. grated cheese
3-4 eggs
salt and pepper to taste

(I use my cast iron skillet for this recipe because you stick the whole pan in the oven at the end, but if you don't have one, just use a normal frying pan and layer the ingredients in a baking dish at the end.)

Using the cooking spray, fry the hash browns. Salt and pepper to taste. Once cooked, transfer the hash browns to a plate. Melt butter in the skillet and add ham, bell peppers and jalepeno. Cook for 4-5 minutes until vegetables are soft. Transfer vegetable and ham mixture to plate. Return potatoes to pan as the bottom layer. Add vegetable and ham mixture on top as the second layer. Salt and pepper a little. Spread cheese over top. Put in the oven at 350 for 15 minutes. While the pan is in the oven, cook your eggs however you like them. I like them scrambled; Tim loves them over-easy. Remove pan from oven and top the hash with your eggs. Tim always adds salsa to his meal. I do not like salsa with breakfast foods so I skip that step. Eat up. You'll love it.